


Birds of a Feather

by just_Lu



Category: The Folk of the Air - Holly Black
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:46:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 76,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26415145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_Lu/pseuds/just_Lu
Summary: The fic is about Cardan and Jude getting to be friends while they are still students, and it develops to love.I follow TCP story line in the beginning, but along the way I made some alterations, so Jude and Cardan get to know each other better and build up a friendship.~I alternate POV;~There will be sex, eventually;~made up characters now and then.
Relationships: Jude Duarte/Cardan Greenbriar
Comments: 287
Kudos: 200
Collections: favorite on TFOTA





	1. Chapter 1

[Cardan’s POV]

My room is contaminated with her scent, a citric fragrance with something like mint by the end of it. Her warm body lays beside mine, although we are not touching, I can feel its heat by my arm. Last month I wouldn’t even have gotten in my room with a shirt on, but I guess it was totally over for her now. Nothing new to me, not being loved back. I am still glad that Nicasia wishes to spend time with me as my friend.

“Have you noticed that Locke has been looking at the twins? Those hideous mortals?”, her voice is a sneer.

“We always look at them”, I remind her, and cannot avoid the disgust in my voice. “Their presence is so annoying that it is hard not to look”

“Yes, but his eyes...”

I hate that she is doing it, telling me her worries about another. She is staring the ceiling, playing with a curl of her ocean hair, pouting. Now Locke is annoying _me_. He chooses to look at humans when you have Nicasia’s eyes on you. Those mortals shouldn’t be in the same class we attend to. And Jude Duarte is the worst between them, not knowing her place, she thinks she can be a Knight! What a fool! I have tried to ignore this insult for years, since the oldest sister Vivienne is a nice girl and is friendly with me and Rhya. Thinking of Jude Duarte gives me a chill of my old envy for her family love and disgust. At her. At me.

“You have a better pair of eyes watching you right now”

Nicasia turns her head to meet my eyes. Her delicate features charms me. The corner of her mouth curves in a mocking smirk.

“You do have beautiful eyes. Nonetheless, we have been through it, Cardan... I care for you as a friend, and do not wish to bed you thinking of another, exactly because I do care for you”

“It is not like you would be the first”, my eyes wander her thin lips that she had painted pink.

“That is awful!” she laughs.

Nicasia laughs differently when it is just the two of us. More vivid and sincere. It hurts to know it does not mean that Nicasia would not rather have this intimacy with Locke.

As the week passes by, I start paying attention and Nicasia was right. Locke glances at the twins with more frequency than we all had been looking at them over the years. Did something change on them to require all this ogling of his? Does he know that he was caught by me and Nicasia? If Valerian notices it, he might mock Locke until he feels ashamed of his thoughts. Or perhaps, he would take advantage on the excuse to torment the mortals. There is no doubt that I am cruel, but Valerian is not far behind, only his cruelty is more vulgar and bloody.

Does Locke know the difference between the sisters? I saw him looking at Taryn once class has started, but by the end of it, his eyes were on Jude. My eyes takes a glimpse of Nicasia, sorrow runs her face for a second at the sight of Locke looking another. I feel sorrow as well, but I am not soft as Nicasia, and pure hatred consumes me right after. Jude might have felt me staring, because she looks back at me. First her pupils dilate in surprise to have caught me, but since my expression does not change, Jude’s eyes narrow in a dare. See Locke? Jude chose to feel my stare and not yours.

However, I cannot allow myself to keep staring now. There is nothing different from all the times that I have looked at her. It begun when they first came. It was hard enough to think about a human receiving a parent love from a great warrior, the general Madoc, but it took all of us aback to see twins. So I would look to note the differences, playing with my own brain challenging myself to see them apart. It was easy, since Taryn would always shrink at my staring, and Jude would always compete to who would blink first. If she were not who she was, we could have been friends. That is when it got worse, at that thought, because it led me to imagine it. In my miserable days after receiving Balekin’s punishment, I allowed myself to dream of a friend. Of that girl playing with me, and that made me eager to attend classes. I could be mean to her, and she would not show fear. A sinister friend.

But puberty is a disastrous thing. And of course it started while watching Jude. Vivienne had invited her sisters to swim with Rhya, and I did not know it. I bet Jude did not know it either. The auburn curls of her hair were darkness, soaked straight. Her eyes did not dare me, Jude was not surprised but confused about my presence. Her full lips were slightly parted, and drops of water were sliding her throat to her breasts, that I realized then they were bigger than the female fae, even if she was still 14 years old. She was under the water enough to cover her nipples, but that was when it hit me. I was furious at myself and left stomping back to Hollow Hall without saying a thing to my sister. This loathsome randiness took over me, and my hand worked as my imagination grew wild. Repulsive. I hate myself for that. I hate that it was not the last time that I thought about Jude’s body.

That is why I get back to look at Baphen now, speaking whatsoever about the stars. I hate prophecies, but they are more bearable than Jude’s gaze.

“What is your thing with them?”, I ask Locke at lunch time.

Nicasia glares at me, but she does not leave. She wants to know too. Valerian is watching us, since he did not understand my question. We are sitting over a blanket with our baskets of food open. 

Locke runs his fingers through his reddish hair. He does that out of habit, but I bet Nicasia finds it charming. I take a bite of my honeycake to avoid showing my anger. However, Locke does not help me with it. His eyes wander to the twins again. They are laughing and eating far enough to not hear us talking. I feel something wrong inside me. Jude happiness makes me want to make her suffer. As if I didn’t have enough reasons to not like her, now she is possibly making Nicasia sad and jealous. Nicasia. Jealous over a mortal.

“I am interested. They seem like they could give me an entertaining story. And have you not noted? Their bodies are all full of curves and seem soft to touch”, he tells us.

“Ew, you are thinking of _that_ with those two?”, Valerian finally understands.

Nicasia turned her head, pretending to be distracted. If Locke would take just a glance at her, he would know Nicasia was pretending. Shame gives a twist in my guts, since I also wonder about Jude’s skin.

“So they are your game now”, I say. Not a question, he was already on it.

Locke gives me a smirk.

“Since you guys are my friends, could you promise me to not tell anyone about my new adventure with the Duarte twin?”

“I promise, but you must make it fun to watch!”, Valerian malicious smile means a lot of possible things.

“Yeah, sure”, Nicasia shrugs. “But we get to torment them. A reminder that they are still mortals and are just part of a game”

The thing is that this game could be endless. Nicasia thinks that Locke would get bored soon, but I think otherwise. Especially if he chooses Jude. He nods to Nicasia in agreement, then look at me. Part of me is getting excited with the outcome of it. Will Locke be able to break Jude Duarte? Or maybe he prefers the delicate Taryn. If he chooses Jude, will she fall for him? Will I stop thinking about her?

“Yes, I will not tell anyone about your game. You may have fun”

\--

“You are weak, Cardan!”, Balekin spite in every spitting word. He is testing my training with swordplay, and I hate it. I do not wish to be a warrior, I just want to be lazy, drink wine and fuck. “Get up, pick up your sword! Do you think I have much free time as yourself?”

“Oh please, brother”, I am laying over my elbows to look at him, “if you are so busy, I do not wish to keep you here!”

“Get up, Cardan!”

I pick up the sword and get in position. I do know how to use a sword, but I hate it, and hate to be tested. So I make a poor standing just to mock my brother’s patience. Balekin gets so angry at me, that he makes my sword fly from my hand, and punch my stomach. I am out of breath, and fall to my knees. The thorns from his knuckles leaves tiny holes, and blood stains my shirt. Is this enough? Did he see how of a failure I am? Is he going to toss me away like father? No. He calls to his servant. Since I know this quite well, I take off my shirt so this will be over soon. At least the pain of being beaten distracts me from my pitiful heart.

“Why must you act like this?”, Balekin lets out a heavy breath. “I want you Strong to be by my side, brother! Do you not understand that? You have to grow up, Cardan! At least with the basics of responsibilities!”

The sounds of the wattle meeting my flesh are repulsive. Balekin saying that he wants me by his side just gives me a sour taste lingering in my mouth.

“Ok, it is enough.” The beating stops, and even if it hurts enough to make me want to cry, I hold the tears in and put back my shirt on. “Get ready to the ball. I expect to see you there. You may have fun as you like”, and Balekin leaves at that.

The human servant follows right after. I need wine.

\--

The ball in the palace. I find Nicasia talking with a courtier, that at my sight, just bows and leaves. Nicasia giggles and maybe I can have a good night of fun. She wears her diadem of pearls and made braids with cobwebs attached. My hand reaches for one of the braids, just to feel it.

“You are going to break my heart all over again. I beg for your kindness, princess Nicasia”, I smile at her.

“Oh, you have to try harder than that!”, she laughs.

I let go of the braid.

“That seems like effort, hum. Not my thing. Lets just have fun... Oh, Valerian is really trying to get some attention. I think he did use some effort!”

He is wearing red, and as he walks towards us, Valerian winks at someone on the crowd.

“Have you guys eaten yet? I am hungry!”

Locke shows up and put his arm around Valerian’s shoulder.

“I am hungry. Lets go fetch something good!”

“Oh, you might fetch something human to eat. I heard the meat is good”, Valerian teases, but Locke does not seem bothered. He actually grins.

“Maybe I will take a bite!”

All my anger is back. From his stupid game, from Balekin. I need wine. So I take the lead, and as we are walking, I hear Valerian’s voice but cannot catch what he is saying. Probably another stupid joke. I turn to look, and see who he is talking to. Jude. Taryn’s head is down, feeling afraid of me, but Valerian is the one tormenting her sister.

“Valerian”, I call him. I feel my eyes narrowing at Jude in response to her glare.

I cannot even process how despise for her makes a twist to other things as my eyes take her figure in that sapphire velvet dress. It caught my breath for a moment. Disturbing. I hate myself again. Really, I am not having a good night.

Wine. I get back walking, seeing all these people wanting my attention, curtsying. Then there is this boy with long copper hair and moth wings standing right at my face, laughing, not bowing. I am taken by all my anger and punch him right at his face. He dares to laugh at me? I am his prince! It is not enough, so I grab and tear one of his wings, so he will remember me. He is crying out in pain now, and I feel satisfied. Good, I am not the one crying. Share your tears for your prince, will you? I start walking again, but hear someone helping the boy, which is unusual around here. Locke. He chose Jude, since they are looking at one another as if they are sharing a secret. He _winks_ at her. I turn, and this time I don’t stop until I find wine. The rest of the night is a blur of laughing, dancing and making out some stranger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you thought about the chapter! Your comments makes me really happy :D


	2. Chapter 2

[Cardan’s POV]

We are standing on the riverbank. Taryn is shaking with cold by Locke’s side, so Jude must be feeling cold too.

“Give up”, I tell Jude.

She shouldn’t have thought that she could pay back from what I did to their food, putting salt to _my_ food. She was supposed to listen to her sister and stay out of sight.

“Never”. Of course she’d say something of the like.

I smile.

“Never is like forever – too big for mortals to comprehend”

Nicasia and Valerian laughs. Jude’s nose wrinkles in a face of anger. I like it. It is how I wanted to face Balekin, with no fear or shame. Her response is all I ever wanted to be, brave, strong. Even if I am on the riverbank and Jude is inside the water, even if I just threw her there, she can still look strong, unshakable. It bothers me that a human is capable of such defiance, when I am not. Before the twins came to Elfhame, I had thought humans were all weak, they do not compare to fae. Sometimes Jude makes me question all my beliefs, so how can I not hate her?

Is Locke angry with us? Or is he going to take advantage of the situation to look kind in Jude’s eyes as he takes care of her sister, and then help her out of the river?

“Leave.” I tell them.

Valerian hisses, he clearly wanted to watch Jude die out of cold or drowned, but he turns to leave anyways. Nicasia gives me an interrogation look, but follows, and Locke walks away as well. I stare at Taryn, a remind of her promise to not help Jude. She glances at her sister, but leaves too. Jude would never leave Taryn behind.

“You don’t want them to witness as you kill me?”, she asks.

Her lips are tuning purple. A flash of the memory of Jude in that lake with my sister and her sisters invades me, and I growl to get rid of it. She doesn’t flinch. I hold out my hand.

“Come, I have had enough”

“What is the trick?”, Jude frowns.

“None. Come on! Or do you enjoy freezing?”

Jude stares, reading me. I relax my face, maybe she will be faster if I show boredom. Finally, she reaches out to me, and grabs my hand. But it _is_ Jude. She pulls me and I fall into the river. I am so surprised that I even swallow water. As I try to recover my senses, and rub the water out of my eyes, I glimpse Jude trying to run from the river. But I am faster, and grab her, throwing her back far from shore.

“Are you insane?”, I ask her, and there is this humorous thing inside my stomach.

Her eyes are full with hatred, and I am loving it.

“You dropped me first, I just felt it was so good, that I thought you should have a dive in as well!”

Her lies are great. I would take her brave words more seriously, but her foot fails her, and Jude falls under water. In reflex, I reach for her, and now we are standing with our bodies touching, my arm on her waist. Jude looks at me, confused. I am confused too. I can feel her heart beating, fast. Was it because she nearly drowned? Was she afraid of me? Her eyes wander my lips. _This is new_.

“Can’t we just get off the river and call it a day?”, she asks.

Her full lips moving as she speaks. What did they taste like?

“Yes, I should go home”

But there comes a waterspout, and we are taken. I hope she knows to hold her breath, because that is pretty much all we can do as we are driven away in the river. My arm is locked in her waist so I don’t lose her, and the other tries to swim. We might have been dragged for about ten minutes, and since Jude is moving, she is alive. The water calms down, and I pull us up, taking Jude with me to the riverbank. We are both coughing water, and we fall to our knees, tired. I catch my breath faster than she, and throw myself to the ground, lying down and enjoying breathing. If I had let Jude go, she might have been lost for good. It would not be my fault exactly. She could also have survived on her own. But I didn’t want to bet if she would survive, my body just went ahead and tried its best to keep her close and alive.

Our eyes meet. Her hair and clothes are dripping wet. I cannot stop myself and start laughing. I laugh so hard that my belly aches. Jude is laughing too, and it takes me by surprise. Her body is contorting as she laughs, and its sounds amusing.

“What was that?!” she asks, her laughing dying but the grin remains with humor.

“Worst prince helping act ever”, I tell her. “It is funnier because I am an actual prince”

“agreed!”, Jude squeezes her hair trying to get the water out.

I get up and shake my head, throwing water everywhere.

“Hey!”, she calls me, and I laugh at her.

Jude wrinkles her nose, but this time she is joking that she is offended. There is this foolish feeling growing in my belly, and I cannot name it.

“Lets walk by the riverbank to find our way back”, I tell her. She hesitates, but nods.

We walk in awkward silence. All the anger that I had been feeling these days seemed to have been washed away in the river. My clothes are bothering me, clinging to my body, and her gown must be heavy, but I will not suggest for us to undress. Just the thought of it makes me shudder.

“Are you willing to give up now?”, I ask. But there is no mockery in my voice. I glance at her, so she sees that I am not picking up a fight.

“You wish.”

“I do, actually. It could be reason enough for you to do so”

“As if”

Jude is serious again. But that steals a smile from me.

“What are you trying to achieve? You could play your life like Taryn does, instead of trying to get under my skin”

“Just because we look the same, does not mean we think the same. I could be like her, but that is not the life I want for me”, she doesn’t look at me.

“So you’d rather keep getting under my skin”

“Of course”, I lift my browns, but see the humor in her smirk. Lies. “I spend day and night planning on how to get under your skin. All I wish to do is to get prince Cardan’s attention!”

My name leaving her mouth provokes a twist on my guts, even out of debauchery. We are back to the beginning, and we stop to look at each other. I have to take control over me, over this strange situation that we put ourselves into. Jude’s gaze is too at easy now, and it gives me an idea. I brush a finger knuckle under her chin, briefly, her eyes widen and her peace is gone.

“I will be waiting for your attempts, brave Jude”, and leave her behind.

\--

Later on, Valerian and Nicasia show up at Hollow Hall. Valerian is holding on a bottle of nevermore, wearing all shades of purple, with feathers on his shoulders. Nicasia is wearing a blue gown that is easy to access every part of her body. Somehow, I do not feel much interested in that. Maybe Nicasia choosing Locke over me had pissed me off enough to turn me off. I grab a bottle of wine and we leave Hollow Hall talking loud and laughing. We go straight to Locke’s maze, and there are two fae with instruments – an ukulele, and a harmonica. There is a pixie naked, kissing a fae with deer feet, and a small group of three boys and two girls chatting. They wave their hands inviting us. I know most of them. It is Gullveig with his long straight black hair loose, and two little horns; Ariadne with her red fabulous lips, red hair and yellow eyes; Orias with his short white hair and bluish skin, arm around Muirgen’s shoulder, a guy with green skin and moth wings.

“Hey guys, this is Elvey”, Gullveig points out to the girl I don’t know.

She is skinny, brown hair and two horns. If I get too drunk, I might go for her. We start drinking and chatting, so a bottle goes fast. Nicasia gets up.

“I am going to find us more!”

She wants to find Locke.

“I will help you, sweet Nic!”, Valerian gets up.

Nicasia looks at me, asking for help. If she gets to find Locke, she will want Valerian gone. I shrug and get up. We make some turns in the maze, and I start hearing someone moaning. Valerian’s face is full with malice, and Nicasia is uncertain if she wants to keep on walking, but Valerian is already making the turn. My heart stop beating when I follow him, frozen in shock and some kind of pain. Locke is pinning Jude against the shrub, leaves all over them, his hand under the skirt of her dress, provoking her to make sweet sounds. Her hands are griping his shoulders, and his mouth is in her ear. Then I note she has all of her fingers intact, and that is not Jude, but Taryn. Whining for more of his touch.

“We have been caught!”, Locke laughs in her ear, as his fox eyes fixes on mine.

Taryn startles, eyes wide open. She looks embarrassed, but does not look away. Taryn finds confidence in being with Locke, or is she pretending to be Jude? It could be both.

“Which sister is this?” Valerian asks.

Locke laughs. Part of me is relieved that I am not the only one that feels attraction towards a human body. Locke did say that he wanted a taste of their curves. Perhaps other faeries also feel attraction towards a human. I can count on some arrangements, Madoc did, for instance. I know my father did as well, and all those that bring humans to revels so they can mate. My problem however is not just finding a human attractive, but all the times that I had envied Jude with her family, or when I caught myself admiring her.

“You don’t need to know”

“Your words mean that she knows that you are playing her sister as well”, I hiss.

“What if we tell the other?”, Nicasia tries to sound mean, but I can hear a crackle in her voice. She is upset, and Locke knows it. I feel like he is trying to play me with this game.

“It is not like we can, we did promise him we would not tell anyone about it”, Valerian reminds her. “Although, if she is doing this, she won’t bother if we get to tease her sister as well. We just have to find out who this is”

“Taryn”, I tell them. And regret instantly, since it means Valerian will torment Jude even more from now on. “We want to grab more wine, lets take it and leave these two, they were getting to the good part!”

Valerian helps me grab more wine, we hold a bottle in each hand, and Nicasia follows us back to the maze. We drink and dance, then Valerian lets us drink his bottle of Nevermore, and Nicasia starts kissing Gullveig. Locke and Taryn join us, her hair is a mess. She does not look at me, but is not shrinking in fear. Maybe Jude knew better than keep flirting with Locke. She had been in the river so her sister could leave unharmed, maybe Taryn had told her about Locke. I shouldn’t worry.

\--

As the classes goes on I watch Locke stealing glances at the twins again. Nicasia clearly has been crying with these reddened eyes. Do both of the twins know about each other? Are the three of them a thing? No. As I keep watching, Locke flirts only with Jude, and Taryn tries to look away every time she notices him doing so. By the end of lessons I am so mad at Locke, Nicasia and Taryn, that I need to learn what is going on. I pull Taryn by her arm to a circle of thorn trees, and she is afraid of me now. I feel good about it.

“Does Jude know about you and Locke?”

“It is none of your business!”, Taryn glares at me, but looks away, as if she could run for it to escape me.

“You know Nicasia, me and Valerian are picking on her because of that, right? Tormenting Jude because we thought that Locke was with her. And All this time you knew it, and you let us keep doing it!”

“You don’t know a thing!”, Taryn is angry, I bet she wants to punch me or call me names, but she is not Jude, so she won’t.

“I cannot fathom what Locke sees in you...”

Then she meets my eyes, offended. I can see all the dots in her face that are different from Jude’s, how Taryn’s eyes have a slightly lighter shade of brown. Taryn aways acted quitely, afraid to drawn attention that would make the fae bully her, but she seem to think as if she could become one of us if she acted like so.

“Oh, I think I can see it now – _you are awful_!”, I laugh in disbelief.

I think I hit the spot, because she starts crying. And before I say anything else, I am being shoved towards one of the trees. Rage consumes me and my eyes meet Jude’s.

“I don’t know what you said to her, but don’t you ever go near my sister again”, she tells me. Her hand over my velvet doublet. “You gave her your word!”

Jude’s laughing face seems like a dream I had long ago. She hates me. And I hate her as well. She is defending her sister with such vehemence that I do not believe Jude knows about Taryn and Locke.

“Oh, you’re going to regret doing that”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, did you liked it?
> 
> I like to imagine Cardan and Jude laughing, like all the walls were gone in an instant, and I like to imagine what it provokes inside them to watch one another in this kind of situation. They carry so much weight inside themselves, that I wish to bring more happiness to them.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had the whole idea for this fic when I listened to "Landfill - Daughter", and while writing this chapter I kept the song on repeat.

[Cardan’s POV]

Jude had me pinned against a tree with everyone watching. As if no one could touch her, as if she would head on anyone who tried. That was not brave, that was stupidity! I am a prince! Even if Jude never feared me, she must have known that there was a limit! But no, she had to go and defend her shitty sister. At least I feel pleasure in that, for her sister’s love is not so much different from the love of a brother that I know. I write her name unconsciously. Once. And stare at it. My handwriting is a kiss. I write it again. Who was she? What happened to the daring eyes that were my secret friend? I hate her. Why would I want to be her friend? Why would I want to laugh with her again? Be close to her and...

I remember holding her waist, Jude’s eyes on my lips. I feel a throb between my legs that repulses me. It is not because she is a human anymore, but because it is Jude, that is what disgusts me. I stare at the paper, now her name is there repeatedly, changing sizes from a kiss to something more murderous. Kiss Jude Duarte, what am I thinking again? I put the paper inside this book – _Alice in wonderland_. I can see the irony in that. It is almost dawn and the tournament will be soon. Of course Jude will be there. My steps are lazy as I walk to turn off the lights. I put my robe hanging on my chair and dive in my bed. I cannot escape her in my dreams. We were on the river, she was in my arms, naked. It was a matter of leaning, and our mouths met. I was inside her, and her face was more vivid in this dream. Possibly because I had seem Taryn’s face in pleasure and Jude could be something of the same. I wake in sweat and hard. Why must I dream of her? It does not matter now.

My hand does a good job and I keep thinking of Jude and how I would bed her. I recall her eyes on mine, her laughing, her strength. It would be good if she begged me. My name in her voice. I do not stop, until I do, panting, dirty, hating.

\--

The tournament was ridiculous. I hate her, I hate Jude! And Balekin.

“You were a deception in that tournament”, he said to me once I sat beside him. “You humiliate me when you lose to a mortal like that”.

Great. Leave me to rot somewhere, dear brother, or kill me at once so you won’t have me humiliating you around Elfhame! Alas, do I have to beg you for your love now? I was punished later on. A prince shouldn’t be weak, and if took a beating to toughen me up, my brother would kindly do so. My head is a mess, I am furious. I never thought a human could be that tough, not just physically embarrassing me, but Jude threatened me afterwards instead of asking for forgiveness. Balekin is angry that I had lost to a mortal, I am furious that Jude might think she is better than me, enough to not fear me. No one defies a prince of Elfhame like that and walk unpunished.

And now Valerian is pining her, choking her with everapple in the middle of our lesson. Is he stupid? Kill Madoc’s daughter? Fuck him, I am so angry that I would appreciate to watch Valerian getting punished for this. On the other hand, I will not allow Jude dying in front of me. I kick him away, he accuses me of being no fun, and I throw away Jude’s salt to buy him, so he won’t think anything out of my saving the girl. I fucking hate her. Oh no. No, no, no, no. Jude is taking her dress off now. Right in front of all this fae. And yet, I cannot move now, enticed by her drunk undressing.

She is wearing hideous undergarments, and they cover exactly her most delicate female parts. As she changes the weight in her legs, her breasts sways slightly, looking so soft to be touched. If she is beautiful like us? No, far from that. Beautiful, nonetheless. I am taken by the play.

“No, Jude will come here and kiss my foot. She said she wanted to kiss us. And I am her prince, after all”

Jude laughs. Shame on you Cardan, for playing her like this. Jude is not herself now, you should be better than this. But they are looking, and I have to keep being cruel.

“Well? Be quick about it. Kiss my foot and tell me how great I am. Tell me how much you admire me”.

“Enough”, Locke cuts me through. “I am taking her home. I hate it when you get like this”

 _Like this_ how? Taking what you want from you and stepping on it so it suffers, because its pain tastes good? I won’t let Jude go like this, so I grab a pin from my coat and pierce her thumb. And she does as I thought she would, sucking on her blood, which has salt.

“Have a nice walk home”, I tell her, and watch her go with him.

There. Go with him so you can kiss each other. I feel like she is the one stepping over me.

\--

I try to avoid Jude now that she returned to classes. On the other hand, Locke is more open about his ogling towards her. Sometimes I see Taryn almost lose it and start crying, but she shakes her head and returns to do whatever she was doing. Today is no different from that. My back still hurts from my last beating. Fuck Balekin. On my way back to Hollow Hall, I take a detour to the lake, strip right there and jump to the cold water. Its temperature is a kind kiss in my skin, soothing my bruises from the beating. I float staring the stars, not looking for prophecies, just appreciating the view. Silent tears leaves me. Nicasia betrayed me, my brother was punishing me for being all my family always told that I was – a cruel kid, and Locke had Jude. I submerge the water and swim a little, and when I stand up, I must have been thinking too much about her, so now I am delusional. Jude Duarte is gazing at me between the trees.

“Jude?”

She blinks, and blushes. Fuck, she is really here! But before I get too happy thinking that she was watching me naked because she felt attacked by it, I remember that Jude is not like me.

“Are you thinking about taking my clothes and run for it? Because if you do that, know that I am going to run after you like the naked perverted that I am”

“You were crying”

Fuck. She saw that too. But I will not back down. Instead, I swim to the lake shore, and start dressing as she watches.

“What do you want?”, I ask her.

“Nothing, actually I was going home. I heard someone, and when I looked, I saw you crying”, she chooses now to be honest.

“Carry on-“ I cut myself off as we hear noises.

Jude’s eyes narrow, and she crouches a little, as if she could be able to fight whoever showed up. Odd girl. But she looks at me, and seems troubled. Right, I am a prince, she must find it troublesome to have to protect me from any danger she thinks we are in. Decided, Jude grabs my hand and pulls me so we hide between shrubs. It is Valerian with some girl. Jude relaxes her shoulders. Who was she thinking that would appear? If we get out now, it will be strange. Valerian will think that I am kissing her. We wait, but they keep this intense necking. Jude is avoiding meeting my eyes perhaps she is conscious of me. It would not surprise me, she just saw me naked, and now we are watching two people in improving heat. Even if she hates me differently than I hate her, she is not immune to arousal.

What surprises me though are my actions, that I give a light blow to her ear. What am I thinking? And Jude shudders. _That was new_ , again. She turns to glare at me, with anger, and I grin. Valerian’s hand is between the girl’s legs, and she is being loud.

“Cardan...”

I am paralyzed. What? Jude is surprised too, and we both look at Valerian. He stopped, furious at the girl in his arm. Then he chokes her. My body is heavy, my mouth feels full of sand. Am I even breathing? The girl's eyes are out of orbit, her skin that was pale is turning into purple. She tries to get rid of his hands, but she is too weak. I have to stop him, but I don’t. Numb. Valerian leaves the body and run for it. My body is shaking in terror, not afraid of Valerian, but in stupor for his morbidity. I startle at Jude’s hand on my shoulder, her eyes just as wide as mine.

“We have to do something, tell someone”, I say. She is surprised with my words, but nods.

“Did you know her?”

“No”

“But she...”

“Jude, lets not discuss that, ok?” I am still shaking. But I try to recover my usual self. “From what I know, most of fae _and humans_ in Elfhame want a piece of me. You can pleasure yourself thinking of another just fine.”

As I get up trying to be resolute, I fail, stumbling, and Jude helps to stay firm. Odd. But not quite so. Jude had seen Madoc kill her parents, so she was capable of recovering the shock faster. I approach the body to check, just in case. I don’t even have to touch it. Her eyes almost out of her face, wild, dead. We get to walking, Jude steals glances at me, checking if I am going to pass out or retch.

“But Hollow Hall...”, she understands that I am going with her to Madoc’s estate.

“Your home is closer, and Madoc can send someone to take care of the body. He will know what to do, about telling the girl’s family and such... Fuck Valerian!”

Jude frowns, but does not reply. We bump into Madoc as soon as we enter the house. I have been here just once, long ago, accompanying Balekin. It is different from what I remember, looks more like what I though a family home would be like, than his general looking house from before. It is cozy and warm. Taryn is sitting in a couch knitting with Oriana. The little brother appears from behind Oriana’s couch, spying on me. Taryn looks from me to Jude, then back to me. I give her a smug smirk, and her eyes flashes with surprise. Madoc is looking at me, and my smirk is gone, because I remember why I am here.

Oriana makes Taryn get up, and they curtsy.

“What do we own the honor of Prince Cardan’s visit?”, Madoc’s brow is up, he looks at Jude as if she was not the one he expected to bring a man home.

“And you are soaked wet, my prince!” Oriana is horrified by the thought that I might not have been treated with enough politeness.

“We saw a murder, and I thought we could use your position to deal with the situation”, I tell Madoc, and Oriana’s face goes paler.

Madoc accepts my answer better than I think he would if I were to be Jude’s man.

“It was Valerian”, Jude tells him. “the body is by the lake. We didn’t touch her”

“Stay here” Madoc tells me. “Oriana will find something for you to change on, and I will settle the matter. Wait for my return, so if we do or do not find Valerian, you will have to report the murder. Your word might have more weight than Jude’s”

Because she is human.

“Sure”, I shrug.

Madoc gives me a last glare, then leaves the house. Oriana goes to a servant, asking to prepare a room for me.

“Jude’s room is fine by me”

They all go quite. Jude’s eyes are trying to kill me, and I give her a grin.

“Are you sure? We do have a spare room...”, Oriana tries, but stops talking, realizing that I won’t change my mind.

So she sends the servant to prepare Jude’s tub with warm water and deliver some clothes for me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like it? Did you? Did you? Tell me your thoughts! 
> 
> :D


	4. Chapter 4

[Jude’s POV]

I watch Cardan enter my bedroom, still feeling dumbfounded for the whole thing. I cannot pick which of the things that I have been through today is the weirdest.

“You should take more care of your things”, he says, as he evaluates the room.

I was not expecting a visit from any prince into my chambers, so yes, my room is a mess. It always is, because I like it this way. Is where I get to be me and it is all ok to do so.

“The guest room is cleaner, you can use it”, I tell him.

He turns to me and grins. He has been grinning ever since we arrived Madoc’s estate, and to include in the weirdest list things of my night, I think the meanings of his grins changes every time he does it. He mocked me, used irony, was pleased, enjoying himself, and this one seems very much like a happy one. Odd, since we saw someone die, and just before he was crying all alone floating naked in a lake.

“Is this the way to the bath?”, he points to the door.

He will not back down. Why? Why is he doing it? If he hates me so much, why is he getting near me? I sigh.

“Yes. I will leave the room. I don’t even have to say ‘make yourself comfortable’, since you already did”

He laughs. Cardan. Laughs. I saw it before. I have seen him laughing with his friends, but that day when we almost died in the river, and laughed at each others face, Cardan laughed as if he was free of any weight he might ever carry. Like a child’s happy laugh. I was stunned by it, and I nearly thought we could call truce, and stop this hating. But he went after Taryn, and I remembered that it was Cardan. He turns to go to the restroom, and I leave my own room, closing the door behind. There is no time to breath, Taryn is right here, staring me with a crazy look in her face. I can read all her thoughts written over her face.

“What just happened?”, her whisper is almost a high peak scream.

“You heard”, I tell her. “We saw someone being murdered, and thought about having Madoc’s help. Can I bathe in your room? I do not trust him to stay out, and I don’t want to use the tub right after him”

She agrees. While I bathe, Taryn keeps there asking me questions that I cannot answer. What was I doing to meet Cardan? How it begun?

Long story. But I can make it short for you.

The day I had won the tournament was another weird day. Locke had shown interest in me, I survived Cardan’s fury, and I had oath myself under prince Dain. Now I am from the Court of Shadows, with shadow spies that train me and send me tasks – the Ghost, the Bomb and the Roach. Oh, and I got a geas, that allows me not to get enchanted by any glamour command, except for prince Dain’s. It does not work on everapple, which is a pity, because right after, Valerian made me eat one of those and all the gentry that I take classes with got to mock me and command me. But if Taryn was asking about tonight, I was working as Dain spy, and had stole a letter from a spy of a low court. I was running back home when I saw Cardan by the lake. His nudity was astonishing, but then I realized he was crying.

When we heard someone approaching, I thought it was that spy that I was running from, and it would be terrible to leave prince Cardan there to find out in this crazy situation that I was a spy. The letter was still hidden in my dress, on the floor, by Taryn’s feet. But she is more concentrated in her curiosity about Cardan.

“Are you two a thing?”, she asks as I get off the tub. “Do you not like Locke anymore?”

“Chill Taryn!”, I dry myself and enter her room. She follows me. “It was a coincidence to meet Cardan there”

I choose one of her dresses to borrow. A light blue one that does not show much of my breast. I get back to her bath chamber to fetch my dirty dress and stop by the door, to give her a reassured look.

“You know he won’t try to be funny inside Madoc’s estate”, then I leave her.

It is strange to knock my own door, but I do it anyways.

“I am dressed”, Cardan says with a presumptuous voice.

I enter and close the door behind me. Cardan is lying on my bed, with an oversize shirt and oversize trouser, tied by his waist, bare feet. He left all his jewelry by my desk, even his golden circlet. I take my dress to a corner, where I can remember to fetch the hidden letter later, but his judging eyes make me start collecting all my clothes spread through the room, and take them to the dirty clothes basket in the bath chamber. There, without him watching me, I take the letter and my knifes, and hide them underneath a shelf. I get back and meet his eyes. There is no mockery or usual scowl.

“You can lay here with me. The bed is not that big, but I am sure we can both fit”, his smirk is back.

I am not sure what to make out of his words. Anyhow, I don’t want to keep standing, so I sit at my chair by the desk.

“This is weird”, I blurt out.

“I think so too”

“Sit, you are letting my pillow wet with your hair”

His eyes narrow, but he obeys. Cardan sits crossing legs and hugging the pillow. Some of his curls are stuck in his forehead. I could think that this lazy Cardan sitting in my bad, with over sized clothes, is attractive. My cheeks flush, and I force myself not to look away, or he will know what I am thinking.

“I know humans are different from faeries, and I thought you would be more traumatized by seeing someone die”, he starts. “But then again, you saw your parents die, so today was not much of a thing”

“You were a scared cat”, I test him.

“The thought that I have a heart is fun for you?” Cardan smiles, a sad one.

“If I was not afraid then, I would have saved her”, I confess. “But I think that you were more scared than me. And I am not mocking you”

Cardan examines my face, then nods.

“Were you going to receive Locke tonight?”

My brows go up. People have such silly questions, out of nowhere.

“No, I was not planning that. Why?”

“Pity. It would be fun for him to find me here”, his mischievous smile makes something in my guts twist. Then Cardan is serious again. “Why did you hide us?”

Oh, he would ask that.

“I don’t know, instinct”

“Oh, are you stopping being sincere now? Then I will have to suspect you of being some kind of spy or something! Wait- Jude... You just gave me the face that I hit it right” Cardan is leaning forward, as if he could decrease the distance between us by doing so. His dark eyes are so intensely gazing me, that I find it hard to breathe.

“What is your game, Cardan?”, I ask instead, trying to take over the control of the conversation. “Ok, you came over so you would report to Madoc about the murderer. But why come to my room? Why imply anything to Oriana and Taryn? Why act as if we can have a nice chat, after what you have done to me? And to my sister? And now you want me to be honest with you? As if you would trust anything I say. I could say right now, yes Cardan, I am a spy and have been working to destroy you. Would you believe it?”

My breathing is uneven, a whirlwind of feelings that I cannot distinguish. Cardan is still leaning, evaluating me. He turns his face, and relaxes his shoulders. His long fingers play distractedly at the tip of the pillow.

“Would it be alright if I told you that _I don’t know_?” our eyes meet. Cardan is in my room, in my bed. This is hard to believe. “I don’t know if I would believe anything you could say, until you do. And there are the faces that you make, that make me trust your word or not. About what I am implying or what is my game... I am not playing anything. That is not me”, he gives me a weak laugh, as some intern joke. “Sounds like planning, which would take effort, and that is not me”

“If not a game, what then?”

“A truce?”, he grins.

“What, again?”, I repeat.

His smile is like a punch to my face. Is genuine, full of teeth. I have never seen it.

“I feel good. It was absolute creep to watch someone choking by the hands of a friend, but overall, I feel good. And you, Jude?”

What? I can’t believe him. Not that he feels good, but that he is saying so. There is a knock on the door.

“Come in!”, I say.

Vivienne jumps in with eyes wide open, as her mouth. Taryn is right behind, with Oak trying to pass them both. He sneaks them and runs to my lap, and I can’t help but laugh at him.

“Cardan!”

“Vivienne!”, he imitates her tone.

“I couldn’t believe Taryn when she told me that you were here!”

“I would not have believed her either”, he laughs to Vivi, but I feel like he just threw a knife at Taryn.

“Are you two together?”, Oak asks. “Are you going to be a princess, Jude?”

My dear brother that will speak every little thought. I want to squeeze him for asking, and I do, but not in a hurting way.

“I don’t believe your sister dreams of that”, Cardan answers, laughing. “Maybe nightmares?”, he glances at me, and I am not sure if he can fake hope.

“Only yours”, I tell him. And there is a glow in his eyes that gives me a shiver.

Vivi comes in and sits by Cardan’s side.

“So are we going to have a sleepover? We could see if Rhya could come! Would Madoc be mad at us? If it gets under his nerves, then I am so up to it!”

“Do you like to play Cardan?”, Oak is excited as well. “We could play until we go to sleep! I am very good at playing lots of games”

“We don’t know when Madoc is returning, so go get some of your games and we can start playing!” Vivi tells Oak, and he jumps out of my lap happily.

“So did you get her?”, Cardan asks Vivi. “Did you get the mortal girl that you were going after?”

Vivi blushes for a second. They look like old friends. Vivi was mad at the possibility that my classmates where doing terrible things to me and Taryn, but since Cardan is sitting in my bed, maybe she is assuming that we are all passed that. Sometimes I think Vivi is quite naive. But right now, I am fascinated by this disturbing scenario, where Cardan is being friendly. Vivi tells him all about Heather and comic books. Oak gets back and pushes Taryn in, that were still standing by the door. She is the least comfortable with Cardan’s presence. Maybe it is about what he has said to her before, and she won’t tell me. The thing that made her cry by the end of a lesson.

Oak explains to Cardan how that game works. We go about three rows and Madoc comes to my door. He asks for all of us to get down to the living room. Oak is upset to stop playing, but Cardan puts Oak over his shoulders, and fallows Madoc. That took my heart a whole new style of beating, and a twisting in my belly. The cruel prince is being kind to my little brother.

We all sit and drink tea and eat cheese with oatcake.

“It appears that the girl that was killed was already sentenced to death by the Unseelie court, and she was running away. So whoever had killed her, was taken as paying services to the Court, and at that, it does not matter what Valerian has done”, Madoc tells us. “I have not accused him, because if I did, I would have to tell how I know about it. I thought it would be wise to keep quite, so Valerian will not go after Jude for witnessing this”

I like that Madoc did not mention any worries towards Cardan.

“With that, we all here must swear to not tell anyone that we know of this murder”, he looks us in the eyes.

Oriana is the first to promise, Oak follows imitating her. Then me and Vivi, Madoc, Taryn and Cardan. 

“Can we go back playing? Will Cardan sleep here?”

Oriana is offended that Oak is not being polite calling the prince only by his first name. Madoc looks at me.

“Jude can decide it”

And not “if the prince wishes so”. Cardan seems distracted, however he gets up and turn to Madoc.

“I appreciate your work to discover about the dead girl, general Madoc. If she were to have a loving family such as yours, even if she was a fugitive, her caring family would have been worried sick to know her whereabouts. Now, if you can excuse me, I shall take my boots in Jude’s room and return to Hollow Hall.” He turns to Oak, that is making quite the pouting face. “But if little Oak wishes to play again sometime, I would love to try more games!”

Oak giggles, and hides behind Oriana. I get up to accompany him to my room, and watch him as he puts on his boots. Cardan walks towards me, a distance that seems like dangerous to me, yet I do not know why.

“Jude”

“Cardan”

He gives me a smug smirk.

“You look nice in blue”, he takes my hand and kisses it, then leaves the room and I stay here, astonished. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea was to make it cozy, and keep Cardan's smug face. I thought it would be a good environment to build up their friendship.
> 
> I hope I have not disappointed you!  
> Tell me your thoughts :D
> 
> I will post more chapters by Friday, I think. Have a good week!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there!  
> If you like to listen to something while reading, to this chapter I recommend "Elastic Heart"/Sia.
> 
> This chapter was beta-read by the awesome Aida, which I am really thankful for <3

[Cardan’s POV]

Walking home gave me time to process my night. One thing for sure is that Valerian is capable of doing what I thought he was capable of, and it was not reassuring. Yet, he does not know that I saw him, how the girl called out my name while he was caressing her. How he hated it, enough to kill her. Was this a recurring event? The idea that a person would envision me while having sex with another is disturbing. Especially since this particular incident led to murder. It is not like I make myself unavailable either.

That was the easy part to process. Now, I have to contend with the fact that Jude Duarte saw me naked. Jude Duarte saw me crying. I took a bath in Jude Duarte’s tub and had to find deep, inner strength so that I would not masturbate thinking of Jude’s naked body. I was lying down in Jude Duarte’s bed, completely enveloped in her sweet herbaceous scent, which brought forth feelings. Perhaps I shouldn’t process it, and just go on, take what I can get and not over think it.

\--

I am sitting on a blanket with Nicasia and Valerian during our lunch break. Valerian is acting as if nothing is amiss, and maybe I am getting paranoid, but I swear I can feel him glaring at me sometimes. Thinking back, he always did, I just never paid attention to it.

“Locke’s game is getting boring” he tells us. “Shouldn’t we play something?”

“Leave them be”, I say. They both give me a wary look.

“What, you don’t hate the twins anymore?”, Nicasia sneers.

“I do hate them. But I am not bored enough to devote my life to ruining theirs. Balekin is throwing a party in Hollow Hall tonight. You guys coming?”

Valerian smiles.

“So instead of thinking about the twins, you want to think about getting laid. Fair enough”

He does not know, however, that thinking about one does not exclude the other. Lately they are interchangeable. I lift a brow and smirk. There is this idea buzzing in my head. Which leads me to the twins’ blanket. Locke is running his hand over his hair and I feel like rolling my eyes. Instead, I turn to them:

“Come to Hollow Hall later, you three. Invite Vivienne as well”

“A party?” Locke seems enthusiastic about it.

My brother usually allows me to invite friends to his parties, and we get to drink, eat and dance as we do at palace revels. Sometimes Balekin does terrible things to his humans servants as entertainment for his guests. He raised me with the concept that humans are inferior and deserve to suffer. They are mortals, easy to hurt, easy to die. Despite it all, humans don’t know their place. They live in their world ignoring that they are inferior beings, and the fae would do well to remind them what their rightful place is.

Nevertheless, I hate it when Balekin tortures humans at his parties. I have hated it ever since I realized that humans have thoughts and feelings of their own, even if I thought they were inferior. For a time now, since the day Jude ate that everapple, I don’t think that they are inferior anymore; they are just different from fae. Tonight was one of Balekin’s more peaceful parties, he even invited our other siblings.

“Will you come?”, I look at them, taking a second longer in Jude’s eyes.

“Do you promise that you will behave?”, Locke asks me, laughing.

“I shall behave my best”, I grin at him.

On the way back to the palace, I stop to invite some other fae that are nice to have around at parties. I spend the rest of the lessons thinking about possible ways to make Jude find out about Locke and Taryn, without actually telling her.

\--

Balekin is dragging me around his party with his arm over my shoulder. He is drunk, laughing loudly and periodically regaling his guests of my failures. However, tonight I just laugh along. There is this pixie woman, bluish skin and black curly hair, that gives me the opportunity to escape my brother once her hands caress his chest. The whole place is full of fae, with human servants working their best to keep the wine within our reach. One servant fills my cup, and a hand comes to my arm.

“Vivienne told me about your friendship to her sister”, Rhya says. “I was surprised, since it is you. Your background does not favor you, brother”

“Are you willing to give me advice, then?”, I grin.

“To give you advice, I would need more information. Care to tell me more about it?”

“Nah, you would not understand. So, do you want to dance with me?”

Rhya laughs, but nods. We approach the musicians where the music is louder, and we dance together. I like dancing with my sister, she knows all the moves but as we are brother and sister, our dancing focuses less upon skill, and more upon stepping on the others’ toes. The next song starts, even more upbeat than before, and as we jump and exchange light kicks to each other’s feet, Vivienne shows up and joins us. Vivienne, too, opts for amusement over convention, as do Rhya and I, and the three of us are in stitches.

If Vivienne is here, it means Jude must have arrived as well. Why am I anxious? Why do I want to be Jude’s friend? Just because she was brave enough to stand up to me? I hate that I am like this, but this new side is overtaking me. I finish my wine and bow to Rhya and Vivienne, leaving them to find more wine.

“Locke is with one of the twins, dancing”, Nicasia tells me in a snarl. “I thought you had invited them so we could see them hurt”

She is wearing a red velvet dress, that exposes her entire back. Her diadem has delicate shells and pearls. Nicasia is, as ever, beautiful. And even if some times she acts like the spoiled princess that she is, it is nice to talk to her. She shouldn’t have problems finding someone good.

“Find someone else, Nicasia. Why Locke?”

“I told you why! He made me see a new me, one that I thought I could not be. You know how Locke is, he knows how to make stories where you get to be powerful”

I roll my eyes.

“Yes, but he does not want you. Find someone who does!”

“You mean you?”, she gives me a shy smile.

“No, I mean someone who wants you. You know how I felt when you chose to leave me, so lets not get into that talk now. You said we could be friends, so lets be friends. I am telling you to find another, because I care for you, and do not wish to see you weep. Locke is a player, you know that!”

She looks like I slapped her, she is so offended by my words. However, she nods. Nicasia takes my wine from my hand, and drinks it, then gives me back an empty cup. She gives me her best seductive smile, and leaves me. My eyes wander the hall, and I find Locke dancing with Jude. They hold hands while they dance, Jude is laughing, having fun with him. Jude is wearing a pink gown with black lace. There are two braids that intertwine each other to form a low bun at the back of her head. Her dress sways as she waltz. Jude might have felt my gaze, because she lifts her head searching, until she finds me. Her brows go up and I approach the couple. I reach Locke and whisper in his ear:

“If you want to, all the guest rooms are open”

Then I wink at him, and Locke bites his lower lip with the possibility that I am giving him. I look at Jude, and smile at her. There is an odd look on her face, and she seems pale.

“Maybe you should change partners. Is Taryn around? I bet she would love to dance with Locke!”

I follow Jude’s gaze, and find her sister watching us from a group of the gentry from our classes. I wave my hand, inviting her. Hesitantly, Taryn approaches us, and lifts a brow in question.

“Would you change places with Jude? She seems a bit pale to keep dancing. Unless you would prefer Jude to keep dancing. In that case, would you dance with your prince?”, I choose each word carefully.

Taryn looks at Locke, troubled.

“Don’t tease my sister!” Jude demands, but her voice is a gasp, weak.

“It is ok”, Taryn says. “You should rest, I will keep you company, Jude!”

“Why? Locke still wants to dance, so keep _him_ company”, I take Jude’s hand, and as I grab her away from the dance floor, I turn to wink at Locke again, as if I was helping him to dance with the girl he was actually after. He winks back, and starts dancing with Taryn. “Do you want a tour?”, I ask Jude. “Maybe some food first”

I drag her to the food table. She evaluates all the contents. Of course, she does not want to end up eating everapple again. My hand was on its way to fetch an apple that Jude could eat, but Jude went for the cheese. There is a bottle of wine with clean acorn cups around it, I pour my cup and serve her as well. Her color is returning to her skin.

“Ready to go?”, I ask her.

“Where?”, her eyes meet mine, confused.

“Walk with me!”

We walk side by side, further into Hollow Hall. I tell Jude about some other parties that were held at Hollow Hall, and when the rooms were all occupied by Balekin’s friends. I show her some guest rooms, tell her about Balekin’s room being boring and show her my chambers.

“Why are you showing me your home?”, she asks, evaluating my room.

“I have been to yours, so I thought it would be polite to show you mine”

“Then you should have invited Vivi and Taryn as well”, Jude gives me a mocking smile.

“Vivienne already knows the place, and Taryn... is busy”

“I thought you hated me more than anyone, but the way you talk about Taryn makes me suspicious of that”, she glances at me.

Then Jude walks to my desk, the first thing that catches her attention is a mortal book, _The_ _Chronicles of Narnia_.

“It is a good book”, she tells me. “Vivi brought us a copy when we were younger”

She is not making fun of it, as I thought she would. Maybe I wanted her to make fun of it, because that is the way I know how to respond.

“Which chronicle do you like best?”, I ask then.

Jude stops to think, then grins.

“I love the beginning of Narnia. The song Aslan sings, in my head it is beautiful!”

Easy like that, we keep talking about the book, and other books, written by humans or fae. She prefers those with action and fighting, I prefer those about love. She finds it odd, and I agree with her, but I try not to be too self depreciating, telling her that perhaps I read about love since I do not live it. The time passes and I don’t even miss drinking wine. I leave my door open, so Jude can walk away anytime she wants to. Instead, Jude leans into my desk, to the point where she is essentially perched on it, while she talks to me, gracing me with her laughter. Someone passes the room, then doubles back to peer into my room. Vivienne seems relieved to find Jude.

“Jude, finally!”

“Has anything happened?” Jude asks, worried.

“You were gone for hours! And I can’t find Taryn either. Have you seen her?”

“Last time I saw her, she was dancing with Locke, near the musicians” Jude answers.

“Do you trust her with Locke?” Vivi asks.

Weird. Did Vivienne knew something?

“Well, he might make her over dance without noticing... Lets go, I will look for her too”

And she leaves with Vivienne, without looking back. Ouch. It is possible that Locke took Taryn to one of the guest rooms as I suggested? I don’t bother to go after Jude. Leaving without a last look left me annoyed. So I walk back to the wine, and dance with strangers and not strangers. Locke finds me, and dances with me as well, drunk, laughing. He definitely gave Taryn passionate kisses, if he had not done more than that. I drink and dance the night away into a delightfully numb oblivion.

When I wake up, I feel an intense thirst. I open my eyes and recognize the ceiling in my room. There are two pixies lying naked on each side of me, asleep. Flashes of the three of us come back to me. As I lay there replaying the lascivious end to my night, I feel a vague sense of satisfaction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, let me know your thoughts about the chapter and the development of the fic ;)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was beta-read by Aida, adding quality to your reading. Thanks Aida <3
> 
> If you wish to listen to something while reading, I recommend -Arctic monkeys/"do I wanna know"-

[Jude’s POV]

Cardan has no idea how convenient it was to invite me to his brother’s party at Hollow Hall. I got to spy in plain sight, paying attention to Balekin’s conversations, and even got to walk around without raising suspicion. As soon as I told Vivi that I would help her find Taryn, we agreed to look for her separately, and to meet by the front door with or without Taryn in a hour. I discovered a study where I found some letters in a hidden drawer from Balekin’s desk, and made copies of all I could get. The Roach praised me once I went to the Court of Shadows to deliver the copies, and that made me feel somewhat proud.

Taryn is still indisposed from the party, so she is not here with me attending classes. She is not the only one facing the consequences of partying hard; I can see Cardan sporadically taking naps, and Locke glances at me as if he is still drunk. Once our lessons come to an end, I take my things and start walking home. Locke appears at my side and kisses my cheek. As we continue walking the path to Madoc’s estate, I realize we are alone now, the palace behind.

“You have to make it up to me, you just disappeared with Cardan yesterday!”

“But I see that you had fun without me”, I smile at him.

“Oh Jude, the way you say it is no good!”, Locke pouts. “It is like you are waiting for me to leave you for another, and because of it you don’t pay much attention to me”

“It is not like you need more attention, Locke.”

He stops me and pulls me towards a tree, pinning me. His fox eyes are staring at my lips with lust, making something deep in my belly heat.

“I don’t have attention enough”, he says, and crashes his mouth in mine.

Locke closes the distance between our bodies, putting his leg between mine, hand on my hip. I hold his shirt by his side, unused to this kind of touch. His tongue explores my mouth, twisting and licking. We keep kissing, then I hold his head lower to kiss his neck. Locke groans, and presses his hardness against my thigh. I have seen many fae naked in revels, have seen others in a lovers embrace, but experiencing it is another thing entirely. And it is not just any faerie, it is Locke. Locke aroused by _me_. This lights up something inside me, and I suck on his neck more, getting him to moan again.

“Is this enough attention?”, I ask in a whisper, then start nipping his ear.

“I will take whatever you are willing to give me”, he says, and kisses my mouth again.

It feels like I have some kind of power over him, and it feels great. But I am exhausted, and want to sleep before sparring with Madoc. I take a step back and try to capture every bit of his delicate face.

“So you are not willing to give me more”

“I am, just not right now”, I kiss him lightly, then he lets me go.

We walk a while more together, Locke is not happy that I denied him, but is talking to me as usual. We part ways, and when I get home, I go straight to bed, sleeping the moment I close my eyes.

I don’t know how much time has passed, and as I slowly wake, I cannot yet find the motivation to move. I recognize the ceiling in my room, the curtains of the open window flowing inside with the breeze, but my face is leaning against something more rigid than my usual pillow, and it has a particularly divine smell. The fabric of this pillow is black and soft, and there is a spot with my drool. I am almost asleep again when it strikes me that I am holding _someone_ , and I know this scent. It is like apple, sweet but not sickening. My hand runs over his body confirming it is not a half conscious hallucination, and I feel muscles.

“Fuck Jude, stop doing that!”, Cardan’s soft voice makes me freeze, and he chuckles idly.

It seems that he is facing the other side, and that I was embracing him like a shell embraces it’s pearl, only I am far smaller than him. I push away from him, and fall from bed with a thud. My arm starts tingling, and now I am full awake. Cardan rolls so he can face me, laughing.

“How did you fall from the bed?”

He is beautiful. Cardan must have left his golden circlet elsewhere, but he is wearing earrings and rings. His black shirt is loose over his brown breeches, and his feet are bare. The dark curls of his hair are a bit messy, and when I meet his eyes, I am suddenly conscious that I had just devoured him with my eyes as he watched. Instead of a smug smirk, he is looking at me with an intense desire simmering in his eyes.

“What are you doing here? How did you get in my bed? What were you thinking?”, I blurt out, getting to my feet.

“Oak invited me to play. As soon as I got home from today’s lessons I received his letter. We played until he fell asleep. I took him to his bed, found my way to your room, and as I was also in need of sleeping, I decided to lay down in your bed.”

“You do realize that does not answer me”

Cardan smug smile is back, and it makes the hair on the back of my neck go up. “do you realize how you are looking at me?”

I swallow.

“No one stopped you from coming to my room?”

“Your sisters are not at home, Oriana let me play with Oak alone, Madoc is not around, no servant will interfere with a prince”, he tells me. “Jude, I really was just going to sleep. You were the one with wandering hands!”

I growl at him, and his eyes flashes with some kind of fascination.

“I just cannot find a reason for you, Cardan, _you_ to think it is a great idea to sneak in my bed, even if all you wanted to do was to sleep!”

“I confess I did not do much of thinking”, Cardan sits, getting annoyed. As if he has the right to do so. This is frustrating. “I don’t know, is this a human boundary? I didn’t want to make you mad”

“Oh for goodness sake, Cardan”, I throw my arms in exasperation, “It is not a human thing! It is you, this one is about you! You hate me, always have, bullied me and now... What is this? You saw that you couldn’t get me to back down by fear, and now you want to sweet talk me? A new strategy to have me by your feet?”

Cardan gets up, and in his furious eyes I think there is a melancholic cold.

“Is no strategy of the kind, Jude”, he is talking calmly, a low tone, but it is the opposite of what he looks like. “If anything, I was expecting your friendship. Oh no”, he cuts me off before I get to respond to this absurdity, “No, you do not get to judge my choice of friendship. Have you not noted who I am friends with? I have a murderer friend, a friend that broke my heart, and another that intermittently tries to manipulate me into some game just for fun. So yes, I was not nice to you for a long time, nor were you nice to me. That is not enough of a reason for me to discard you as a friend after the bizarre moments that we shared, especially these last two months. If it consoles you, I get to hate myself too, from time to time”

The anger that we are feeling is almost palpable.

“It is not that you were not nice, Cardan. You were _cruel_ ”

He sighs.

“I will not sneak into your bed if you do not wish for me to do so, but will you avoid me if I talk to you without being cruel?”

I want to ask what would he talk about then, if all Cardan knows is cruelty. But we have talked before: when we almost died in that river, in his house, in this house, and when he played games with my siblings and I.

“No, I won’t”, I answer. If he wishes to talk, I will not childishly avoid him. And if he were boring, I could always say so.

“Would it displease you if I came here again to play games with Oak?”

“Oak would hate me if I say something against your playtime together”, I say, and shake my head at the thought.

Cardan relaxes his expression, not looking like the predator from seconds ago. A knock on the door sounds.

“Come in!”, I say.

Madoc opens the door, and his cat eyes narrow at the sight of Cardan. “I see you are busy tonight, daughter”

“What were you going to do now?”, Cardan asks me. He reminds me of a curious Oak.

“What _I am_ going to do now is train inswordplay with Madoc”

“Can I watch?”, Cardan’s eyes are shining, but he controls his smile when he looks up at Madoc.

Madoc laughs. “I will wait by the gardens, Jude”

He leaves the room and closes the door behind him.

“You know...”, I turn to look Cardan in the eyes, showing all my anger towards him. “I started training with Madoc because he was furious when I got home drunk with everapple and almost naked. I didn’t tell him what had happened, but he could guess. So I asked that instead of him killing my classmates, as he wanted to do, I wanted to get stronger, and asked for him to train me”.

I am daring him to be friendly now. Go on, say that you had fun that night, or play your riddles to try some poor excuse. His brows go up a moment, just to get back to his relaxed and lazy usual self.

“You do remember that I kicked Valerian off of you, and made you put your salty blood on your tongue so you could recover, right?”

“Do you want me to crawl and kiss your feet to express my thanks? And tell you how much I admire you?”

The hatred that I know crosses Cardan’s eyes, he clenches his jaw, and there is a tension all over his body, as if he just held himself back with all his might. Then his mouth curls in a satisfied smile.

“Lets not keep Madoc waiting”, he says.

And I don’t know why, but I let him come with me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there :)
> 
> Please tell me your thoughts about the chapter! I love to read comments, and I try to respond as fast as I can.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was beta-read by Aida, and I am loving it :)
> 
> Hot stuff ahead.
> 
> Also, you can listen to "Uninvited"/Alanis Morissette during or after reading, to feel the mood, or let it linger.

[Cardan’s POV]

I am lying over a cushion in Locke’s maze. This girl Elvey, skinny, brown hair and two horns, is laying over my arm, a hand under my shirt, caressing my chest. I had a few cups of wine and Nevermore, enough to play pretend. To use this girl in my repulsive imaginings about a human. Her mouth is nipping my ear, and it feels good. All the others are here, intoxicated as well, coiled together like twine in pairs or more. Drunk off the flesh as much as the alcohol. The dizziness does not allow me to focus on them, which suits me well as I do not care.

“You know what would be cool, Locke?”, Valerian asks.

Locke takes his mouth off of Taryn’s to glare at Valerian, “elucidate me”.

“Bring the twin for a change”, Valerian laughs. “Maybe she will be more exciting to watch”

Taryn glares daggers at Valerian, but that just makes him more excited.

\--

Every now and then I go to Madoc’s estate to play with Oak and watch Jude train. Then, one night the general suggested that I train with Jude. As much as I wanted to decline his offer, Madoc’s expression was one he had never bestowed me with, and I was intrigued. It was as if he was giving me a chance to change his opinion of me; that I was an undeserving, lay about prince – which was absolutely true. Madoc’s eyes were not mocking me, nor expecting me to be a great warrior. Instead his eyes regarded me with a question: would I take this opportunity to redeem myself, or would I continue to relish my inglorious failures? There was no need to beat me into submission. I rose to my feet and Madoc gave me a wooden sword like his and Jude’s. The general corrected my posture and started teaching me.

Tonight he is standing by, and while Jude attacks me, Madoc gives me suggestions on how to defend or attack her next, without swords. At first I thought I shouldn’t fall for Madoc’s trick and hurt Jude, but that was an extravagant daydream in which I could reach her at all. When Jude engages in serious combat, she pursues her opponent with unrelenting focus. All I can manage are a series of feeble parries. We hear horses approaching and stop sparring. The riders are wearing hooded cloaks, hiding their faces.

“Since you have a partner tonight, train with him some more, Jude. I have business to attend to”, Madoc looks at Jude and she nods.

We watch her father leave, and suddenly she is attacking me again. Jude is short and strong and _fast_. She knows all her advantages, and does not hesitate to use them. I am not weak, I just lack technique. If I were to dedicate myself to swordplay, I could be better than her by far.

“This one”, I step back, making Jude cease her attack. “Show me how to block it!”

Jude sighs, but nods. She repeats the attack slowly so I can imitate her, then she asks me to try it on her.

“Aim for my face, with all you got”

I hesitate, but I don’t think I can touch her yet, and if I manage to punch her, that would be something. I turn my hips and put my weight on my heel, my arm follows the movement. I feel her hand grabbing my wrist, and she uses the momentum of my movement to lead me elsewhere, spinning, then forces me to my knees with my arm bent behind my back. If she forces an inch more, she will break my arm.

Jude lets me go, and I try to avenge my pitiful self. I go for her knees, and use my weight to throw her to the ground. She fights me, and I try to pin her down. With a great struggle, I finally do it. Then I realize my underhanded revenge back fired on me; the sight of Jude underneath me, sweating, panting... Jude forces her way free, we roll and now she is the one pinning me down. Her hands are locked on my wrists, her knee is over my stomach, with her foot placed between my legs. Jude’s braid is a wild mess, wisps of hair frame her face.

“Off,” I demand.

She smiles. A smug fucking smile. It widens, making her eyes narrow so that they are barely visible. Her cheeks are flushed from all the training. Jude’s breathing is uneven, her chest heaving to recover breath. I laugh at her. She unbalances, and her leg slides down to recover stability. That is not good. No. Too good, actually. Jude’s leg delicately rubs between my own. Neither of us expected the gasp I release.

What. Did. I. Just. Do?

Jude is frozen, all humor gone. If I could lie, I would pretend that she had hurt me. Since she is in shock, her hands relax over my wrists. With great care I quickly maneuver Jude off of me so that she does not feel anything that may further disgust her, and head back to Hollow Hall without looking back. Once I am back home, submerged in my tub, I let myself imagine. I have plenty of material to choose from, now that I get to be near her frequently. The way her sweat runs over her skin, the way she bites her lower lip to think. Those full lips in a smile, her tongue languidly sliding over them so they don’t dry. I think of her touches. The ones she didn’t realize she gave me, light ones that could pass as a caress, and the rough ones from when we sparred.

I can reproduce the pressure of her leg and work with that, as if Jude were here with me, leaning over me. Now I am bathing in my own orgasm. 

\--

“Jude told me”, Locke tells me.

It is lunch break and we are gathering our things to eat in the courtyard. I feel something in my gut twist, and try to not show it on my face. How much the idea of Jude mocking me for getting aroused because of her hurts. Making fun of me to Locke. This is a nightmare.

“Did she, now?”, I smile at him. I always smile when I am this nervous.

“Yeah, she told me you frequent her house to play with Oak. Why?”

The relief I feel makes me laugh. I glimpse at Jude and Taryn who are approaching, since they have to pass through us to exit the room.

“You are playing with the kid?” Valerian is behind me with Nicasia, “What for?”

“We became friends”, I tell them.

“What fun is there to be had with a kid?” the scorn in Valerian's voice is clear.

“He is the first kid to not cry at the sight of me, and sometimes he is more fun to be with than you are! I can be friends with whomever I want to”, I shrug and start leaving.

I don’t take part in much conversation with Valerian and Nicasia as we eat, I just nod agreeing to meet them later at Locke’s estate. Back at home I do my homework fast, easily, and after, I grab this new book that I started reading about dragons and warriors. Balekin knocks at my open door and enters the room. I put the book open over my legs, so Balekin won’t see its cover and torment me for reading a human’s book.

“Madoc told me you have improved your skills. Finally you are doing something useful”

“You came to tell me you are proud of me?”, I test him.

“Not yet”, Balekin smiles. “But it does please me that you are not a pathetic waste of space anymore”

He leaves me. Balekin just provoked me as he usually does, and took my training as something I am doing for him, except I am not. I sigh and get back reading. I will not explode at this. I keep reading until it is late enough to head out to Locke’s estate. I give myself a last glance in the mirror, staring at my own dark eyes. The kohl highlights my intense gaze. Tonight I choose a circlet of silver vines and leafs placed above my brows, matching the silver on my ears. I am wearing comfortable black breeches, my tail inside it around my leg, with dark green boots that go up to my calf, and a grey spider silk shirt. I grab my dark green cloak that has thin brown vines intertwining all over and nod approvingly to my looks. I might impress someone tonight. I take the bottle of wine from the cellar, and leave Hollow Hall.

The night sky is a deep, clear indigo, and a breeze carries the natural chill of this hour. I reach the maze and Locke is kissing Jude just by its entrance. Hands on her ass, pulling her closer. I slow my pace, and she turns to see who is watching. My heart sinks. I feel betrayed somehow. The nervous smile plays on my face, a desperate act to save me, since I am sober.

“Jude, you are most generous to have come to play with us”

“Come in, let’s start this bottle right away!”, Locke says, clapping his hands enthusiastically.

We sit in a circle of blankets and cushions. Nicasia has her ocean hair in a single long braid, lying over her elbow. There is a man behind her, dark green skin and brown curled hair. His hand on her waist. Orias offers me an acorn cup. I take it and pour my own wine, then pass on the bottle. I sit between Ariadne and Jude, and we all chat and drink to our hearts content. Even Jude is drinking, but at a slower pace. The night goes on, and we play drinking games. Most of them are already wasted when we start playing truth or dare. Locke leans his head more comfortably over his cushion, and it does not take long for him to start sleeping.

Valerian says that Jude is not allowed to choose truth, because he won’t trust her words. She laughs at him and accepts it, then he dares her to crawl along the corridor of the maze, and she does. The wine must have affected her senses more than I previously thought, to make her willing to play. Jude gets back and our eyes meet. She lifts one brow, daring me to make her do something more audacious, however, it is not my turn yet. As the night progresses, We reach a point in which the only option chosen is dare, and the game devolves into little more than sexual favors. By now, Gullveig, Orias and Muirgen are long gone inside the house. Probably having sex.

“I dare you to kiss Ariadne”, Nicasia tells me.

And I kiss the girl with red lips, with my hand intimately cradling her head. I pull back and Ariadne bites her lower lip, satisfied with my kiss.

“I dare you to make Nicasia moan!”, Ariadne dares the green man beside Nicasia.

He sucks on her neck and slips his hand under her dress to squeeze her breasts, and Nicasia moans. They kiss each other and laugh. He gets up, and pulls Nicasia, leaving the maze with her so they can enjoy each other properly in private.

“I dare you to tell Valerian something obscene”, I tell the pixie beside him.

Valerian gives me an approving smile, and the pixie whispers something in his ear, that makes him roll his eyes. Valerian takes the girl away, and I laugh at them. My laugh quickly dies when I realize that the only people left awake are Ariadne, Jude and I. It is Jude’s turn to spin, and the bottle points to Ariadne.

“Hmm... I dare you to kiss him?”

“Oh, you are so not creative!”, Ariadne answers.

“I didn’t say where”, Jude tries, her cheeks are red, but I think it is mostly because of the wine.

Ariadne kisses the nape of my neck, and it is clear she knows what she is doing, stealing a groan out of me. Now it is my turn, and I get to dare Ariadne. She giggles excited.

“Kiss Jude as you just did me”

And she does. Jude is shy at first, shrinking a bit. But Ariadne’s good work has Jude biting her lower lip; and _that_ _,_ that _sight_ , of her teeth sinking into her lush, pink bottom lip, makes my cock throb. I usually resent the fact that a human can elicit such a reaction from me, but I find I cannot muster the strength to care right now. Ariadne spins the bottle, which lands on me. I feel anxious. I glance at Locke to confirm he is still sleeping, and he is. Snoring, even. I think anything Ariadne dares me to do will have potentially dangerous consequences, because if I get to touch Jude, I will not know how to go back to before. Maybe we should stop playing.

“I dare you to play with her ear using your mouth”

“Specific, hmm”, I laugh. 

Ariadne’s yellow eyes are glowing with lust. I smile at her, my signature nervous smile. My eyes meet Jude’s then, and she does not look as if she is going to back down, but I can see insecurity. I reach out my hand and place her hair behind her ear. I use one hand to hold my weight on the ground as I lean forward, and with the other hand I hold Jude’s head with care, and slowly pull it until her forehead is leaning against my shoulder. Now Ariadne won’t get to see Jude’s face, and she might have seen my intention, since I can hear her laughing. Jude is shy again, eyeing me from the corner of her eyes. I reach her ear, brushing my lips over it idly, and feel Jude’s light startle. Perhaps she really does not want to be touched by me, perhaps she is repulsed.

But I check her expression, and I see expectation there. So I gently nip at her ear. My heart is beating like crazy, my gut is twisting in contradictory coldness and heat. In an impulse of my desire, I trail the border of her ear with my tongue, and with that Jude shudders. I just want more of this sensation, I press my tongue just inside her ear, and Jude moans lowly. My cock is uncomfortably hard inside my trousers, and my tail is straining nearly as much. I suck in my breath, still holding her head, then find the strength to let go.

Jude’s cheeks are flushed to roses, and pride radiates through me.

“Jude?”, Ariadne calls her.

With a shake of her head, Jude’s eyes recover focus and she laughs while spinning the bottle. Now she gets to dare me.

“Suck on Ariadne’s fingers”, she commands, with a smug smile.

Ariadne holds out her hand to me, pleased with my new task. I carefully suck on each finger, while maintaining eye contact with Ariadne. Her eyes flutter, and she sighs when I stop. I spin the bottle, which lands on Jude. My grin is spontaneous, and they laugh at me.

“I dare you to kiss Ariadne’s mouth”

Jude blushes again and Ariadne giggles. They turn to each other, gazing at each other’s lips, slowly approaching, closing their eyes until their mouths meet. Ariadne caress Jude’s cheek. I can see their tongues twisting now and then. I want to join them. My trousers are painfully tight. They stop kissing and laugh together. My heart is still racing, I run my tongue over my lips, savoring this image of Jude. Now Ariadne gets to dare Jude.

“I dare you to caress Prince Cardan over his cock, while he counts to ten”.

 _Shit_. I should have stopped before. But it is fine, I am good, Jude is not going to do it. Is she? Her face is all red, her mouth curls slightly as she thinks of it. If she does it, I just have to count fast. Wait, why I would make it fast? Jude is the one accepting the challenge, I should make it last forever! However, I feel that I will lose it. I might attack Jude and not care about anything else. What of the consequences? Locke is right there, he could wake. Ariadne might tell everyone that Prince Cardan was crazy over this human. Shit. Jude is approaching me, her face is uncertain, but she is coming. Jude sits beside me with our thighs touching, a hand on the ground behind me as she leans towards me.

“Jude...”, I try to warn her. I do not know about what exactly.

We stare at each other, she looks more sober now. My lips part a bit as my breathing gets heavy with anticipation, and she looks at them, then to my eyes again. I feel her hand on my thigh and stop breathing. Once she reaches my hardness, I exhale sharply.

“Start counting”, she demands.

My face is tingling and Jude is looking me intensely. I feel my brows draw together in a silent plea and Jude’s hand starts stroking me.

“One”, I say deeply. _Fuck._

Ariadne giggles. Jude’s lips part. I want to suck them into my mouth. My eyes roll.

“Two...” Jude says

“Two” I repeat, purring.

“Put more pressure”, Ariadne suggests, laughing, “I bet he will like it”

And to my surprise, Jude obeys.

 _Shit!_ I cover my face with my hands, and shakily say “three”

“Go on” Ariadne tells me.

I bite my palm, and look at Jude. Her brown eyes are brimming with desire - my nightmare come true. I am a shuddering mess.

“Four”, I cry out.

“If you want her to stop, you just have to count faster”, the malice in Ariadne’s voice is exciting me. “Or maybe you want it to last longer, to relish the pressure, delight in each caress... Perhaps you just want to jump on us, perhaps you want to make us as desperate for pleasure as you are”

I do. I want that.

 _Fuck._ “ five..”, I gasp out on an exhale.

Jude’s lips are so close, but I am sure she would not let me kiss her. I can imagine my cock pushing past her glistening lips. Through gritted teeth, I grind out,

“Six”

I shudder and cover my face again.

“Seven”

Ariadne’s face is alight with vicious joy, she says, “Oh, he is no fun, Jude! He is counting faster now!”

“ Eight...”, I whisper. Then, I can’t stop a shuddering groan, “ _Jude!”_

She increased her pressure and I don’t know what to do with my hands. Ariadne kisses my mouth, putting her hand over Jude’s, and I moan aloud. Are they going to let me fuck them? Ariadne starts unlacing my shirt and I let her. She kisses my chest and goes to the waistband of my trousers.

“We have to stop, it is almost dawn”, Jude suddenly says. “We have to bring Locke inside the house”

“Count to ten now Cardan”, Ariadne tells me in hurry.

“Fuck you two”, I growl at them. “Nine, ten. Leave now!”

They back away and I get up, pick up Locke and head into the house without looking to see if the girls are following me. I take Locke to his room and backtrack to the living room. The sun is fully risen, as I am. Horny as fuck. Jude is standing by the entrance, avoiding my eyes. Perhaps she is disgusted after all.

“I am going home”, she tells me.

“Why? If you do not wish to be with me, you can still sleep beside Locke”

“I don’t want to sleep besides anyone today”, Jude finally looks at me, angry. But maybe she is not angry at me. “What I did...”

“Worry not, you can say it was the wine’s fault. Blame me for bringing good wine”, I smile, but I feel hurt.

“No. It was not the wine’s fault” Jude’s eyes are firm. Making me see what I dreamed of seeing there. She wanted me. “Although I have no idea what it was. It does not matter, I am going now. See you...?”

There is nothing left for me to say, so I nod and Jude leaves. The sun light kisses her skin as she walks away, her hair sways on her back. I hear Ariadne giggling as she comes back in the living room, she hugs me from behind, hands sliding over my chest and my stomach. One hand slides inside my trouser and grabs my now half awake member.

“Let me finish what I started”, she bites my back. “Let me melt your mind!”

And I let her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "But this is not allowed  
> You're uninvited  
> An unfortunate slight!"
> 
> Sweet torture :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter beta-read by Aida <3
> 
> Suggestion: listen to "Chasing Cars"/Snow Patrol to feel feelings while reading, or later on, to keep the feelings lingering.

[Jude’s POV]

All day I toss and turn in bed. I end up kicking the blanket to the floor. Now, I am rolled onto my side glaring at the wall. Cardan must know now, that even me, who tries to act that I do not wish to have anything to do with him, I feel this contradictory attraction to him, that is eating away at me inside. However, I don’t know _what_ it is actually. All the fae are extravagantly beautiful or scary hideous; like the Bomb and the Roach. But Cardan is something else. Is it because he is a prince? No, I don’t find the same feelings towards the other Greenbriars. It is more than just his insouciant gaze, or his smug smile. My hatred has made him more beautiful than anyone, even if I think it weird, I can’t help but feel desire for him.

It is common knowledge that Cardan has quite an active sex life, I have seen him kissing strangers at revels. But that he would accept even me? I didn’t believe that night when we were sparring and I accidentally rubbed between his legs with my own without realizing it, until he moaned. I didn’t believe that I could cause that. Maybe there was a sensible explanation; maybe he had not had sex lately because he was studying. Then there was the truth or dare game. It was a great opportunity to make him crawl and payback for his stupid cruelty, but the game turned into something bawdy and when I came to myself my hand was caressing Cardan in his most private place. Words cannot describe the look on his face or the timbre of his voice; or how the fact that I caused that made me feel. If I had stayed there, Cardan could have easily persuaded me to play more with him and Ariadne. The thought sends a shiver down my spine.

After a sleepless day, my feet drag me to classes with great chagrin. Taryn is asking me how was it with Locke and his friends. She insinuates that I had more than kisses with Locke, and it annoys me. I leave out the part of the game truth or dare, Taryn doesn’t need to know about it. The lessons are being held in one of the towers of the palace, we have to answer some questions on our own about the history of Elfhame. It is not complicated, so I finish it fast, but my classmates are having more difficulty. The professor tells us that whoever finishes the test, can wait for the next class outside in the courtyard, so I grab my things and leave. Maybe Taryn will soon find me.

I walk until I find my usual place beside a large tree, in which I can lean against. I grab a book from inside my basket, to review for another class, and as I open my book, I hear someone approaching. Cardan. My cheeks heat in a mixture of embarrassment and shyness, but when his eyes meet mine, I feel a shiver of fear. There is no flame of hatred towards me, there is no friendship or sign of smug humor. He glares me at me coldly, and looks away, walking past me without slowing his pace or turning back. It is like I had done something to him that hurt him, but I didn’t.

——

It’s been two weeks since Cardan last spoke to me. He has not come to train with me and Madoc, or to play with Oak, although he invited Oak to play at his house.

“You are distracted”, The Ghost calls to me from a branch two meters away. He is teaching me more about jumping trees unnoticed.

“I won’t be anymore”, I tell him, looking into his eyes, and he nods.

We successfully pass over a group of travelers, and they don’t even glance at the forms jumping from tree to tree. They might think that we were just savage animals passing by, and did not deserve attention. We reach a glade, where the Ghost stops and we start sparring. I feel the improvement of my training, both with him and with Madoc. It takes me longer to tire, and I feel my attacks nearly as good as his. As a mortal, I don’t have the lifespan that would allow me to reach the greatness of a seasoned fae warrior’s combat skills, but I can still try to best any human’s capabilities by training hard everyday.

The breeze that passes us brings a calming scent. Somewhere close it is raining. We stop sparring, the Ghost tells me some of my good moves and what I should do to improve, then we go our separate ways, back home. Madoc is with Oriana in the living room, he reads a book while she knits. There is a tray with cups of tea half drunken on the center table.

“Jude, I am happy that you seem happier and have even made friends… friends that keep you out quite late” Madoc says, his cat eyes leaves the book to gaze me. “But I still find your friendship with prince Cardan something odd. I had thought that you hated him”

“I do, sometimes”, I smile at him, and Madoc laughs.

“Are you going to finish the book that I lent you?”

It is one about strategies of kings and queens.

“Yes, I think that by tomorrow you can test me about what I learned from it”

Madoc gives me a satisfied face, then changes his smile to a mocking one. “I hope your visitor does not keep you from reading”

“Visitor?”, I was not expecting anyone. Wait. It cannot be... “Where?”

“Your room”

He laughs again, and Oriana glances at me in disapproval. I leave them to enter my room, and there he is. Cardan is lying on the floor over a rug, with his head resting on my pillow, reading a comic book that Vivi probably lent him. He is wearing a loose white shirt folded to his elbows, brown breeches and black boots. Hands full of rings, a leather bracelet on his wrist, a few earrings with different stones attached. His circlet of silver vines lays beside the pillow. Cardan turns to look at me, those obsidian eyes trying to read me while he wears his smug smile. My heart beats painfully, happy that he is not looking at me with spite. I did not even realize that I missed him; I did not realize how much his continued avoidance of me hurt. I did not realize how the cold malice of his glares weighed heavy on my heart. Was that because I really thought we could be friends? That I would have a friend for the first time after all those years of fear and uncertainty?

“Brave Jude, did you miss me?”

“You must have missed me, since you are here now”, I try to keep control of my voice. He laughs in response. “Why are you on the floor?”

“I promised you that I would not sneak into your bed, since you did not wish for me to do so”, he pouts. Cardan knows how get on my nerves. “Go on, you look dirty. I bet you were planning to bathe, so do not mind me!” He grins wickedly. “We can talk afterwards”

I narrow my eyes.

“You want me to bathe while you are here?”

“To be fair, you saw me naked before”, he argues, and smirks at my blushing face. “I promise you that I will wait for you to come back from the bath, unless you call me to join you”

I bite inside my cheek to control my embarrassment. In the end it hardly matters if he stays in my room as he cannot break his promise. With this in mind, I retreat into my bathing chamber. When I get back, Cardan is still lying on the floor. The comic book is beside his circlet, his long finger is rubbing his nose distracted, pressing its tip, unwittingly giving himself a funny face. I am wearing a thin strapped, delicate yellow dress, and loose wet hair. Cardan takes his hand away from his face and gives me a look I cannot decipher.

“We played truth or dare the other night” he starts, and my cheeks immediately burn at the memory. Cardan sits, crossing his legs and putting the pillow in his lap, hugging it. “but it was more dare after dare, than anything else. Would you play something like ‘truth after truth’ with me, right now?”

I look at him perplexed, “But I can lie”

“I know. But I am asking you to play anyways”

What does he want to know? I do not wish to accept this game and lie, and perhaps that is what he is thinking, and that is why Cardan wants to play. And yet, I may benefit from his game. I _could_ ask about the piece of paper I took from his room in Hollow Hall, during my first mission for Dain, the night I hid in the shadows of his room and witnessed Balekin beat him. He could ask me anything, any other day, and try to find out if it is true or not. But to impose a game about it, he must have questions that I would avoid if I could. I walk to the chair by my desk and sit.

“You can sit on the bed for now”, I tell him. “Truth after truth... Lets play it then. Only two questions each”

“Five, and then I leave”

“Three, or none at all”

Cardan snorts and tosses the pillow back on my bed. He hesitates a moment, before getting up, kicking off his boots, and proceeding to throw himself onto my bed. He turns to lay on his side and looks at me.

“Lets take turns. Since I proposed the game, I shall be first. Give me an elaborate answer if you wish to receive an answer equally elaborated”, Cardan takes a deep breath, and I feel nervous. “Have you ever feared me, Jude?”

Something cold twists in my gut. It has started raining, and the wind whistling through my room only accentuates this uneasy feeling. An answer I do not want to give, to a question I dread. No exception. There is no threat in his eyes, but suddenly I fear him already. What will he do to with my answer? I could lie, or could say a simple “yes”, but then he would not answer my question.

“Constantly” I say, slowly. His eyes narrow, doubting me. “I told you before – you are cruel. Out of all the Greenbriars, no one can raise a voice to you, no one can interfere when your are tormenting some poor being, because your rage will fall upon whoever tries. You can destroy with actions, hurting physically, and you can destroy with words. You are good at being bad and know it, enjoy it”

“But you did raise your voice to me, you interceded for Taryn. Always defying me... That is not fear”

“I can lie”, I remind him. “I can pretend that I am not afraid if I get you to focus on my anger”, I wait for him digest my answer. My hands are sweating, my body is tense, nervous. Now he knows.

I have to make him this nervous. I open a drawer in my desk, and reach the paper hidden in the bottom. As soon as his eyes identify the content in this paper, they widen. My name, over and over in his handwriting. Cardan clenches his jaw and fists, sitting perfectly still. I can’t even distinguish his chest moving to breathe.

“What does it mean, Cardan?”

“Between many things, it means hate. How did this particular piece of paper come to be in your hands?”, he hisses.

“I took it when I went to Hollow Hall”. He must regret inviting me to the party, regret taking me into his room. He has no idea, however, that I took the piece of paper before the event. “I gave you an elaborated answer about my fear, you told me you would give me an answer of equal value, so tell me: why do you hate me?”

Cardan sits on the edge of my bed, head down, a low rolling growl sounds through my room. Is he trying to scare me?

“You know”, he says, without lifting his head, “You know that I have always hated you. You, more than anyone, but myself”. He is squeezing the edge of my bed so tightly his knuckles start losing color.

“elaborate...”

_“Jude”_

_“Cardan”_

Another growl.

“You did not even give me wine to swallow this! Do not ask for more!”

“Your game”, I remind him. “Your words that you would give me an elaborated answer, so do it!”

“See? You do not fear me, you lied to my face, I can pass on with my answer”, rage colors his voice

“Oh did I lie to you? Did I? Look at me and say you don’t believe me now”

I am shaking, with anger and fear. Cardan looks, he sees it now, he sees the subtle tremors I try to suppress. His hands relax.

“I won’t hurt you now”

“Won’t you? You are impulsive, you might”, I shrug. “and I do not mean physically”

“Very well”, he fixes me with a spiteful look. “I hate you because your father loves you even though you’re a human brat born to his unfaithful wife, while mine never cared for me, though I am a prince of Faerie. I hate you because Locke used you to make Nicasia cry after he stole her from me. Besides which, after the tournament, Balekin never failed to throw you in my face as the mortal who could best me”

He is breathing heavily, and so am I. The weight in each word, the anger in his eyes, makes my heart beat painfully out of my chest. Cardan closes his eyes.

“What, there is more?!”, I feel disturbed. He found so many reasons to hate me, I am impressed.

“Most of all, I hate you because I think of you. Often. It’s disgusting, and I can’t stop”, he says quietly.

I am shocked. The silence feels as a prickle of needles across my skin, my thoughts a whirlwind. Cardan puts his boots back on. He walks over to me just to kneel at my feet, and lays his head on my thighs. I don’t know what to feel.

“Last question then”, he says, “Can I come back to spar with you again?”

I laugh. After all the tension, a light question is refreshing silly.

“Yes, you can”, I tell him, and Cardan laughs.

There is an urge to touch his hair, caress him, but I hold myself back.

“Your last question”, he tells me.

“Did you love Nicasia?”

“I did”, he doesn’t even hesitate.

Cardan lifts his head, we are almost on the same level with him on his knees and me sitting in this chair. Cardan’s eyes slide down to my shoulder, and my gaze follows his. One of my dress straps has slid down my shoulder, and as I look at the strap, Cardan’s finger hooks into it and slowly drags it back into place atop my shoulder. I inhale an unsteady breath, and bring my eyes up to meet his.

“Game over” I tell him in a whisper. His eyes wander my lips, and his smug smile is back in place.

“One of the games is, indeed. Now, as I promised, I shall leave”

Candan gets up, fetches his circlet still lying on the rug, gives me a last smile and leaves my room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved to write this chapter, to have Cardan laying his head over Jude's lap after confessing he thinks of her frequently. I hope you guys loved it too <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter beta-read by Aida - a supeeeer thanks Aida <3
> 
> A song, just because: Through the Glass/Stone Sour.
> 
> .

[Cardan’s POV]

I had tried to keep away from Jude. I did everything I could. I suppressed my attraction to her and converted desire into disgust. Yet despite my efforts, my desire has boiled over. Now that I have seen a shadow of what we could be, I want her more than ever. To think that she would smile at me, that I might hear her bright laughter. To know what she looks like when she is eager. To have the privilege of seeing her completely relaxed; to know what her trust feels like. I want every facet of her. My hand itches to feel her skin, my arms feel empty without her. But Jude does not want me. When did I become so desperate? How does Jude make me feel like this? I hate her for making me want her so badly. But I failed myself, and I end up going after her. When it comes to Jude I have close to no restraint.

Jude knows now. How disgusting I am; me and my wicked mind. She always knew that I hated her, but now Jude knows why. It was scary to tell her everything, to be vulnerable. She could have laughed, mocked me. But now I know Jude feared me, and perhaps she felt vulnerable as well. It felt good to see it, her body shaking and shrinking, eyes watering, I felt powerful over her – proud, even. The brat prince was feared by the bravest girl. It is like she is my prey and I can do whatever pleases me, however I do not wish to be cruel to her anymore. It is good to feel power, but instead of tearing her apart, I just want to place my head on her lap and purr, so she might pet me.

It is a different kind of friendship from the ones that I am accustomed to, it feels more real. It is not like Jude wants to be near me to use me for something, she does not need me at all. Still, Jude will be beside me, will have fun with me, will spar again. I don’t think it feels this different because she is human, though. No, I am over that. Jude is mortal, can die easier than any fae, but she is not weak, not dumb, not ugly. The servants in Hollow Hall might prove themselves equally Strong and smart, given the opportunity (and training). Although her beauty... I don’t know if there are other humans like her. There is Taryn, and of course I think she is pretty, but Jude’s beauty transcends her outward appearance – Jude’s vibrant personality shines through everything she does. Now, the repulse I experience when I think of my feelings is directed towards myself, for being who I am and wishing for what I wish. 

Nicasia enters my room without knocking, and closes the door behind her.

“What if I had someone in bed with me?”, I ask her, making room for her to lay beside me.

“I would judge the person and leave”, she laughs. “So, last night’s guy was awesome!” we turn to look at each other. “He was so good with his hands and his mouth, really Cardan!”, Nicasia rolls her eyes emphasizing.

“If he is so good, you could introduce him to me”

“Back off! Let me enjoy him!”, Nicasia wrinkles her nose. Then, she lifts a brow. “And where were you? Who where you with?”

“Jude Duarte”, and it is like I just slapped Nicasia in the face. I try to hold my laugh. “I am her friend now. Sort of. I think I am”

“Did you learn how to lie? Seriously Cardan?”

“As serious as I am your friend. You, who betrayed me”

Nicasia glares at me, and I smirk with satisfaction. She stays silent for a long moment, like a child’s tantrum.

“I want to tell her about Locke and Taryn”, I tell her then. “I want Jude to know that they are playing her, and ruin Locke’s fun with that. Do you want to help me? You know I lack skills at scheming, since it takes effort”

“I still don’t like that you are willing to be friends with a human, more the less Jude Duarte”, she snorts, “But I would like very much to see Locke’s fun over for once.”

“No involving Valerian”, I say immediately.

“He was out of the question already”

Then we planned. Me, Cardan Greenbriar, the lazy bastard prince was scheming. So I could take Jude out of Locke’s play. I am not so sure if it was such a good idea to have that conversation with Jude, to let her know why I hated her. Ever since, I am more relaxed around Jude, and approach her more often and now my head is a battle of my monstrous self and this new version that waves his tail at Jude.

We made up a simple plan, and put it into action the next day of lessons. Nicasia asked Locke if he was still visiting Taryn in her chambers, and with her charming talents, Nicasia was able to obtain the information that we needed: when Locke would visit Taryn again. Two nights after, I went to play with Jude, Oak and Vivienne, and left a note, in Jude’s room, to check upon Taryn.

It has been three days, and neither Taryn, nor Jude, nor Locke came to attend lessons, so I decided to investigate what had happened. Oak opens the door so I can enter Madoc’s estate.

“It is not a good time, Cardan...”, he tells me.

“Why? Did something happen?”

Oak is troubled. I look around but it does not seem as if anyone is around.

“Jude and Taryn had a huge fight”, Oak wilts, sad. “And we haven’t seen Jude since. It has been three days”

Fuck. What did I do? Oak starts sobbing, and it pains me to see him like this, so I take him into my arms, hugging and soothing his back. Oriana appears in the hallway and startles at my sight. She looks distressed, but curtsies and approaches me.

“I am sorry, prince Cardan, but Jude is not at home right now”

“Oak told me something...” 

But Oak starts crying loud now, mucus running down his nose, my shirt is ruined. Oriana takes him from me with care, her eyes full off sorrow. She is in pain as well, for Oak’s suffering and probably because she cares for Jude as well.

“Let me help find her”, I tell Oriana. “I will look for her, and if you find her, please let me know!”

Oriana is surprised, but nods in agreement. I leave the house, and go straight to Locke’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, let me know what you thought about the chapter and how you find the story so far <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wish for a background sound, listen to Sophie Hunger | "Le Vent nous portera".
> 
> This chapter was beta-read by the awesome Aida, and I am very thankful for that.

[Jude’s POV]

There was three empty bottles of wine on the table, that must be why my head aches so much, although it might not be just due to the alcohol. I had cried a lot. Thankfully I had a place to run off to – the Court of Shadows. The Bomb is here, laying on the couch while I am laying on the floor. She drank with me, maybe more, so she could handle all my sobbing. It was nice of Liliver to stay with me. When I ran away from Madoc’s estate, I thought that being alone would be convenient, no one to witness my despair. However, the Bomb was already in the room when I came here. She helped me find the bottles of wine, the acorn cups, and sat with me by the table. Between my laments, Bomb told me her history, how she had met the Roach and that her name is Liliver.

The wine’s taste is still on my tongue, and my throat is so parched that it is making me nauseous. My tears and snot from my crying have dried on my skin. I feel disgusting. After I attend to basic hygiene, I look at my face in the mirror and those swollen eyes annoy me. Everything does. Suddenly it is Taryn that is looking back at me in the mirror, and I run to retch inside the basin. So this is how it feels like to be betrayed and played by someone you trust. If I close my eyes I can see them.

There was a note on my desk, in Cardan’s handwriting, to visit my sister’s chambers because she needed me. It was odd, but if Cardan was harassing or hurting Taryn in any way after that story that we were friends, I would punch him. I got there and went in without knocking, the room was dark, hard to distinguish anything at first sight. What came to me first was the smell of crape myrtles. I knew that scent, and it did not belong to Taryn. The room’s temperature was warm, and a low moan drifted through the room. Though I could not see anything, that sound still sent a repulsed shiver down my spine. My eyes adapted, and there she was: Taryn stark naked, face contorted, lying in her bed. There was someone with his head between her legs, a fluffy reddish hair. Locke’s eyes met mine, and he stopped moving. Taryn’s eyes went wide, in shock, followed by dread.

“What are you doing to my sister?” my voice was steady, in contrast to the shaking of my body.

“Jude, let me explain...” Taryn got up, but she realized that she was naked, so she pulled the blanket to cover her body in embarrassment, and started crying.

Why would _she_ cry? I was slowly beginning to understand what was happening, but I was sure that Taryn had no reason to be crying. Unless she felt shame. That was it, Taryn was crying because she got caught, it was not shame for doing what she was doing. Locke was shirtless, breeches open and his member was out. He said nothing, just watched as if he was not part of it. I felt as if I could kill him, but it was Taryn that hurt me the most.

“You knew I was seeing someone, I told you that I made a promise not to tell you, that I was proving my love by not saying a thing”, she said between sobs.

“You were with him? He is the one that you wish to marry? HIM?” I am confused and hurt, and I am steadily losing control of my calm.

“Jude, you don’t understand! Please, hear me out!”, Taryn begs me.

“I just did! I saw it too!”, I finally yell.

Taryn reached out her hand to touch me, and I slapped her in the face, hard. It cut her lip, and she screamed. Madoc appeared by the door: “What is all this screaming-“ but he didn’t finish it. He saw it too. And at that moment Locke was scared, putting his clothes back on. Madoc looked from me to my sister twice, then to Locke.

“You don’t need to kill Locke”, I told him. “If I needed him dead, I would do it myself”

Madoc saw it in my eyes, that I could do it, and nodded. I could not bear it anymore, and so I ran. Out of the room, out of the house, just away. My sister did that to me, and Cardan knew it. Nicasia and Valerian knew. How much fun did they have at my expense? Fuck them.

\--

It’s been a week now. I wrote to Vivi, telling her that I was doing fine, just not ready to get back yet. As the days pass by, I receive an assignment from Prince Dain; I have a duty to prince Dain, and I intend to keep my oath. The Roach had told me that this job wouldn’t be easy, but he was being modest. I had to travel to Fairfold with him to find this hob that had stolen a letter from prince Dain, and this little shit is a fast runner. The streets are empty and foggy, I can mostly follow the sound of this hob’s running. He makes a few turns and finally stops at a dead end, falling into our trap. The Roach is there, ready to catch the thief.

The hob squirms and pulls, trying to get rid of the Roach’s hands.

“Hurry Jude, find the damn letter!”, Roach hisses to me.

I try every pocket, until I find it, folded.

“You creature, swear that you will not steal from prince Dain again, or I will have to take extreme measures!”, Roach spits.

“I swear, I swear! Leave me be!”, the hob contorts himself, and Roach frees him.

I give Roach the letter, so he can keep it. We make our way back to Elfhame with ragwort horses, traveling under a light rain. It feels refreshing, as the droplets run down my face, it washes away the numbness of this past week, and I feel alive again, if only for a moment. I feel like I can breathe again. Once we reach the woods near the palace, we are attacked, and we both fall from our horses. I hold out my dagger, and evaluate our enemies. There are two against us, so at the very least, we are not outnumbered. They must be after Dain’s note, so we will have to deal with them the way Roach has dealt with the hob before. Although these enemies look significantly tougher to handle, tall of stature, with broad shoulders.

They cannot see our faces, since we are wearing masks and cloaks, either way I have to be careful not to get caught. It feels good to fight, as good as feeling the rain, for the same reason. I am even liking the punches I’m taking, since this pain is nothing like what I carry in my heart and I find it distracts me from the ache. The Roach and I take advantage of being small, sliding, dodging, jumping, so our enemies don’t catch us. Perhaps I let myself get distracted in this blissful combat, giving an opening, and the enemy reaches for the Roach, taking him by his ankle, throwing him against a tree. That must have hurt. I use my knife to cut the enemy’s arm, drawing a line from his elbow to his shoulder.

I can hear The Roach grunt, but I can’t turn to see him now, my enemy is in a rage, and seems more dangerous. I try to find an opening, but he is more focused, ferociously blocking each attempt. The Roach finishes his enemy first, but I see that he is badly wounded.

“Go back first. I will be fine!”, I tell him, dodging a punch.

He hesitates, but he must be weak, because he nods and leaves me. I am no longer playing around and as my attention focuses on my opponent, my combat skills are more lethal, and my opponent is having a hard time because of it. I finally get to pin him down on the ground, the grass moistens my trouser over my knees.

"Swear to give up on pursuing prince Dain’s business, and you shall live!”

He laughs. I feel an incredible pain when he manages to free his hand, and cuts my side. A second after, my dagger is in his throat, drenching me with his green blood. I get up to walk a few steps away from him. I feel dizzy, weak. I take my mask off to rub my face, but there was blood on my hands and now I just feel worse.

“Jude?”, Cardan comes through a bush near the stable. He was probably going back to Hollow Hall after some royal errands at the palace.

No. No, no, no, no!

Cardan steps closer. He looks around, to see if there is anyone else close. He looks afraid. Cardan is afraid _of me now_. He should be.

“Just go away, and I will not kill you”, I tell him. But the words are not threatening enough, and everything goes black as I pass out.

\---

There is a piercing pain on my side, but overall I feel fine. I open my eyes and try to recognize the room. First I recognize the smell, the sweet apple, which reminds me of the danger that I might be in. What have I done? I am doomed. I get to my elbows with difficulty, evaluating the room. By the open balcony, there in a big rocking chair with a stool for his feet, Cardan is sleeping. It pains me to see him. I had trusted him for a few months, but he was laughing at me all this time. How peaceful my enemy is sleeping. He must have brought me here so he can give me away to Balekin, and find out all about Dain’s schemes. The sky is dark, but I have lost sense of time, and don't know what time is it, or how long I have been sleeping. I try to sit on the bed, and realize that I am wearing one of his black shirts, with nothing more. Carefully, keeping the blanket covering most of my back and my front, I lift the shirt to see my wound. It was stitched and cleaned. Someone bathed me, a servant probably. Hopefully.

“How are you feeling?”, I startle at his hoarse voice.

“Alive”, I try, still looking at my wound. Mostly to avoid his eyes.

“Good”

Cardan knows how to annoy me, of course. He is so silent that I think he could have fallen asleep again, but he was just waiting. I lower the shirt and turn to him. Our eyes meet, and I cannot read him.

“Is it ok if I tell your family that I have found you?”

“No!”, I panic, then bite inside my cheek to control myself. “Don’t.”

“Oak is worried, you know?”

My chest hurts. Cardan must have seen it, since his eyes change in a second to something like hurt as well.

“I will write him”, I answer. “I needed time”

“Right, to be a spy”

Damn it.

“Are you going to threaten me?”, I try to dare him with my eyes. Maybe if I look like I can deal with any threat, he will take more caution. It might be what I need, to get away.

Only, his eyes are hurting again, more openly, taking my will to run with it. What does that mean?

“I do not wish you ill. But before we get to it, talk to me about why you ran away. You could have come to me, have I not shown you that I am a friend?”

“What?”, I blurt out, and Cardan looks confused. “Cardan, you used me so you could laugh with your friends. You all knew about... You all knew! You approached me so you could enjoy it more. Oh pitiful mortal Jude, she falls so easily for a faerie, even though I act like I am above such notions!”

I hold my breath, because I don’t want to cry in front of him. I will not give him this. Cardan looks as if I had punched him, pain and anger stiffen his features.

“When they begun, I actually had no idea that Locke was with your sister. I thought he was with you, and he made us promise to not tell anyone. Locke made sure to use the right words, he told us that we couldn’t tell anyone that he was playing the _Duarte twin_. I was not having fun when I thought Locke was after you, and I was having even less when I realized he was playing you. I could not tell you, your sister would not tell you, so I decided that I could try to help you find out. The party that I had invited you and your sisters to? That was my first attempt, in which I failed. Only when I asked for Nicasia’s help, could I finally make you see. Know that she didn’t help because she cares for you, she just wanted to see Locke fail at his game”

Cardan’s breathing is heavy, his deep black eyes are searching mine for some sort of acknowledgement. I cannot believe it, even if he can't tell lies. Between my loving sister and my predator bully, Cardan is the one who stood by me? What have I done to my sister for her to despise me so much? It hurts. I cover my face in my hands, without the strength to hold my tears back. I hear Cardan approaching, but I can’t face him. I feel him sitting on the bed, and suddenly I am inside his arms. He puts my head against his chest, caressing it, soothing me, and all I do is sob more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now Jude knows.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter beta-read by the awesome Aida <3

[Cardan’s POV]

Her sorrow brings me sorrow, silent tears of sympathy run down my face. I held Jude while she cried herself to exhaustion, and held her until we fell asleep. It hurts to see her so distraught, but it hurts even more because Jude was this broken by Locke’s hand, and he was not suffering at all. I went to Locke’s estate to see if he knew where Jude could have gone when she disappeared since he was the one that played her, but he didn’t, and neither was he worried. Taryn was there with Locke, afraid to be at home if Jude ever came back. They deserve each other, a loathsome couple. Taryn’s face is bloated and ruddy, and I inquire as to why. Locke told me that Jude had slapped her twin, but Taryn’s swollen face was mostly because she kept crying, and that is why they didn’t attend lessons.

Jude is taking a bath now, and a servant just brought us a tray of food and tea. It is the second day that she is conscious after I had found her in the woods near the palace. That night I had been invited to dinner with my family and some guests at the palace, a long torturous dinner, where all my siblings had glorious stories to amuse our father’s guest and vex me. By the second row of desserts, Balekin excused himself and I took the chance to leave as well. Although, my brother did not intend on going to Hollow Hall yet, Balekin wanted to visit someone that I did not care for. We parted ways, and since I felt dreary, I didn’t wait for the chariot come to me. Instead, I walked through the courtyard and found my way to the stables, sure to find my ride there.

Lost in thought, I crashed into someone in hurry. He had small features, and wore a cloak and a mask, so I could not see who it was. Staring at each other, it crossed my mind that this was a dangerous man. However, his eyes lowered to my shirt, and I followed his gaze to see his blood on me. Seconds after, the short man collapsed at my feet. I heard sounds in the woods, and against my better instincts, my body moved towards the noise, taking me between bushes, to find another cloaked one. To my bewilderment, I recognized Jude while she scrubbed her face with something green. My eyes didn’t stop on her, but on the body behind her. Jude killed that man. The pouring rain was cold, and I felt the drops as if it this all was happening far away from me. I was horrified.

Jude saw it in my eyes, but she failed to threaten me, falling to the ground with a thud. It occurred to me that she was a pair with the masked man, and that they were spies. I crouched to Jude, taking a closer look. Should I leave her there? Should I take her to my father as a potential threat to him, so he could interrogate the spy? Jude’s expression was wrong, not of a villain, but a victim. Besides pain, I could see sorrow. The air was contaminated with the scent of the dead body, but there was something else. My eyes appraised Jude, finding one of her hands coated red in blood. Her blood. Dread consumed me – I would not lose this mortal to death. I took Jude in my arms, to the chariot that awaited me.

“Take the man fallen over there”, I gave the command to my coachman, nodding to where I had left the short man. “Bring him here”

The coachman obeyed, and soon after we were at Hollow Hall. I had servants cleaning Jude and the masked friend, that turned out to be a goblin. Also, I had a healer stitch their wounds. The healer told me that Jude had fainted mostly due to exhaustion, and that I should be certain not to let the girl face stressful matters too soon. I felt such overwhelming relief, Jude was not going to die. Yet. I hate that she is mortal, and can be easily taken from me. The healer was an old friend of mine, and promised me that he would not tell anyone about who I had brought into my chambers.

Afraid that Balekin would find out about them, I asked for the servants to arrange a couch in my room, and I even helped them move the furniture around, so the place wouldn’t look suspicious with a couch in the middle of it. Jude was on my bed, and the goblin got to be on the couch. I could sleep anywhere later, first I needed to bathe. It was a lot to process, so many questions and feelings. Second, I went after wine. Placing a bottle over a low table, I sat in my rocking chair by the balcony, made of polished wood, with a seat and a back cushioned. My body sank comfortably in the fabric, and I started drinking from my acorn cup, watching the spies.

The goblin woke up a couple of hours later, jumping to his feet, and wincing under instant pain from his wound on his shoulder and back. He evaluated the room in silence, eyes narrowed in mistrust. He had seen me first thing when he opened his eyes, but the goblin was not afraid of me. One of my black shirts covering his body did not seem to please him, as he scoffed to it. His eyes found Jude, and as if struck by a thought, he turned his eyes to me again.

“You saved us”, his melodic voice surprised me, since it was contradictory to his appearance. “Jude thinks you hate her, but it does not seem to be the case, _my prince_ ”

“Who are you?”, I demanded in a steady voice. “If you do not fear me, it would do you good to remember that I don’t live alone in Hollow Hall, and perhaps you would not like Balekin’s reception. And I did save your life, so you should at least answer a few questions”

“I am known as The Roach”, the goblin bowed. “Now I must go. Where are my clothes?”

“Who do you work for?”, I returned with a question, and the goblin rolled his eyes. He really did not fear me at all. If I was not going to get answers by fear, then I had to try a more shrewd way. “Take a sip”, I offered the bottle of wine.

I was right to offer it, the Roach was tempted. He looked around the room once more, walking towards me, and took a sip from the bottle. I drunk from my own cup, glad that I still had wine, because I would not drink any of the contents left in that bottle after the goblin’s mouth was on it. Suddenly I was taken by the fact that Jude has killed a man, so the Roach must have had his own death count. He was far more comfortable than me, sitting over the low table where the bottle was, just before. I gave him a presumptuous smile, showing him that I was in control.

“I cannot tell you anything, prince Cardan”, the Roach put his hand over his chest scrunching his nose in pain. I had seen the bandages, whatever had happened to him, he got out lucky. “I am bound by word. But I can tell you that we are trying to protect Elfhame’s throne, and it would be good if you let us go without any trouble”

“You are not in position to threaten me, if that is your intention. I do not trust you, I do not know you –“

“But you know Jude”, he cut me off with a wry smile. “You saved me because of her. So let us dispense with this interrogation, and let me go”

Fury ran through my veins. A feeling that I am well acquaintance with. The Roach saw it in my face, and finally his humor was gone, giving place to a mix of anger and annoyance.

“You want to know things, so let me tell you a few”, the Roach drank from the bottle again. “You and your friends hurt Jude, so she kept throwing herself at each opportunity that gave her a thrill. It was annoying”, he sighed, “and painful to watch. I do not know what you want with the girl now. For me, it looks like you do not despise her, but if I am wrong, there is another thing that you would find useful to know: Jude knows how to kill.”

I gritted my teeth, angry with his defiance. However, the Roach was showing that he cared for Jude, in such an earnest way that I found myself happy with this stranger, and proud of Jude for having a good friend.

“Let us make a bargain, Roach. Promise me that you will not tell anyone about the matter of me discovering the truth about you and Jude, and that you shall come to me, without harming me, if I ever summon you. To do so, I would write you a note, and leave it by the tree where we crashed into each other, so you have to frequently check upon this tree. You must also not tell Jude that I know of you. In return, I will give your clothes back and you can leave Hollow Hall unharmed, without Balekin ever knowing of it”

The Roach appraised me while I finished my wine. The bargain was my best choice, since he couldn’t tell me anything useful unless I knew the right questions. Cardan Greenbriar was making an effort again, all by himself. Would Jude be proud of me? Well, I was not planning on letting her know. Was Jude not also full of secrecy? I should keep secrets of my own, too.

“Fine, I take the bargain”, the Roach’s mouth curved into what I supposed to be a smirk, but it could also pass as squirm of pain. Given his state, it could be both.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter beta-read by the awesome Aida <3
> 
> To fall in love a little more, I recommend listening to "Kiss me" /Ed Sheeran.

[Cardan’s POV]

Over the past couple of days, Jude occupies the grand majority of her time reading books and sleeping, so that she may rest and recover. Even so, Jude silently cries herself into a deep sleep every day. As I keep watch over her, I become lost in thought, and my mind turns to my sanity. Maybe I am protecting her because my past self always thought that Jude’s eyes would be there for me, challenging me like a secret friend. Perhaps I don’t want to lose the friendship that I had build recently, when even her family accepted me warmly into their home. I had a small table put in the corner of my room, and chairs, this way Jude can be more comfortable when she eats. It is better than eating in the bed, or walking to the kitchen to find food, at the risk of meeting Balekin.

I sit in one of the chairs, eating. Jude comes to sit with me. Her hair is still wet, and she is wearing my purple shirt. My shirt only just covers the necessities, the hem brushing the tops of her thighs, the neckline dipping provocatively low, and as she walks towards me the light of the fire shows throw my shirt, revealing the silhouette of her body. She is breathtaking, and I attempt to remain unaffected. I am failing, terribly.

“So, now that you have rested, can we discuss you being a spy?”

She takes a sip of the tea, and looks at me, troubled. What does it mean? Can I believe any word she says? I should glamour her to tell me the truth.

“I was not supposed to let anyone find out, so I don’t know what will happen to me afterwards.” She tells me, and stops to think a bit while drinking more tea. “I can’t tell you much of it, literally can not”

So she was bound by word somehow, like her friend the Roach?

“You mean like the promise that I made Locke, and couldn’t tell you... Terrible comparison, but is it like that?”

“Something like that, possibly”

“I imagine you are working for one of my siblings”, I search the answer in her eyes, but she does not cooperate. “I must admit that you are more than what I thought you were. You killed Jude! How many more did you kill as a spy? No, I don’t wish to know it. I don’t understand how you could fear me, if it is you who holds the dagger. Can you tell me for how long?”, she shakes her head. “Are you a threat to my father?”

“No, I am not a threat to the High King of Elfhame”, Jude starts eating, “Nor you”, she gives me a wry smirk, and takes a bite of the honeycake.

I find myself calming down, probably an unwise decision. How can I be so fascinated by her even now? Jude could be using me for something. Maybe that is why she let me be her friend. My foolish heart is beating like it does not care – or worse, like I want her to use me.

“I don’t know if I can trust you, but I wish to”, I confess.

Jude swallows. She has dark circles under her eyes. When would her pain leave her?

“I can tell you a secret”, she tells me cautiously, “if you promise to keep it to yourself. It is not about me being a spy, but it is about me, and maybe it could make you trust me”

“I feel it is dangerous to trust you, Jude”

“Oh, but was it not you who was so fond of danger and cruelty? Or is it only when you administer it?”, she lifts a brow, and takes another bite.

A shiver runs down my spine.

“Are you trying to seduce me?”, I ask, but Jude’s eyes widen in surprise and denial. Now I feel embarrassed, and laugh. “Right, you are not even trying but you are succeeding at it”

Jude drinks more tea, and I drink mine too, to recover my senses.

“My secret”, Jude tries to get back to the matter at hand, “Do you want to hear it or not?” 

“I do. I promise to hear it and tell no one about it, ever”

She nods, then take a deep breath, perhaps inhaling her courage.

“I have a geas, you cannot glamour me. Try it, and you will see it”

That is a particularly convenient geas to have. I wonder how long she has had it? I have to test it. I clear my throat in a dramatic act, and Jude smiles with daring eyes. Then I put all my power in my words.

“Crawl to me”

Jude’s smile vanishes, and she looks as if she felt the intensity of my words like a reverent touch. Even so, she is not crawling, and her smug face is back on.

“Interesting”, I tell her. “Was it specifically to protect you from me?”

“You wish”, Jude laughs, then eats more. “So, do you trust me now?”

“Not entirely, but more so than before”

After we are done eating, I take the tray outside the room and give it to the first servant that I find. Balekin is walking down the hallway and looks at the tray, then to me.

“Do you have a guest?”

“I do”

“Keep it down. I find it distasteful when they become obnoxiously loud”. he waves his hand, dismissing the thought, and leaves.

My thoughts wander elsewhere, temporarily paralyzing me in place. I am taken by images of Jude’s body rocking against mine. In my nightmares, I never make Jude scandalous vocal. I did not think she would like to be heard; however, she was not morbidly silent either. No, in my nightmares Jude would whisper my name, and beg for more of me with a growl, the hatred she always looked upon me with would transmute into a fierce demanding in bed. Oh, I cannot allow theses thoughts while she is here with me. I take a deep breath, recovering my senses, remembering that Jude is heartbroken, and that we are trying to trust each other. That brings me happiness. She told me a big secret to gain my trust, so perhaps we are still friends.

I get back to my room and close the door behind me. Jude is lying in my bed, reading a book, the one about warriors and dragons. I leave her there while I bathe. It is almost dawn, and I am weary. Weary from worrying about Jude these past few days; if her body was recovering from the cut on her side, if she was still deeply sad and hurt by Locke and her sister, and what kind of spy she was. I am so tired and relaxed after this bath, that I almost forget to put on clothes to go back to my room. I put on a loose blue shirt and loose brown breeches that ends at my calf, with a hole so my tail can be free. I lay beside Jude and fall asleep right away.

———

It is still day time, although I have no idea how much time has passed since I started sleeping. Jude is crying silently, a lone tear at a time sliding down her soft cheek, her lashes drenched in teardrops. Is she sleeping? Maybe half conscious. I put my arm around her, and she shrinks momentarily, but allows me to keep hugging her. I pull her closer, and Jude looks at me briefly with her sad watering eyes, then lower her head to avoid me. I want to protect this vulnerable Jude, from the world, from me. Nonetheless, I am my own worst enemy, have always been. My hand caresses her head, my fingers untangle her long hair. Jude’s hands rest over my chest, perhaps she can feel how strong my heart is beating now. My tail made its way out of the blanket, and it is swaying idly, joyous. Even now Jude’s scent still lingers on her skin, only softer, mixed with my own scent.

I nudge her forehead with my nose, then kiss her brow. My heart is racing. I lick the tear running down her cheek bone, and Jude shudders an exhale. I take my hand and push the hair on her neck away in hopes that the cool air will help her relax, then I continue to run soothing strokes down her head and back. Jude’s shoulders relax, and I kiss the corner of her eye, nudge my nose into her cheek. Something in my stomach is twisting cold and hot. I kiss the corner of her mouth, her jaw, her chin. Our foreheads meet, I kiss the tip of her nose. Jude lifts her head a bit, and I finally kiss her mouth. I taste the salt of her tears. It is all of my nightmares of softness, and warmth. I lick her lower lip as she parts them, I brush my mouth against hers, then my tongue slowly pushes inside, dancing with hers. My whole body is tingling. I am kissing Jude Duarte.

Involuntary, I pull her closer, gingerly cradling her body to mine. Jude takes one arm away from my chest to hug me back, cuddling me. We keep kissing, pressing our bodies close until we fall asleep again.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter beta-read by the awesome Aida <3
> 
> Suggestion:  
> listen to “Wicked Game”/ Chris Isaak, or also the cover versions of HIM or Corey Taylor

[Cardan’s POV]

I wake up alone in my room, and I sigh. Did I just get rejected? Even if it is nothing new, the pain in my chest is, like a void sucking on every feeling but those associated with loneliness. Jude’s scent is still lingers on me, and foolish, I bring my arm to my face, to smell more of her scent clinging to my sleeve. We kissed, and it felt so good. Nothing else mattered, there was no one hurting her anymore, and Jude was kissing me back, running her hands over me so carefully. I miss the warmth of her hand over the fabric of my shirt. It all felt like something I could call home, however, it seems Jude didn’t feel the same.

With great dismay I get up from bed for basic hygiene. After relieving myself, washing hands and face, I stare at my reflection in the mirror. I am taken by surprise to see a piece of paper attached to the mirror frame. It is a note, and I recognize Jude’s handwriting, my heart starts beating fast to have something from her to keep.

_“I have to take care of some things, some might think I was captured or dead. I will return to Madoc’s estate after, It is not like my whole family betrayed me. Come spar with me again, or play with_ _Oak, Vivi and I._

_-J”_

What does it mean? Does it mean that we get to keep being friends? Could I possibly kiss Jude again? The thought excites me to no end. I am so anxious that I can’t concentrate on the book I am reading to pass time, so I start wandering the house, grabbing an apple in the kitchen. I can hear voices from Balekin’s study, but they are leaving the room, and there is Rhya with our brother. Her serious face changes into a grin at my sight.

“I was about to visit you”, she tells me. “It is a lovely night. Do you want to swim in the lake?”

A yawn escapes me.

“Are you inviting anyone else? I hate it when you do and do not tell me beforehand”

“I did invite Vivienne, but it seems her sister came back and they are having what she called ‘a family reunion’, so I hope I don’t bore you if it is just us”, Balekin rolls his eyes and walks away, back to his study.

“Fine, lets go swim then”

Rhya accompanies me to my room, so I grab a few things and put in my leather bag. We pass over the kitchen on the way out so I grab more food and wine from the cellar, and then we leave. The lake is close enough to walk there, and once we arrive, there is a dispute over who undresses first to jump into the water. Rhya tells me some of her latest adventures with her knights, guarding the kingdom’s safety, and reveling at others courts hospitality. We swim and compete, then we get to the shore to eat. She asks me about Nicasia, and I reassure Rhya that Nicasia is my friend and that I do not wish to marry her anymore, even if Balekin wishes so.

“Have you told him that yet?”

“I don’t think I need to”, I drink from the bottle of wine, and pass it over to her. “Balekin is not the king. And I think he will never be, our father favors Dain the most”

“What if Balekin convinces Dain that this marriage is a good opportunity? A great union between land and the sea?”

“Which side are you on, sister?”

“The kingdom’s side”, she shrugs. “But it would not be so unfortunate if you did not wed Nicasia. I am just thinking about what Queen Orlagh might do when we change the High King”

We keep talking until the bottle of wine and the food are over, Rhya says her goodbye and we part ways. I want to see Jude, but I feel that I have to let her spend time with her family, so they can sort things out.

\--

Is a day too soon? Jude didn’t attend lessons today, so I don’t have much of a choice if I want to see her. I am already in the front door of Madoc’s estate, although I can still turn back and leave. Looking around, I spot my coachman talking to a stable servant, why would I spoil their conversation? Three knocks on the front door, and a servant receives me with a curtsy. I am led to wait in the living room. However, soon after I see the top of a horned, curly blond head turning around the couch in a hurry. Oak jumps on me.

“CAAARDAN! Jude is back!”

Oriana immediately shows up in the room after hearing my name being shouted. I am doing my best to not laugh at how disoriented she looks, trying to curtsy and to get Oak off of me.

“It is alright, Oriana, Oak is my friend” I tell her.

“Even if that is so, my prince, Oak should learn to behave...”, her motherly tone makes me fond of her. Oak turns his face into my chest, hiding, bringing me to an impasse of which side to take. Perhaps Oriana realizes it, smiling kindly. “Alright, friends are excused!”

Oak giggles.

“You are my friend, are you not?”, I ask Oak, tickling his sides and belly. He squirms and laughs. Oriana laughs with us, and I am surprised by my joy.

“Lets go to her room!”, Oak jumps back to the ground, holds my hand and starts pulling me.

Oak is smaller than other kids of his age, and I find it cute how his little hand can only grip three of my fingers to drag me around. We leave Oriana behind, and Oak knocks on Jude’s door without any patience. I see a lot of my younger self in him, perhaps my actual self wishes to knock on the door just like him. Jude opens the door, her hair mussed about her face as if she just got up from bed. She is wearing a loose shirt and trousers. She looks beautiful and so adorably rumpled, I almost want to laugh. I have never seen her in such a way, and I hope it is the first time of many.

“I told you I had to sleep a bit before playing hide and seek again, Oak”

“Cardan is here!”, Oak points me out.

Jude’s eyes evaluate me, and she sighs. I was not expecting this kind of reaction. Am I boring her. Should I just leave? Maybe Jude wrote me the note out of politeness, since I had saved her. She can lie, so it is not like she meant that she truly wanted me to come visit her. Jude opens the door so we can enter, and Oak runs to jump on her bed. She vanishes into the restroom, leaving me with my thoughts.

If she does not wish to keep our friendship, then I must preserve everything I can in my memory. Taking a deep breath to inhale her scent, a witless idea crosses my mind: I could steal an item of her clothing so as to keep her scent. I dismiss the thought, clearing my throat and keeping my dignity. The room is a mess, as usual. I take a walk around, inspecting the contents on her desk. Mostly, there are papers with her handwriting, and by the written lines, it seems Jude was studying strategies of this old general Uon.

“So, lets play outside, or Oriana is going to yell at us again. Did you call Vivi?”, she enters back in her room.

Jude has twisted her hair and tied it in a bun with a hairpin, exposing her neck. I wonder how it would feel like if I were to kiss her there. Oak jumps down from the bed, running to the hallway, screaming “Vivi”.

“So, how was everything?” I ask her. I hope my voice does not incriminate how nervous I feel. “Did people think you were a ghost?”

She chuckles.

“We have that one already! No, they thought I just went home and faced my family problems. I have now, faced it somehow”, Jude shrugs. “Madoc told me Taryn is scared of me because I slapped her. A slap! It wasn’t even a good punch, like you got to experience during training. Since she is going to marry Locke anyways, she has been sleeping there with him. Which is good, because I don’t know how to live with her again”

“If you ever need it, know that you can come to my room again. We are friends, are we not?” I feel foolish asking her the same question I asked her brother, the weight of it is totally different now.

Jude’s eyes meet mine. I can see she is conflicted, but there is a great deal of conflicted thoughts to be had.

“If my word is worth anything, then yes, we are friends. I hope so... You saved me, and haven’t given me away to your family, telling them that you found a spy. You could have had an opportunity to show them that you can accomplish deeds as a prince, and receive their approval in something, but you chose to keep it to yourself, which is quite selfless on your part”

“You do have a point”, I step closer. Jude’s words are taking away the weight on my chest, and bringing back my side that likes to tease her. “Should I trade my _dear_ friend for my family’s attention?”

“ _That_ is more like you”, Jude’s mouth slightly curves in a smirk.

“Oh, but I would lose all the fun if I gave you away”, another step closer, and now the joke is on me, falling for my own tease. I wonder if we could be friends that kiss with certain frequency. “Has it not occurred to you that I have not announced to the world that Jude Duarte is a spy, because I _am_ being selfish?”, my voice comes out softly, my breath kissing her skin. The challenge in her eyes change, once she gazes to my mouth. Is it an invitation? I swallow hard.

“JUUUDE!”, Oak comes screaming until he reaches the door, and we turn to look at him, breaking the spell that was captivating us. “Vivi started counting, lets RUN!”

Jude gives him a mischievous smile, then looks at me still smiling:

“Will you play?”

I nod, and we run out of the house. We hide separately, I didn’t see where they went. I am hiding by the stables, and watch as Vivienne comes out of the door wearing human clothes. It is a trouser with a thick fabric and a shirt with an image in the front, and a strange kind of boot that I heard being called _converse_ shoes once. Her eyes wander all over the yard while Vivienne thinks of possible hiding places. She comes straight to me, as if she knew I was here, and I start running, but Vivienne catches me, laughing.

“You are bad at this!”, she tells me, and runs away to find the others.

I watch her go through the nearest trees, and Oak is there. He screams once he is caught, and starts laughing as he walks towards me. Vivienne takes a while to find Jude, up in a tree. Jude is faster than Vivienne, and she reaches the door, placing her hand against it.

“Jude’s free!”, she shouts her own name, and laughs at her tired sister. “Who is next to count?”

“The prince”, Vivienne answers.

“You have to go by the door, close your eyes and count”, Oak tells me, and I do as he says.

I give them time enough to hide, and when I open my eyes, I find myself alone. The possible places to hide are the stables, behind the house and between the trees. Oak is the first one that I catch, hiding in the same place he was before. I find Jude and Vivienne, but both of them manage to run from me and free themselves from the game. We play a few times more, until Madoc arrives, not surprised to find me here playing. Oriana invites me to dine with them, but I politely decline. Jude is fine, is talking to me, and that is all I had come here for.

Madoc tells me to come back to train with them four days from now. Jude was reading a book he had lent her, which explains Jude’s desk contents, and after she finishes reading, they would return the training. He caught me off guard, I was not expecting Madoc wanting me near.

“Yes, I would love to”, I manage to answer.

“Oh, but we shall see you again the day after tomorrow, at the revel, my prince!”, Oriana says enthusiastically.

I meet Jude’s eyes.

“Will you be there?”

“I do plan to be”, she answers with a smirk.

I look at the others in the eye, nodding, and leave the house. Isn’t the night sky pretty tonight? And the cool breeze is so nice against my skin!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cardan having a family lovely time with Jude's family is so cute hehe  
> I hope you guys enjoy seeing him being happy like this, another side of him.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter beta-read by the awesome Aida <3
> 
> You could listen to "Titanium"/ David Guetta feat. Sia, to feel the mood a bit more. 

[Jude’s POV]

Even if I get up, I don’t want to attend lessons. Taryn and Locke will be there, and I don’t want to see them. So instead, I head to the Court of Shadows. The Roach is here, and doesn’t ask me about classes. I like that he is practical. His feet are over the couch, and there is a book in his hand, but it is in a language that I don’t know.

“Want to try those tricks I showed you the other night?”, he asks me.

“Yes!”

It is about slight of hand, that I have to direct the person’s attention to one thing while my hand slips in their pocket to steal. The Roach steals all my knives while telling me what he is doing, and I feel frustrated that I can’t prevent even one of his attempts. We do that over and over, then I try to rob him, but he catches me every single time.

“This is so hard!”

“You are too obvious! Be more subtle!”

Only it is not easy to be subtle with him, it is never enough. We stop practicing to eat, then he leaves me alone so he can go work on something. I wait out the time for classes to end there, drumming my fingers over the table, sitting, thinking. Cardan. He is the reason that I am able to talk about Taryn without crying again. It confuses me, all this trust that I have come to have in him. Me, trusting Cardan Greenbriar. He found out that I am a spy, but had done nothing of it; if anything, he liked the idea. And I could see it, his obsidian eyes glittering at me, fascinated. Or melting, desiring me. What had happened to him? Cardan’s gaze was so intense that sometimes I just want to fling myself into his arms so he would have me right there. And his tail? The thing incriminates him, and now I know why he keeps it hidden.

Cardan comforted me with all the care of a lover... It burned me. If I started out crying of loneliness before, I kept crying because of his overwhelming warmth. My face is a tingling blaze at the memory of his kisses. Locke was a good kisser, great even. But Cardan... kissing Cardan felt like real intimacy, and to be held in his arms… I have never felt so safe. Ironically. I couldn’t believe it was happening. I thought that would be it, that it would be enough, but now that I have tasted it, I just want more. When Cardan showed up at my door, I was disappointed at myself to discover, then, how I wanted more of him. But it is _Cardan_ , he must have others to exchange passionate kisses with. However, he decided to trust me, to be my friend, so maybe I could take advantage of it. I want to see him. It is almost the end of lessons.

I sneak out of the Court of Shadows’ corridors, and walk to the courtyard, then to the woods, away from the palace and on the way to Hollow Hall. Up in a tree. I am wearing boots, trousers and a shirt, which makes it easier to move between branches. Now I wait. Maybe I can make fun of Cardan later on, about how he looks all conceited in a chariot. A few gentry classmates pass me by without noticing me, and then there he is, _walking_. Cardan walks idly, his leather bag has a single shoulder strap, crossing his chest. He is wearing a black shirt, sleeves folded to his elbows, a leather bracelet on his wrist, hands in his pockets. His trousers are a dark shade of grey, and his boots are black and go up to his calf. Cardan is beautiful. The silver circlet he is wearing has leaves shaped into it, set at an angle upon his brow. I smile thinking of him placing it on his head, in front of the mirror.

Cardan passes me without care. It is a good thing no one thinks of Cardan as a threat, even if he is a prince, because it could be so easy to kill him! I move from my branch, jump to the floor silently, then grab him and drag him off of the road. I pin Cardan against the tree, my hand over his mouth. He looks so scared, and it rings an old pleasure in me. Sweet revenge. Cardan finally recognizes me, relaxing his shoulders and hands on my wrist, but his eyes are still angry.

“Scaredy cat”, I mock him, and laugh at his hate.

His eyes change as he plots something. Cardan covers my hand with both of his, forcibly hold my hand to his face, and bites down on my palm. _Hard_. I cry out, and use my other hand to squeeze his jaw, enough for him to open his mouth so I can free myself. His teeth leave deep purple marks.

“You are insane!”

“Do not do that to me again”, he answers, massaging his own jaw. “Don’t forget that I know how to be cruel, even if you know how to kill”

I growl at him, frustrated, squeezing my hand to try ease the pain.

“You could not wait to see me at the revel, could you? Even if it is later tonight”, I hear the smile in his voice, and raise my head to look at him, “‘It seems as though our friendship has only added fuel to the fire. Maybe it is some kind of sickness, a mutant disease that can grow and change its form, but it is still here”

“How you must be suffering, without my presence in lessons, no one to torment!” I try to smile, but my hand is still pulsing in pain.

Cardan grins, his hair dancing with the breeze, blending with the darkness of the night.

“I thought you commuted by chariot”, I find his eyes in the dark through the golden rim’s shine.

“Is it strange that I like to walk?” Cardan lifts a brow on his presumptuous face, and chuckles. “I do commute by chariot, however, sometimes I prefer to walk. It helps me think when there is too much to process”

“Oh, so that is what some of you lack: a good long walk to think!”

Cardan narrows his eyes, and I give him a wide grin in return.

“Do you want to hang out now?”, he asks. “Or let me walk you home? At least allow me that.”

“Ok, walk me home, my prince”

I can see his eyes simmering, at ‘my prince’, and it provokes a foreign heat in my belly. As we walk, Cardan tells me what I have been missing in the lessons. Some prophecies that he finds boring. It seems Valerian is ‘with’ a pixie now, and they perform intense passionate kisses during lunch breaks.

“At least she has not called out my name while they are into it. I imagine it would be awkward”

I stare at him aghast, “How can you joke about it? It was awful!”

“Please Jude, have a good sense of humor, will you?” he waves his hand, as if dismissing my commentary.

We reach Madoc’s estate, and stop to look at each other.

“You will find me easily”, Cardan says. “I will be the indecently handsome faerie prince your eyes unconsciously search for”

He brushes the knuckle of a finger across my chin, and leaves. Cardan is so full of himself! And I can’t say anything back, because he is right. _Damn it_.

\--

Vivi is watching me while Tatterfell is doing my hair.

“Are you sure you won’t freak out seeing Taryn and Locke at the revel?”

She is wearing a glittering black gown, with a slit exposing her entire left leg, and her black Converse. Even if Vivi is attending the revel, there are still other means to provide annoyance to Madoc.

“Yes, and it doesn’t mean that I will be close to them, nor talk to them. We will be in the same room, with a lot of people around”

“Promise me that if you feel like punching Taryn, you will walk away? It won’t be good for you to go punching her, it would hurt her of course, but I know it would hurt you more! Isn’t that right, Tatterfell?”

“Vivienne is being wise, you should listen to her”, Tatterfell answers, “I put a knot in your hair, Jude. For peace".

I stand and approach the mirror to look at her work. Tatterfell made a braid that starts on the top left side of my head, wraps around my head and finishes draped over the right side of my chest, with little white flowers intertwined. I am wearing an emerald green gown, without sleeves nor strap, it is tight from my waist up, and loose my waist down. Vivi made me wear green Converse. I can see Taryn staring back at me in the mirror for a second, and I turn away from it.

The brugh is filled with people, making Oak excited. We make our way to the dais, curtsying to our king. Vivi pulls me away from Madoc, Oriana and Oak, our arms linked together. She spots Rhya, and as we reach her, I curtsy. The princess likes our shoes, and asks Vivi to give her a pair. Vivi starts telling Rhya of the whole world of human shoe styles. Rhya’s reaction is funny, a mixture of intrigued and bewildered. We walk to the tables, fetching some food. Vivi gives me her cup of wine so I can take a sip of it, but that is all I am going to drink of wine. Faerie wine is too strong for humans, and the last time I had much of it, I ended up making some _very_ questionable choices regarding Cardan. I feel the heat in my cheek at the memory of it.

My heart sinks in pain a second after, watching Taryn and Locke talking with Oriana. I feel dizzy, my hands sweating. I grit my teeth and force myself to look away, and I find a pair of eyes staring me. So dark as to be frightening, but instead, those eyes are making me want to close the distance between us. Cardan is far, by the table on the opposite side of me, a sea of people between us. He is wearing a black cloak with raven feathers on his shoulders, gold on his cheeks, a simple golden circlet at an angle over his brow, and kohl under his eyes. Cardan must know that the kohl highlights the intensity of his gaze, making me even more conscious of him. As if it was needed; as if I was not attracted enough. A dark grey shirt with a neckline that exposes a lot of skin, usual black trousers and black boots tipped with excessively pointed metal toes. We keep staring at each other, but I hear movement, and turn my head to see Locke and Taryn approaching me.

“I will see you later”, I tell Vivi, and don’t wait for her answer.

I cross the crowd to reach him, not caring that I am the one going after him. For bizarre events, Cardan now is somewhat my safe point.

“Breath”, he says as soon as I reach him.

I do.

“Take me away from them. Dance with me”, I ask.

Cardan takes my arm in his, leaving his empty acorn cup behind.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter beta-read by the awesome Aida <3
> 
> This one is a bit hot *cheeky smile*  
> Suggestion: listen to Muse/"Hysteria".

[Cardan’s POV]

Nicasia is wearing a blue dress the exact shade of her hair. She is telling me that her mother was upsetting her again about Undersea matters, as a princess, Nicasia has duties to fulfill.

“Queen Orlagh must be in haste, since the rumors of my father’s abdication are growing”, I pour us wine, and give her a cup. “We have to be glad since our families are still only suggesting, and not compelling us to anything yet. I fear it is going to get worse when my father finally steps back from the throne”

“At least one of my possibilities is to end up marrying you”, Nicasia teasingly winks at me, and I laugh.

Her eyes spot someone in the crowd, and her face turns into mischief.

“Go on”, I tell her. “I do not wish to bore you”

“Oh, Cardan, I am sure you are looking for your pet, too”, Nicasia gives me a last charming smile and leaves me.

The people surrounding me shrink back in fear as I walk, or give me side looks of disdain. It would usually incite me to be cruel, but I am not on the edge of my nerves tonight. I refill my cup, stopping by a table, and I spot Jude. I watch fear cloud on Jude’s face once she sees Taryn, and I feel excited once her face changes when her eyes find me. Jude is stunning in this gown, her shoulders are completely exposed, making me think about covering them in kisses. Then Locke and Taryn attempt to approach Jude, and she panics. I thought she would run away, but she comes to me. What a kind gesture to my wicked heart. We are dancing now, laughing together because she is not very good at dancing. It is an upbeat song, we cross legs and jump, spin and hold hands. Then a slower song starts, and I pull Jude closer by her waist, her hands are over my shoulders.

“Tell me what you are thinking”, I ask her.

“I am thinking...”, she hesitates, then smiles at me. “That dancing with human shoes is better than with slippers”

“You could wear boots, I highly recommend it”

“Your boots are weapons. Those vicious points!”

“I would wager you are carrying weapons of your own”

Jude glares at me, and I grin.

“Are you sure you want to find out?”, she asks me.

The memory of being assaulted by her brings me shame, and I let out a low snarl in annoyance, which makes Jude chuckle. Still holding her waist, I lead us out of the dancing crowd. She tries to go back to the dance floor, as every human enchanted by faerie dance does, but I keep my grip firm, and Jude ends up following me. A servant passes us with a tray of wine cups, and I take two, passing one to Jude.

“I shouldn’t drink any more”, she tells me.

“If you prefer. In that case you can just hold the cup, and I will drink it after I finish my own”

She laughs at me. I want to kiss her again.

“Now you tell me what you are thinking”, Jude narrows her eyes, still smirking.

“I don’t want to ruin the fun by telling you that, brave Jude” I give her my smug smile, and Jude rolls her eyes.

Then her expression changes, and I look where her eyes went. Taryn and Locke are dancing and laughing together. My mood deflates a little.

“You still love him”

“ _What_?”, Jude scoffs, incredulous. I turn to meet her eyes again, confusion written on my face. “No, I don’t love Locke! I never did”, she snorts. “You think I am upset because of him?”

“Well, he played you”, I shrug, not understanding her anger.

“Yes, he did. But that is not why I have been so upset for so long. He is a faerie, a part of me was always expecting him to leave me or trick me somehow”, Jude says with spite, and I feel the words like a lash. Does she think the same of me? The possibility sits uneasy upon my mind. “But Taryn?”, the pain in her eyes takes me from my selfish thoughts back to her. Is it alright if I hug Jude? She shakes her head, recovering her calm by herself. “Cardan, my sister’s betrayal is what _hurts_ me. And even after she betrayed me so badly, I still love her”

“Perhaps you both will find your way back to each other”

Jude looks at me astonished. Of course, Cardan Greenbriar was not a kind man. Not the one she knew. But I am. There are just not enough opportunities to show it, since I am, also, the cruel man that Jude knows. Someone approaches us, and I turn to see Valerian and his pixie girl. Tall, slender, delicate features, green skin, long straight black hair and tiny wings on her back. She is all that Valerian prizes as good qualities of the Folk.

“I think I missed a part of the story”, his voice with a sneer, “Did you and Locke decide to share the fun?”

“No, I brought his game to end”, I tell him with an emotionless face.

“What is this then? Are you taking his left overs?”

I put my hand on his shoulder and my grip makes him shrink. I approach his face and smile at him.

“You bore me Valerian. Do not forget who I am. Do not presume to pass judgment upon my company or myself. You may be a favored child of the nobility, but you will always be second to me. _Leave_.”

I release my grip on his shoulder and glower at him. If it were any other time, I would have struck him. But I am not in the mood for the consequences of striking Valerian right now. He glares at me with hatred, then glares Jude. The pixie beside him tries to soothe him as they turn to leave. I finish my cup, and leave it by the table. I take the cup from Jude’s hand, but it appears to be empty.

“Did you drink my wine, Jude?”

“I didn’t want to punch Valerian”, she tells me with a frown. “So I must have unconsciously drank it”

Jude narrows her eyes, trying to focus on mine. Once she does, she grins. I cannot help myself but laugh. Jude is drunk already.

“Lets dance again!”, she demands. “I have rested. And you can take me out to rest again later!”

“Is that how you ask me to dance? I was expecting something more along the lines of ‘Oh my prince, would you do me the great honor of dancing with me, so that I may become better acquainted with your delectable body’”

Jude is genuinely laughing at me, and I find her adorable. She grabs my hand, I leave the cup behind and follow her. We start out just making fun of each other, then Jude tries to dance more serious. The rhythm changes and I change my moves. Surprisingly, Jude drunk is a better dancer, more bold. Wherever she touches me, her hands glides with purpose, she makes dramatics encounters of our bodies, and gets so close that our mouths almost meet. I hold her waist, and she lifts a leg. My other hand holds her thigh over my waist, and she arches her back, bending back slightly. I feel my member throb, and suddenly my trousers are too tight for me.

When she slowly makes her way back up, I run my nose across her neck, savoring her scent. Jude gasps, and I smile against her neck. My hand frees her thigh, I take a step back and spin Jude, stopping her with her back turned to me. My hands go to her hips, and drag her flush against my body. I brush my lips over the nape of her neck and exposed shoulder. Jude’s smooth skin provokes a heat in my stomach. I am not drunk, but I feel like it, lost to this sensation that there is only me, Jude, and the music. We sway our bodies, provoking a friction that boils my blood, and I groan lowly in her ear. Jude spins, we hold hands and waltz, her eyes locked on mine, daring me to do more obscene moves.

She spins in place, her body rotating against mine. I stop her, one leg between hers and pull her closer with intent, and she deliberately grinds down onto my thigh and member. We waltz again as the rhythm starts changing. Jude is panting, but I think it is not just from our provocations. I take Jude by her waist again, to the gardens of the palace where there are less people. We reach an empty bench, and Jude immediately sits on it.

“Do you want some water?”, I ask her.

“No, I just need to sit here and rest a bit. Will you sit here with me?”

I do. She is sweating now, looking even more tired than before.

“I should have realized that you were tired sooner ”

“I made it difficult for you”, she shakes her head, denying something untold, and laughs.

“What? Tell me”, I try to find her eyes, smiling just because she is laughing, but she avoids me.

“I was going to say, _‘I made it hard for you’_. That’s why I laughed”, she chortles and covers her face with her hands, embarrassed.

Now I am laughing at her.

“ _Jude_. How delightfully vulgar.” I smile roguishly down at her.

“I know!”

“Can I tell you something that I thought of as well, then?”, she turns her face to me, the humor still there.

“Only if it will make you embarrassed like me! Humor me, Prince Cardan!”

She always says ‘Prince Cardan’, or ‘my prince’ with such debauchery, and I shudder unintentionally.

“I have this terrible idea. I want to kiss you, Jude... and more”, and I am terribly embarrassed to say so.

Jude smiles timidly, and gets up, holding out her hand. I take it, and she leads us to the woods. We walk a good distance from the palace, until I can’t hear the revel anymore. Suddenly, Jude turns and pushes me against a tree. She looks me in the eyes, then at my mouth.

“You desire me”, I tell her, amused and aroused to see it on her face.

“And you desire me, you did even when you hated me most”

“You were my worst nightmare”, I confess, staring at her full lips.

“Wake up, my prince”, Jude brushes her mouth over mine, “see how much worse I can be with you awake” she whispers.

I kiss her. My arms embrace Jude, and she holds my cheeks briefly, then puts a hand in my hair and the other on my back. I grip her ass, pulling her against the hardness of my lower half, groaning into her mouth. All those nightmares were poor of detail, they fell short in sensations. How the firmness of her ass and its fullness would be like under my hand, making me yearn to touch her under the fabric of this dress. I start kissing her neck, salty with her sweat, but her sweet scent still lingers on her skin. Jude lets out a low moan in my ear, and I purr.

“You know, I kept thinking” Jude says, uneven breath while I keep kissing her collarbone, “about the truth or dare game, the dare in which you had to count from one to ten”

“I remember it”, I answer against her skin. “What about it?”

“Ariadne asked me to touch you _there_ , but I did it over your trousers” I do like where her thoughts are going, and groan kissing her cleavage, the anticipation of reaching her breasts arouses me. “If you had that reaction with my hand over your trouser, I wonder what would it be like, if my hand went underneath it”

And there it is, her hand is inside my trousers. _Jude’s fucking hand i_ _s on my_ _bare fucking_ _cock._ A loud moan escapes me. I fall back to lean against the tree, feeling weak, my hands rush to loosen my trousers and free myself. Jude is delicately holding it, so lightly, inexperienced, nervous. I reach out to cup her face, then hold her neck to pull her closer and kiss her. She is so gentle with her kisses, switching between soft touches all over my lips, my chin, the corner of my mouth, and some with more pressure, sliding her tongue over my lower lip, nipping it. My other hand reaches down to show her how to hold my length, the right pressure, the right rhythm. I feel it pulsing with desire, heat spreading to my whole body. Jude steals glances at me, checking my expressions to see if she is doing it right. Why did I ever hate her?

My whole body is tingling, and I am sure Jude has no idea that she has undone me, touch by touch, I feel more like her subject than I have ever felt any power as a royal. Without knowing what to make of my limbs, I give in to the irresistible hunger, putting both my hands on her hips, pulling her to me. I trail my tongue along her neck, giving a light bite to her shoulder, a lover’s touch. Jude uses her free hand to grab my hair, and I like it, tilting my head to give what she is demanding. She sucks on my neck, then reaches my ear, sucking on my earlobe.

“Jude...”, my voice is a hoarse whisper, a warning that I want her.

“I thought that if you liked licking my ear, perhaps you would like it if I did the same to you”, her soft voice sends goose flesh across my body, “Oh, it seems not just licking, but sweet talking too.”, she licks the border of my ear, pulling my head down with her grip on my hair so she can reach every inch, this short talented human girl. Then sucks on the point of my ear. “Tell me, Cardan. How does it feel to be this defenseless in my hand? To be melting over the voice of your long hated enemy?”

Her tongue dips inside my ear, and I squeeze her ass in return. Jude's hand continues stroking me, setting me alight. It feels so good. My mouth is watering, wishing for her tongue, but Jude’s grip in my hair won’t let me.

“Where are your presumptuous answers, sweet Cardan?”

“ _Kiss me_ ”, my breath hitches.

“Oh, was it not you who told me something about begging?”, Her tongue is inside my ear again. “Be kind to me and teach me how to beg. Show me how it is done”, more tongue. “Beg for me, Cardan”

I growl at her, and Jude giggles, nudging her nose into my cheek. She licks my lips, but when I reach my tongue out, her grip in my hair holds me back. Jude looks at me, biting her bottom lip as if she enjoys what she sees. She tightens her grip on my cock, and my eyes roll back in pleasure. I feel her mouth back at my ear.

“Beg me to kiss you, _my prince_ ”

 _“Jude_ _”_ , I pant her name. _Fuck_ , this is so good.

Tongue.

“I thought you knew what you were talking about”, more tongue.

“Kiss me, Jude!” I growl, my hand reaches her face, turning it so she can face me. I use my glamour on her “ _Kiss me_!”

Jude looks aroused by it, and gives me a drunken smile.

“That is not begging”

I laugh in exasperation. But I am not going to give in to her. Instead, I push down the neckline of her dress, and groan at the sight of her pale breasts as they sway. Jude gasps, shocked that I am suddenly aggressive. I roll my eyes in pleasure again, then bury my face into her right breast, sucking on the tip, hard.

“ _Cardan!”_ , her sweet voice is a whimper, melting me.

She tastes delicious, and the sensations on my tongue and palate are incredible. My hand kneads her left breast, and I bite her, sucking bruises onto her delicate flesh. All soft, and full. Jude’s grip on my cock fails, breathless with what I am doing to her. It arouses me more. I hold her waist with one arm firm, keep sucking on her breast, and use the other hand over hers on my member, stroking it together. I could not dream of how Jude tasted like, or how her breast would cushion my face as I press it against her body. The sounds escaping my throat are genuine pleasure. She holds my hair, letting me circle my tongue around her nipple, and suck it into my mouth again. I lift my head for a moment, admiring the sheen of my saliva on her skin, then kiss her mouth, and Jude allows me. I let go of her hand to keep kneading her breast, pinching her nipple.

“Faster”, I groan between ravenous kisses.

And she obeys. Her breasts are glorious, my hands cannot cover them fully. She is moaning for me. Oh, I am reaching my peak. Since I don’t wish to dirty her dress, I take her hand off of me and turn to the tree, stroking myself, just in time to release it all, murmuring her name. Still panting, I take a handkerchief from a pocket in my cloak and use it to clean my hand. We straighten our clothes, but Jude has my golden powder smudged all over her. My body feels weak, still tingling, while my heart flutters. What we just did... It fed something in my chest, and I cannot name it.

“Let me walk you home”, I tell her. “If you go back to the palace, everyone will know what we have done. I wouldn’t mind, but I think you would”

Jude nods, still out of breath and I kiss her, just because.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, leaving kudos and I love your comments <3


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter beta-read by the awesome Aida <3
> 
> Hot stuff ahead.

[Jude’s POV]

Cardan stopped by the garden, and I did not understand why. His hands were in his pockets. Those clever hands. All the gold powder smeared over his face, and I knew most of it was on me, not just my face, but my breasts as well. I felt a flush color my cheeks, aware that it was too late to feel embarrassment. Cardan was gazing me, probably absorbing what we had done. Closer to the house there was more light coming from the outside lamps, and we could see each other better. Since he had come to a complete stop, I was confused.

“I thought you would want to keep tormenting me”, I tried to joke with him, “hang out. I don’t know”.

“If I go inside, I will try to have you”.

“Oh”.

He gave me a grin full of teeth. And I wanted to kiss him again.

“Although”, Cardan kept smiling, “You could do me a tremendous favor”.

“Which is it?”

“Have wet dreams of me, Jude”, He bit his lower lip, watching me flush. “Go on, enter the house”

I didn’t know how to answer, so I did as he told me. I already took a bath, washing all of his golden powder off of me. But, I cannot make myself relax; rolling over in my bed, giggling to myself. Foolish girl, recalling all of our kisses and touches. I hear my family arriving home, and walk to the balcony to show them I am home and alright. Madoc is carrying a sleepy Oak, and smiles at me:

“Did you have fun?” I return his smile.

“Were you hoping that I would kill Locke tonight?”

“It would have made for a spectacular revel!”, Madoc winks at me, and I laugh.

Vivi climbs the stairs and takes me by the hand, dragging me to her room. She closes her door and starts undressing while talking.

“I didn’t see much of it, but it was hard not to notice... What was that dance with Cardan, Jude?”

Her cat eyes find me. I can see she is excited and confused at the same time, and I feel my cheek flame in embarrassment.

“I don’t know, okay? It is all confusing for me too”, I tell her, and accompany her to her bathing chamber, sitting in a chair while she enters her tub.

“It was like you were having sex, right there!”, Vivi waves her hands in exasperation. “But it was not _vulgar_ , exactly. A seduction game, perhaps. Do you like him now? I know you started liking him as a friend, but... Have you fallen in love with Cardan?”

My hands are sweating, heart racing. This question is making me sick.

“It is not possible...”, I try, carefully. My sister evaluates me. “I confess that I do feel attracted, in an indecent manner. But it is not _falling in love_ ”

“Are you trying to deny it because you find it wrong to fall in love with him? You know I won’t judge you like that. It is quite reasonable, actually. Cardan was there when you needed someone to be there for you, and you two have a whole background of tormenting each other. I heard it is common to fall for someone who you once felt hate for, if you get to know the person better and starts to see who the person really is”

“I am not trying to deny it”, I tell her, feeling slightly angry. “And if I were, I would start by listing all the reasons I shouldn’t fall for Cardan. Like, for instance, if he finds out, he could use it to torment me and be cruel to me again”

Vivi gives me a dull look.

“Do you really think so? Think Jude, think now that you know him. Cardan might try to hurt you, because he has grown up without love, but he wouldn’t hurt you _because_ you love him...”, She stops to think. “Perhaps if he finds out, and does not love you like that, he will just try to back off. Something like stop talking to you. Look, Cardan is not easy to deal with, but he is not someone who plays with people’s heart”

No, that is Locke, and Taryn.

“So what? Are you telling me it is fine to fall for Cardan, or are you telling me to back off?”

“Oh Jude, you have fallen for him!”

I feel like crying. Angry, ashamed, scared. Vivi reaches out her hand and I hold it. She squeezes my hand with care.

\--

Madoc had invited Cardan to train, so here we are to spar again. Madoc is not taking it easy. It is a punishment for my running away from home, but since I was not lazying about and working as a spy, I am not feeling much of Madoc’s intense attacks. On the other hand, Cardan is suffering a lot, and I want to laugh at him. Once Madoc finishes the training, he enters the house and leave us by ourselves.

“How can you get so bad again, just because of a couple of weeks without training?”, I ask Cardan, “come, let me deliver you to my little brother”

He follows me inside the house, and Oak instantly appears at the balcony, eager to play with Cardan. Vivi stands behind him, relieved that Oak will get someone else to play with. She wants to go meet Heather.

“Are the two of you ready for Oak? We were playing ‘pirates’ ”, Vivi tell us as we climb up the stairs.

“Actually, I want a bath”, I raise my arms, showing dark circles of sweat underneath, “I feel disgusting”

“EW” Cardan looks at me offended, and I start laughing, so does Oak.

Vivi scrunches her nose, and shows me her tongue. She heads back to her room, and Oak jumps into Cardan’s arms. How silly of me, wanting to jump in his arms too.

“Won’t you come back to lessons?”, Cardan asks me.

I meet his eyes. I could come back if he were to keep by my side. But he wouldn’t. Cardan might be my friend now, but he has other friends. And to be alone means that Taryn could try to approach me, and I don’t want her close. Madoc has already talked to me, telling me to go back. But I can’t. Taryn... She is too much to take.

“Not yet”, I tell him.

“Come hang out with me then. Tomorrow, after lessons. And I would prefer no more play attempts at murder”

I laugh again, and enter my room, letting Oak have his playtime with his friend.

\--

I snuck into Hollow Hall easily, and I am lying in Cardan’s bed, reading the book that I had started when he let me stay here. As I hear someone getting closer to the door on the outside, I hide behind his wardrobe. There is more than one voice. Is he _with_ someone? Was he expecting to have sex now? Where should I go? I should have thought about the possibility! I’m so stupid! The door opens.

“...so you had better keep up with your training”, It is Balekin’s voice.

“You want me to be a warrior, then you want to marry me off, now you want to do both! Brother, you should rethink your strategies if they depend upon me so heavily”, Cardan enters the room, alone to my great relief.

“Did you not say you loved her? It ought not be a problem to marry Nicasia”

My stomach contorts.

“Loved, yes. Past tense”, Cardan keeps a hand over his door’s knob.

I feel relieved again. I am not fond of how my emotions swing with his words. Fuck Vivi and her falling in love thing. I take a step forward, to show Cardan that I am here. I do not wish to keep eavesdropping. Cardan almost gives me away when he spots me, but manages to regain his scowl and face his brother.

“I am training with general Madoc. Can’t we leave it at that?”

“Let us see if Madoc can perform a miracle on you”, Balekin snorts, and leaves.

Cardan closes his door, and sighs.

“You know, most of the times that I went after you was because I was infuriated with Balekin”, he tells me without looking at me. Cardan takes his leather bag off of his shoulder, and places it on a hook on the wall. “It might not be safe for you to be around me right now”

“Do you want to hurt me?”, I am perplexed.

Cardan goes to a chiffonier, and takes off his golden circlet to put it down.

“No...”, he answers.

“I don’t know what you mean, then”

He gives a long sigh, again. What is it? Cardan turns to me. His eyes devour me. Lust and anger. Mostly lust.

“Oh”, I let out, as I understand.

“ _Oh”_ , Cardan clenches his jaw.

I don’t know what to do. What I _want_ to do. I am enticed by his face. Perhaps it shows on mine, because Cardan is coming closer. He is giving me plenty of time to run, but I can’t; I don’t want to. Cardan is so close now, I have to look up to keep sustaining his gaze, his mouth hovering so close that his breath is a kiss already.

“Why are you daring me, Jude? Do you still hate me?”, he asks in soft tone.

“To dare you must mean that I hate you? Does it mean that you are still struggling with yourself? Does it mean that it disgusts you to desire me?”

“I do not feel disgust anymore”, his confession is a whisper. “You keep daring me to do what I want to do...”, Cardan closes his eyes, as if an internal battle rages, and slowly opens his eyes again to gaze me. “I just might”

His mouth meets mine in a fierce kiss. The only part of our bodies touching. He grazes his teeth over my lower lip, provoking tingling down my body. His tongue comes right after, invading me, inviting me. When his hands finally touch me, holding my face in place, my own hands get eager for more of his touch, pulling his firm body closer. Cardan steals a glance at me with ravenous eyes as he feasts on his prey. My body turns to jelly, it is possible that my legs will soon fail me. Desire pools in my center.

My hands find the hem of his loose dark red shirt, and slide underneath it, feeling his warm skin, and muscles. Cardan groans against my mouth, and I answer with a groan myself. I want more. Cardan’s hands are on my back, unbuttoning my dress, and as it loosens I am suddenly aware of what I am allowing. Cardan must have felt me stiffen, because he hesitates and meets my eyes. Should I stop it now? We are both taking uneven breathes.

“Jude?”, his soft voice incites me, and I shut my eyes involuntary.

I feel his hands on my waist, pressing me against the wall. He presses his nose to my neck and inhales deeply, kissing my throat. My limbs fall relaxed on each side of my body. His mouth brushes my ear, and his hot breath keeps my body burning in desire, pulsing, and it makes me hum. Cardan bites my jaw slightly, and gives lazy kisses down my neck, to my collarbone. The loose dress has fallen, covering the tips of my breasts, and Cardan licks all that is exposed, slowly indulging in his prey. I reach a hand to his hair, sliding through, then clutching its silken smoothness, and when he finally licks the sensitive tip, Cardan lets out a guttural throat sound, while I cannot help but let out an open “ _Ah_!”. He kisses my mouth again, aggressive, and I feel starved, pulling his head to me. I stop kissing him, and Cardan gives me a supplicant look, but the golden rims of his eyes shine when he understands that I am undressing.

Cardan stumbles a few steps back, a hand gripping his own cock, as his eyes devour me once again. I am wearing human underwear, but he does not seem bothered by it. Cardan lifts me, holding my thighs over his waist and presses my back against the wall. Kissing me. My mouth, ear, neck. He buries his face between my breasts, then graze his teeth over my nipple. My eyes close involuntary, basking in the delightful sensations he wreaks over my body. Suddenly, he grinds against me. I can feel his hardness rubbing between my legs, and the heat is something new, good, intense.

“Cardan!”, I gasp.

“ _Jude_ ”, Cardan whispers against my neck.

His hands grip me with more force than seems necessary to keep me over his waist, it arouses me. He grinds again – _ah_

I am desperate, dizzy, seizing his hair. Cardan is sucking on my nipple, and I never knew my body could feel this feverish. _More, more, devour me!_ I relish his groaning too, he is just as lost to sensation as am I. Cardan carries me to his bed, and drops me without care. He takes off his shirt, my boots, his boots, and advances at me like a hungry beast. We are both desperate for each other, hurrying to feel more. Cardan kisses my mouth, I grab his head to bite his jaw, then lick his ear. He moans and chuckles. His hands hold mine, taking it to his mouth and he kisses each knuckle, then sucks on a finger. It makes me want to kiss him, and he allows me.

Cardan grinds again. I am quickly becoming addicted to that feeling. Then he lays beside me, and before I complain, he slides his hand underneath my underwear, his finger is on my clit, stimulating me in the most decadent way. I am beginning to lose coherence, and adrenaline is taking control over me. My hips have a life of their own, spiraling to get more of Cardan’s touch. He takes his mouth to my ear, running his tongue along the shell.

“You should have gone when you had the chance”, his hoarse voice spikes arousal through me, provoking a shiver down my spine. “Now, I shall teach you how to beg”

His finger is caressing my folds. My body melts under his touch, allowing his finger to slide easily. Cardan's mouth on my nipple, his tongue sweeping it, making my blood boil. His pace is slowly killing me, and if I try to move my hips faster, he takes his finger off. It is starting to annoy me. Cardan kisses my mouth and backs off to watch me, biting his bottom lip. The blackness of his eyes liquid as oil. I must be making obscene faces. He stops again.

“ _Cardan!_ ” I whine pathetically.

Smug smile.

“Yes?”

I growl at him, and it pleases him, stealing a gasp out of him.

“Jude. Ask me _please_ ”

His hand is fondling my belly now, my thigh. A light touch, trailing every part. Cardan lays down back beside me, his mouth near my ear. I can feel him breathing, as his hand keeps caressing me, making my eyes close again.

“Brave Jude, be a good girl. You know how to do it”

“It is you who should beg, you are burning for me!”, I tease him, without turning to meet his eyes. The rush we were in a minute ago is gone, and his soft touches do not allow me to open my eyes, afraid that I would miss something.

“Indeed, I am. Hurry, Jude”, his tongue pushes inside my ear, and I arch my back in pleasure. “Beg me for more, and free us from this torment”.

Oh his tongue! _Fuck_ , I have never been so uninhibited **.** My body craves more.

“p-please” ,I whisper, “please, don’t stop now, my prince”

“ _Ah! Sweet Jude!”_ , Cardan’s voice oscillates as he contains his urges.

His hand slides underneath my underwear again, and without heed, his finger enters my center. I free Cardan from his trousers, and stoke him as he had taught me. My core is molten, his finger pumping in and out, his moaning in my ear. Cardan slides in another finger, reaching me deep and he swears with a grunt. I could never achieve this pleasure on my own. I am stroking him faster, moving my hips faster. Oh his fingers! The heel of his palm is rubbing my clit as he simultaneously moves his fingers in and out of me. I can’t think of anything, dizzy with bliss.

I bury my face into his shoulder, trying to keep my moan low while my body trembles against his hand as I reach my climax. Still panting, I look at him. Cardan is in impossible lust. Slowly, he takes his fingers out of me and sucks them into his mouth, groaning. It gives me an idea. I get on my knees, and bring my mouth to his length at once.

“ _AH!”,_ his body jerks on an impulsive thrill, and Cardan’s hand grips his own hair, but it is not enough to get a hold of the intensity of his pleasure. _“JU- AAH!”_

I use a hand to help me. I have never done this before, and I find I quite like doing this to him; he is completely unguarded and it is exhilarating to watch. I hold his cock, and lick its head, watching Cardan’s face. He has lost it, eyes rolling back, brows scrunched in a plea. I move up and down at a slow pace, trying to saturate him, twisting my tongue as I can, diving deep in my throat. Apparently, that is how he likes it most. Cardan is moving his hips, he places a hand on my breast, groping it. He gazes at me with lips parted, murmuring my name. Then I start to bob my head faster. He is pulsing, his body is shivering.

A hand grips my hair, and I am surprised by his orgasm in my mouth. I don’t stop, until he calms down, and I swallow what is left. It tastes a bit bitter. I fall beside him on the bed, and Cardan hugs me. Does he get this kind of affection normally after doing these kind of things? Or is it because it is me? He nudges his face on my neck.

“I should have pursued you a long time ago”, he kisses my skin lightly. “Angry Jude is bewitching, but Jude In the throes of lust is completely exquisite”

No, it is impossible for Cardan to fall for me. I shouldn’t get any hope from his affection now. I will just enjoy his desire while I can, however long he wants me. If he no longer wants me, it is for the best. Cardan is now the everapple that I shouldn’t go after. But his effect over me is so intoxicating that I cannot control myself from wanting more. If he offers again, I won’t be able to resist taking a bite. I am doomed.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter beta-read by the awesome Aida <3
> 
> Please enjoy as life goes on!

[Cardan’s POV]

The living room has changed, it must be Taryn’s doing. It is more comfortable this way with more sofas, fur rugs and cushion all over the place. The usual people that I hang out with are here at Locke’s estate, talking loud and laughing, drinking, but I feel distracted. Unconsciously, my eyes keep turning to Taryn, staring at her, but it is not her face that I look for. Taryn’s auburn hair is loose on her back, and she is wearing a tight purple dress that is kind to her breasts, exposing skin enough to lure me into wanting to see more. It seems that I have drawn her attention, and now she is approaching me. Taryn sits besides me, and I sigh. Her scent is not the one that I want near.

“Can you tell me how Jude is?”, she asks. “Is she still angry with me? She must be... But I... You understand, right? You can understand why I did what I did”

I smile at her.

“Yes, I know that being cruel tastes good sometimes”

“No, it was not about being cruel!”

I lift a brow.

“Was it not? Then I am confused”

“No, Prince Cardan! It wasn’t about cruelty, it was about love! I love Locke, and I had to prove it to him”

“Why?”

“Excuse me?”

“Why did you have to prove it? Is it because you can lie?”, I look at Locke. He knows how to play a game, but I thought he would finish things with Taryn after it was exposed to Jude. I thought that was his play. Poor Taryn, manipulated by Locke.

“Yes, it is because I am human! I had to prove to him that even if I am human, I can love him truly, and love enough to act as if I could be a faerie”

“Let me see if I have this correct”, I look into her eyes, “your idea of acting like fae is that of betraying your sister’s trust for the twisted love of a twisted guy, and you think that a faerie’s love is all about manipulating the subject of affection?”

“It is not exactly like that”, Taryn rolls her eyes. “I thought you would understand”, and she sighs.

“Because I am the most cruel one?”, I give her a cheeky smirk, and recognize her fear. I like it when people fear me. “Ask... No, I shall ask myself.”, I turn to look at Nicasia, sitting with two other faeries. “Nicasia, come here a moment”

She looks at me, pouting, but gets up and listlessly walks towards me. Dramatic Nicasia. She sits in front of me.

“What is it?”, she starts to wind a finger through her hair.

“Was I cruel to you when I loved you?”, I ask her.

Nicasia frowns, not expecting this kind of question.

“No, not to me”, she answers. She smiles at me, like she is remembering something with fondness. “But it does not mean that you are easy to handle, you know that. You ruin things.”

I laugh, and wave a hand dismissing the thought.

“Was that it?”, Nicasia looks from me to Taryn, then back to me.

“I was testing Taryn’s theory that a fae’s love must be cruel and manipulative.”

Nicasia smiles triumphant, then leaves, to get back where she was sitting before. She must be pleased to know that Locke is not treating Taryn as she once thought he was, and envied Taryn for it. I look at Taryn, her cheeks red with embarrassment.

“At least tell me she is doing fine”, Taryn turns to me again. “Jude is tough, whatever anyone does to her, Jude can handle it. I always envied her for it”

“You think so little of your sister’s love, you are indeed acting like a faerie without care. You broke her, Taryn. You and Locke both did it. But Jude _is_ tough, and a good liar, so she is faring better. Now leave me, before I show you cruelty. And you will not mistake it for love”

Taryn’s eyes water, but she holds her tears back and leaves me. I finish my wine, and get up to leave.

“Going home already?”, Valerian asks me. The pixie in his lap shrinks away from me in fear.

“I am bored”

“Balekin’s stuff?”, he asks me.

Valerian is a nasty guy most of the time, but whenever he saw Balekin public humiliating me, he tried to help distract me. That is why I became his friend. Since I can’t lie, I smile at him. He nods, and I leave.

\--

Vivienne came to us after our training in the yard. She is tormenting Jude about something called a “movie”, and seeing Jude tormented is funny. I laugh at her, and she glares me.

“Come oooooon! It is going to be cool!”, Vivienne insists.

“Vivi!”, Jude warns her sister.

I am intrigued.

“What is all the fuss about?”

“You don’t want to know”, Jude says in a snarl.

“Your tone makes me want to know even more, sweet Jude. Tell me Vivienne”

Vivienne’s eyes shine with excitement, and Jude is looking at her sister as if she could burn a hole through Vivienne with her glare.

“I told Heather that Jude was feeling down lately, and she gave me the idea to go to the movies with Jude, and if Jude had a friend that would like to cheer her up, I should invite the friend as well. But Jude has just one friend that I know of”

“What does ‘ _go to the movies_ _’_ means?”, I ask, laughing at Jude’s angry face. “And your sister is right Jude, you should try to have more friends”, I assume she can’t go to the movies with the goblin friend.

She throws her arms in exasperation, and snorts.

“It is in the human world, as you might have suspected”, Vivienne explains. “I will tell you the general idea. A movie is like watching a story, some similar to our storybooks, through a window. There are people acting, and in different scenarios, all in the same window. Going to the movies means to go to a place with a lot of these windows, in which each window is telling a different story. We choose one, and watch it.”

“And Jude doesn’t want to go?”

“No, she doesn’t want me to invite you”

“Vivi!”, Jude complains again. Then turns to face me, sighing. “Look, you are a prince. Even if you are tempted to tag along just to tease me, you can’t possibly go to the human world”

“If you are worried that I might be attacked, I think you are the perfect person to guard me”, I tell her. “And my training has improved, I can survive”.

She is really angry now. And it does not humor me anymore, it actually pains me. Does she not want me near?

“And you would have to miss lessons, because the movies close after midnight”, Vivienne says.

“I am up to it, if Jude does not find my presence a great nuisance to her movies thing”, I sustain Jude's glare.

Her eyes change to a mischievous look.

“Oh please, come along. Let us see if you can survive”

\--

I stare at myself in Jude’s mirror. I look weird. I _feel_ weird. Jude allowed me to wear my leather bracelet, rings and earrings, but the circlet was out of the question. I can also wear kohl, and that is all that feels like me. Vivienne brought this black t-shirt, dark ‘jeans’, and a black pair of those converse shoes she so adores. She also brought a black leather jacket that closes with what she called a zipper. There is a knock on the door.

“I am clothed”, I say.

Jude comes inside, looking at me astonished. She is wearing basically the same thing that I am, only the color of her shoes are green, and her jeans are adjusting to the fullness of her hips. Funny. Why do I want to kiss her?

“Lets go, Vivi is waiting”

Vivienne reminds me to glamour myself to look more human, and I take care of my pointed ears, and make sure my tail is firmly secured in my pants. We use ragwort to fly to the human realm, and as soon as we land, I am overwhelmed by this place. Too many things to absorb. Why is there so much noise? My hands instantly cover my ears.

“You get used to it”, Vivienne tells me. “Heather told me to meet her by the entrance, lets find her and buy us snacks!”

How does anyone get used to it?

“Do you want to go back yet?”, Jude sneers.

I lower my hands, sinking them into my pockets, and follow Vivienne.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for kudos and I love reading your comments!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter beta-read by the awesome Aida <3

[Cardan’s POV]

There are a lot of people chatting around us. The place is called a mall, and the movies are inside the building. Vivienne starts running, just a few steps, and jumps into Heather’s arms. They hug each other and kiss. Then Vivienne turns to introduce us, without letting go of Heather’s hand.

“This is Cardan”

“Nice earrings”, Heather says, a charismatic smile. I smile back.

“Nice hair”

I do like it. I am interested in how humans change their hair colors.

“I’ve got the tickets, let’s buy the snacks!”, Heather tells us, excited.

Vivienne and Heather walk in front of Jude and I. The door opens automatically, surprising me. I feel Jude’s eyes watching me, but I can’t turn and say anything clever now. Too much to see. Lights everywhere, loud talking, kids running, different kinds of smells. Ugh, how do they do it? We go inside a market, and the three of them start picking up these bags, telling me that they are chocolate bars and chips.

I keep reading the different types and flavors of chips in the shelf. There are cheese, bacon, onions, and spicy. I turn to ask Jude which one she prefers, but Jude is not beside me anymore. Vivienne and Heather are still discussing which chips to take, however, Jude is not even in this row of selves anymore. I walk around looking for her. I can still smell her close by, but since there are a lot of different, strong smells surrounding me, I cannot quite determine which direction I should turn towards. I suddenly hear her voice coming from a row of shelves that are cooling the air near them. Jude is standing by this particular shelf, and I freeze in place when I hear a boy’s voice talking to her.

“You are here to watch the movie with your friends, but you could hang out after with me”, I can hear how shy he is, and it bothers me.

It means this guy is interested in her, and he is inviting her to spend time with him. As if Jude would toss me aside to be with another. I can feel my mouth curving into a proud smile.

“No, I won’t leave my friends tonight”, she answers. But I don’t think she is firm enough; actually I think her tone is uncertain.

“Oh, right. I agree that friends are priority... But, hm, do you want to hang out another time? I like your jacket, am I wrong to assume that you like rock bands? Because if you like them, there is this Muse cover band on Saturday and we could go together. If you want to, you could also bring your friends, but I would really like to get to know you”

It is like he is speaking in another language, because I can’t understand most of what he says. Although, I _do_ understand he is inviting Jude, again, to spend time with him. He said “ _I would really like_ _to get to know you”_. An involuntary low growl runs through me. I don’t want Jude letting anyone _get to know_ her. Even if it is a confusing feeling, since it is Jude. Even if I had told her to make more friends. There is something here making me believe that this guy does not wish to be a friend, or at least, he wishes to be not _just_ a friend.

I have not pursued anyone since I had kissed Jude, because Jude’s mouth was all that I wanted to taste again. But that does not mean that Jude felt the same, even if I am an exceptional kisser, she could want to taste another. It makes my insides twist. I don’t want to hear more of it, so I walk the rest of the row, make a turn and enter the next corridor to find her and this boy. He is blond, straight hair falling into his forehead. He has a drawing on his skin, it starts by his neck and keeps down to his back; he is wearing black jeans, shoes close enough to boots and two rings. He and Jude are the same height.

“I like that one, ‘Time is running out’, you know?”, Jude says, an answer to a question I didn’t hear.

“Oh, that is a good one!”, he smiles at her.

“Jude”, I call.

They turn to look to me, and I am satisfied with how this guy shrinks at my sight.

“Oh, I am grabbing us some drinks”, she smiles at me. “Vivi and Heather wouldn’t decide on the snack, so I thought it would be faster if I went ahead to choose what to drink for all of us, or we are going to be late for the movie”

“Last time I checked, they were debating between onion flavored or cheese”, I smile back. “Who is this?”

“Evan”, she answers, and turn to him. “Right?” Then back to me, “he was telling me about a concert... good musicians that play some of my favorite songs”, she turns to him again. “Thank you for your kind invitation, but...”

“Nah, it’s ok”, Evan shrugs. “I thought of the possibility that you already had someone. It’s cool. See ya!”

He gives her a weak smile and leaves. Jude turns her attention to the drinks on this cold shelf, and for some reason, she is blushing. Jude chooses two bottled juices and two of something called coke, then she grabs an extra bottle of water.

“In case you don’t like anything, at least water is still water here”, she tells me.

“Do you listen to human musicians often?”, I ask her. I am still intrigued about her talk with that human boy. Perhaps they have common tastes, perhaps Jude would like to spend time with him after all.

“No, I have listened to human musicians just a few times. It was Heather that had me listen to this band that Evan was talking about, on her phone – a device that has many functions, including allowing one to play music”, she shrugs.

We meet Vivienne and Heather in the same place, where they choose to take both chips. They pay for the food with human money, and we walk to the movies. Our seats are labeled with numbers. The room is filled with seats in rows, and I do not like the smell. Heather and Jude hand me and Vivienne the snacks, telling us that they will get the popcorn. Vivienne leads me to our row of seats, and we sit beside each other. The room is totally closed.

“Where is the window with the movie?”, I ask Vivienne, and she smiles at me.

“See that?”, she points to this wall covered with some kind of blanket. “It is not a window, I told you the idea of it was like looking through a window. They have this light that will point to the screen and the movie will be there. The sound will be loud at first, so be careful to not startle”

“How can you like it all?”

She shrugs.

“I grew up here. And I love Heather, so I want to come back to living here, with her”, Vivienne smiles. I admire her affection, and the way she is so open about it.

“Will you marry her?”

“Something like that. Someday I hope to. But in the human world we have to date first”

“Date?” I ask, perplexed.

“When you ask someone on a date, you are asking to spend personal time with them, often in a romantic context. When you are ‘dating’ someone, it means that you frequently spend ‘alone’ time together, in public or otherwise. It also implies sexual attraction… Similar to how you and Nicasia were. Maybe like you and Jude are”, Vivienne quirks a brow to me, and I can see her resemblance with Jude.

“My friendship with Jude is different from what I had with Nicasia”, I feel my heart racing, strangely excited. “Did Jude tell you... something?”

“Something”. Vivienne presses her lips together.

“Can you tell me something, about her something?”, I feel anxious. What did Jude tell her sister? About our kisses? About me? About her feelings?

“What about you?”, she returns. “Why don’t _you_ tell me _something?_ ”

“Ask”

“If your friendship with Jude is not like the one you had with Nicasia, does it mean Jude is a friend like the others you hang out with?”

I inhale, and try to convey more than my words looking into her cat eyes.

“My friendship with Jude is like no other that I have, or had”

Vivienne was going to ask more, but Jude and Heather arrive. Jude sits beside me, and Heather beside Vivienne. They offer me popcorn and it is not _that_ bad. The coke, thought, is awful! The lights turn off, and if Vivienne had not warned me before, I would have violently startled at this loud sound and image forming on the screen. Jude has to get closer to my ear so I can hear her without bothering the others surrounding us. She tells me these are called trailers, they tell people about movies that are to come in the near future. When Vivienne told me about the window thing, this is not how I had pictured it.

We finish the popcorn before the movie even starts. Jude gives me the chocolate bar, and tells me to eat a row and pass it on to her sister. I take a bite to try it out, and it is good, so I take two rows for me. I pass the rest of the chocolate bar to Vivienne, and she takes it. My eyes catch Vivienne’s and Heather’s hands clasped together, and I turn to find Jude’s hand in her lap. She doesn’t look at me when I lace my fingers through hers, and doesn’t pull away from it. I feel foolish. Once I finish my chocolate, I lick my fingers. The movie is a comedy with action, it steals some laughs out of me, but at some points I don’t understand why the people around me laugh. It ends too soon, for now Jude lets go of my hand to grab our trash.

“Ice cream or coffee?”, Heather asks.

“Uhh.. what about iced frapuccino?”, Vivienne asks.

 _“_ _M_ _mmm_ with chocolate!”, Jude agrees, making a cute face as she recalls the taste of whatever it is that they are talking about.

We walk through the hallways, stopping here and there so they can look at some clothes or shoes behind a sheet of glass. I see that Vivienne is still holding Heather’s hand. Am I allowed to keep Jude’s hand? My hand is itching for it. We get inside a store, and Vivienne tries on what she calls sunglasses. It is hideous.

“Try this on!”, Jude gives me one.

I put it on my face, and everything goes darker. I can see its utility. Jude is looking at me, laughing.

“Am I that hideous?”, I laugh at her.

“No, I think you could wear anything and you would still look devastatingly handsome”

Jude gets surprised with what she just said, and looks away. I feel my grin widen. We put back the glasses on the shelf, and walk back into the hallway. The stores stop at the end of the corridor, and there is this broad room filled with tables and people eating. The cacophony of sickening smells makes me wrinkle my nose.

“There is an external area over there”, Vivienne points out. “Lets place our orders and eat there!”

“Vivi, can you pick up our drinks? Cardan doesn’t look so good. We will choose a table outside”, Jude says, and Vivienne nods.

My focus changes to Jude’s hand on mine, as she pulls me to follow her, deviating from the crowd. The automatic door opens, and I feel better with the cool breeze on my face. Jude takes me to a table with four seats, the most distant from the building and with less people around. I sit beside her, not letting go of her hand.

“Are you feeling better?”, she asks, concerned.

Jude is worried about me. How strange. It feels good, too. I like all of her attention focused on me.

“That was the worst place”, I tell her. “What do these humans eat? How can anyone eat surrounded by those cloying smells?”

“Our sense of smell is not as strong as yours”, she gives me a comforting smile. “I think you will like the frapuccino, since you liked the chocolate bar. Maybe that will make you feel better”

“Let me smell you, that will make me feel better”

Jude’s eyes widen in surprise, then she relaxes her shoulders and chuckles.

“Right, whatever”, she looks to our hands.

I lean forward, placing my forehead on her shoulder. Her scent calms me down. I trail my finger over the calluses covering her small palm. There was a time when I thought Jude’s attempt of being a Knight was a foolish idea, however, I was the foolish one. She could be a great warrior, the general Madoc was proud of her skills. But Jude is a spy, that is a different kind of battle. I remember her body full of scars, a few were still recent wounds. Someone clears a throat, and I pick my head up to see Vivienne narrowing her eyes at me. Jude lets go of my hand to grab the drink in the tray.

Vivienne and Heather sit, and they start talking about the movie. I take a sip of my drink, and Jude was right, this is good. It has sweet cream on top, and the drink has a bittersweet taste, and I understand why she said “iced”, since it is a cold drink. They talk about the most funny parts of the movie, then judge the character’s actions. I tell them that some parts were predictable, and they agree. Heather says that there is going to be a sequel, but I don’t think that it is going to be good, since this one already had flaws.

We keep chatting even after our drinks are over, even when there is only us still sitting outside. A man approaches our table and tells us that the mall is going to close, so we take the tray back inside, leaving it in the right place, and we walk outside the mall. Vivienne looks at Heather with fondness. She loves Heather, it is so clear. Jude pulls my arm, and I lean to hear what she wants to say.

“Do you know how to use ragwort?” She asks.

“Yes”, I say.

“So lets go and leave Vivi with Heather. I think they want to be alone now”

I stand up.

“Heather, it was a pleasure meeting you”, I give her a light bow, and she finds it amusing.

“You should stay”, Jude tells her sister. “Cardan knows how to take us home”

Vivienne looks at me and I nod at her. She nods back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me your thoughts :D


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter beta-read by the awesome Aida <3

[Cardan’s POV]

We have to climb through Jude’s balcony so no one sees me wearing human clothes. Of course, Jude climbs up easily while I struggle a bit.

“What did you think? Tell me all about it”, she demands. Jude kicks her shoes off and throws herself onto bed. “Oh, take your clothes and go change in the bathing chamber. If anyone comes in, it will be chaotic to explain your garments”

Jude rolls over and contorts herself, until the jacket is off of her arms, and she throws it to the ground. I start to take off the leather coat as I answer her.

“You must have seen how it was terrible for me. Humans are too much! Too much light, too many people in a closed space, too much noise... There is iron everywhere too... The smell was the worst part, really!”, I tell her, folding the jacket and placing it over her chair by the desk. I take off the shoes, and place them beside the chair, and take off the t-shirt as I keep talking. “I liked that automatic door, though, and that even if we were in a closed place, the temperature was pleasant”, I fold the t-shirt and place it also on the chair, building up a pile. My hands start unbuttoning my jeans, and Jude rolls to face the other wall. “It is not like you have not seen me naked”

“But all those times I had the purpose to do so”

I fold the jeans and place it in the pile that I made, then I find my clothes in a drawer inside her wardrobe, where I had left them.

“You should always keep that purpose in mind, I am quite dazzling” Jude chuckles, but does not turn to me, so I start dressing my actual clothes. Black breeches, dark blue spider silk shirt. “I did enjoy watching the movie, the popcorn and the chocolate!”

I also enjoyed spending time with Jude, learning more about her expressions. Jude doesn’t laugh much, not so openly. She mostly chuckles, when she is out in a crowded place. Her laughter is for those who are closer to her, and whenever Jude allows me to witness her laugh, it is like she is allowing me inside her inner circle. However, I won’t tell her that. It was a hectic beginning of a night, and I had not slept well, anxious with the unknown of the human world. I feel tired, and yawn involuntary.

“You can sleep on the bed, if you want to”, Jude tells me.

I lay behind her without hesitation, embracing her. Jude’s sweet herbaceous scent calms me down, I could get used to sleeping with her inside my arms. And so we fall asleep.

——

I am not sure how long we have dozed, but I can feel Jude trying to subtly squirm away. She moves to sneak out, and I growl at her.

“I need a private moment”, she laughs, using force now that she knows I am awake, and I tighten my embrace.

“Hold it in”, I growl again.

“ _Cardan_! I really need to go!”

With a long sigh, I release her, and Jude runs to the bathing chamber. When she gets back, Jude is wearing brown breeches and light blue, loose shirt. Blue complements the soft oyster gold undertones in Jude’s complexion. It is the perfect juxtaposition to enhance the bright warmth of her walnut eyes, and the delicate rose blush of her cheeks and lips. We spend the rest of the night playing with Oak, then we spar with Madoc. We practice swordplay, and I start to think that it would be nice to learn to fight with a smaller blade. Maybe I should ask Jude to teach me some tricks, I remember she used a dagger to kill her enemy. I wonder who she works for, I hope it is not Balekin, since he does not treat humans with respect. Or perhaps I should call on my bargain with The Roach and make _him_ teach me some tricks.

Oriana invites me to have dinner with them, and I accept. Though I don’t feel much hungry, since I ate too much human food, I enjoy having dinner with then. It is nothing like my family’s dinners, I feel welcomed.

\--

I doubt my eyes and blink again. Jude has come to the lessons today.

“You look like you are going to devour her”, Nicasia tells me, a hand in my arm. “Be careful with those who are looking at you, they might think you are in love with the mortal”

Turning to meet Nicasia’s eyes, I knit my brows together. In love? That does sound like an explanation. Jude takes one of the seats in the front of the room, besides Fand, who also wants to be a knight. Jude doesn’t see when Locke and Taryn come in, she doesn’t see their faces. Taryn looks close to tears, and an indecent smile splits Locke’s face, making me clench my fists. Nicasia grips my arm harder, and I sit in my chair with a sigh. At lunch break Jude vanishes, and so does Taryn and Locke. They do not come back for the rest of lessons, and I start to tap my foot against the ground in lack of patience.

“What do you two think happened?”, Valerian asks me and Nicasia at the end of lessons. “Did Locke make a sister kill the other, then commit suicide?”

“Maybe Jude killed Locke. I would be mad at her, but I know Locke deserves something of the kind”, Nicasia glances at me, then turns to Valerian. “So, Val... Were you not going to introduce me to that friend of yours?”

He answers with a wide grin.

“Nic, you are going to love him!”

“Am I, now?”

“Tell me later what you thought about him, Nicasia!”, I laugh at her, and leave them behind.

I owe her, for taking Valerian’s attention away from Jude and letting me go without looking desperate. The coachman asks me: “Hollow Hall, my prince?”

But I want to find Jude. Should I go to Madoc’s estate, or Locke’s? Perhaps Jude is there to talk to her twin. Jude is at neither. Did she run away again? At least here at Locke’s estate, Taryn is telling me between sobs about Jude reacting to her approach.

“I knew she was still mad... but... but... She was so cold to me!”

“And she punched me!”, Locke has a purple bruise in his jaw, and a cut in his upper lip. “So no, I do not wish to have Jude around so soon”

Jude punched him, where everyone can see, and part of me is happy about it. With nowhere else to look for her, I go home. On the next day I receive a letter from Jude, telling me that she is on a mission and will be back in a couple of days. I play with Oak without her, because I enjoy playing with him. Vivienne joins us, and Oak wins every round. I even dine with them without Jude, and Madoc does not seem bothered by it. As an excuse, Jude had told her family she needed time away again after seeing Taryn. Tonight, I am sitting beside Oak, with Vivienne in front of her brother, Oriana is by the end of the table and Madoc is across from her, between me and an empty seat. What is this feeling? It is warm, and I don’t want to leave. This table full with good food and family love, these feelings are overwhelming me.

“Can Cardan sleepover?”, Oak asks, as if he just read my mind.

Madoc’s eyes meet mine, then he shrugs.

“Would you like to stay over, Prince Cardan? You could sleep in the guest room, if you wish”

“He prefers Jude’s room!”, Oak tells his father, as if he is doing something good. Which he is not. I feel my face blaze in embarrassment, while Vivienne is contorting her body, laughing.

“Does he, now?” Madoc’s eyes are carved on me.

I do not know if he is threatening me, if I am already dead and his cat’s eyes were the last thing that I saw, and that’s why I keep seeing them, or if he is just telling me to go home and don’t ever come back. Surprisingly, Madoc starts laughing with Vivienne, and it is disturbing to watch. Oriana is trying really hard to not laugh at my face as well.

“What just happened here?”, we all turn to see Jude by the door.

She is wearing a loose black shirt, black trousers and black boots. Only her cloak and mask are gone, but this is her spy uniform. My face is still warm from embarrassment, and the humor has not left the table. I turn in a desperate move: “I appreciate the invitation, but I shall return to Hollow Hall now. We will play again soon, Oak!”, I get up, “The food was very good! Excellent, really. Now, if you would all excuse me”.

I grab Jude’s hand to drag her with me, and I still can hear Vivienne and Madoc’s laugh by the entrance’s door. Jude looks at me with a merging of a frown and a smile, humor caused from her family’s laughing.

“Did you get hurt?”, I ask, assessing her.

“No, I am good at my job”

“Indeed, that is why I know of it”

Jude snorts.

“Tell me why they are laughing. What was the joke?”

“You can ask Vivienne later”, my hand cups her cheek. It is strange how much I missed her in just a couple of days.

Jude’s brown eyes are glowing, as if she is happy. Is it with me? Her loose auburn hair is messy, tousled by the wind. I want to kiss her, but suddenly I recall Madoc’s glare and it gives me an unpleasant shiver. I let go of Jude.

“I hope to see you tomorrow”, I tell her.

“I hope to see you too”, she gives me a cheeky smile.

My body leans froward in a brief relapse, but I take over, and leave the house.

\--

Nicasia and Valerian tell me all about the night they had before the lesson starts, and about this new friend Linnet. He makes nevermore bottles, and now I am interested in him.

“Can you ask him to make one bottle for me? Better yet, make it two. I will end up having to give one to Balekin, anyways”

“I knew you would be interested”, Valerian says enthusiastically.

“Can you arrange a bottle for me as well?”, Locke asks.

“Yes” Valerian smiles to Locke, “next time I go to your estate, I shall bring Linnet with me and a few of his bottles, so we can drink to our hearts content and you get to know Linnet”

“Oh, and Linnet is such a good kisser!”, Nicasia smiles.

We all laugh at the information. Jude didn’t attend lessons, but I had expected as much. By the end of lessons, I walk with Valerian and Nicasia through the courtyard, idly. Valerian tells me about some girls that he had met, and could introduce me, but I don’t feel up to it. I don’t feel tempted to have sex just for the fun of it; it is not just about immediate physical gratification for me anymore, now I want a deeper connection to accompany the physical. One of the heart and mind. For better or worse, I want Jude.

We go separate ways as I take the horse that I used today to come to the palace, and before I realize it, I am at Madoc’s estate. Stepping off of my horse, I hear a rushing sound by the side of the house, and I walk around the house, holding the reins, to investigate the sound. Jude is sliding down from her balcony, in a desperate attempt to be fast, which causes her to brush too much over the vine’s leaves. She falls to the ground on her feet and catches sight of me, pupils dilated. The door in her room opens, drawing Jude’s attention and she decides to run. I follow her, back up on my horse, entering the forest.

Jude stops running realizing that I am following her with a horse. She is sweating, breathing uneven, but she manages to chuckle at me.

“What happened?”, I ask, stopping the horse.

“Taryn came to visit. I didn’t want to see her, so I ran”, the horse changes the weight on its legs, and Jude approaches the beast to pet its head.

“Does she want to mend your relationship?”

“I think she does. I feel like at some point we lost each other and did not realize it. I stopped telling her things, and so did she”

Her eyes are sad again, and I don’t wish her to be like this. It was not even me that made her sad!

“Come with me”, I hold out my hand.

Jude accepts it and hops up in the saddle, in front of me. It is not like I had predicted what the encounter of our bodies would feel like, I had not planned to visit Jude tonight with ulterior motives, but this changes things. The horse takes a slow pace, I keep a hand on the bridle and the other on Jude’s waist. She turns her head to talk to me, asking me if I had grown bored of my chariot. I want to say something clever in return, but my blood heating does not allow me to form coherent words. My body urges me to feel more of her.

It does not take long for us to reach the lake, the one that I usually swim in with Rhya, or alone. I get down first, and Jude follows right after without my help. I let the horse graze near the lake shore and turn to face Jude. It is a warm night, so I don’t think Jude is going to freeze with her poor human constitution.

“Swimming relaxes me, that is why I brought you here”

“I bet the water is cold”, Jude smiles at me, uncertain of what she should do.

“Do you need help to undress?”

That is one of the expressions that I like. Jude does not know how to answer back, so she just wrinkles her nose pretending to be offended. Without taking my eyes of her, I start undressing. Devour me with your eyes Jude, that is another face that I enjoy.

“Take them off, or I am going to jump in with you dressed, and it is not wise to keep wearing wet clothes”, I give her a cheeky smirk.

“You wouldn’t”, she lifts a brow.

“Sweet Jude, I cannot lie”, I cannot control my smug smile.

First she takes off her boots, kicking them aside, then her trousers are gone, with her loose shirt long enough, the hem brushing the top of her thighs. Jude laughs at my half awake member. There is a new small cut on her right knee, and I kneel at her feet, to touch it. Jude gasps in surprise, and watches me as I kiss her wound, a light encounter of my lips to her skin. My hand leaves the cut to caress the back of her knee, tickling up behind her thigh, and I chuckle once I reach her human underwear.

“You shouldn’t wear these things”

“Take them off for me, then”, her voice is a croon.

My other hand skims her left leg. Her body hair is raised, sensitive to my touch. I kiss her thigh while my fingers trail the waistband of her underwear, from her belly to the end of her back, and I start to pull it down slowly, caressing her ass with my fingertips. Jude holds onto my shoulder, stepping out of the underwear. I get up, hands trailing her tender skin under the shirt, while I watch Jude’s face. Her lips are parted with her chest heaving, brows wrinkled in a plea. She closes her eyes to savor my touch. Jude is so beautiful. I brush my lips over hers, then pull her shirt up, away from her body. Jude helps me rid her body of this bra, and now she is naked. I take a step back to appreciate her.

Jude has darker curled hair between her legs, her delicate nipples are light brown and hard, inviting me. I start circling her. Jude’s straight posture makes her look more elegant. Her firm ass is tempting me, and I cup a cheek just to feel it, warm, soft skin.

“Were you not going to swim with me?”, Jude asks in a whisper.

I clear my throat and she giggles.

“Do you want to compete?” I go to her side and look at her face, daring her.

“Fine by me, but what do I get when I win?”, she smirks at me, and I clench my fists to hold me back from kissing her.

“You are not going to win”, I tell her.

“Hmm, I think it would be fair if I get you to do something for me”

I roll my eyes, and smile at her.

“Jude, you are going to lose. And if you want to bet, it is fine by me. When _I win_ , I get to have _you_ doing something for me”

“Right. We will have to go from here to there, twice”, Jude points two sides of the lake, and jumps to the water.

How could she cheat like that? This little...! I jump right after, swimming fast. For the first part Jude keeps ahead of me, but I catch up, and to Jude’s great annoyance, I win, laughing at her. Jude dives in, trying to hide her face, then suddenly she pulls me down. Today she is inspired to trick me. Tempt me. We get up and I spit all the water I swallowed at her face.

“EEEEEW!”

Jude submerges herself again, and returns to standing, facing me, laughing.

“All right _my prince_ , you won. What does his Royal Handsomeness wish for me to do?” She asks coquettishly.

This fucking girl is such a tease.

“Let’s go to Hollow Hall, and there I shall tell you what I want to do, sweet Jude”

“Oh, you are inspired!” Jude laughs, and swims around me.

“You inspire me”, I watch her.

Jude stops in front of me again, the humor still in the curves of her lips.

“Will you be mad at me if I don’t abide to our bet now? I escaped Taryn, but I have to get back. And then I have my... duties to fulfill”

“Oh, right...”, I feel embarrassed, and avert my eyes. We may kiss, and exchange passionate touches, but it is not like Jude wishes to let me have her. My suggestion to go to Hollow Hall was pretty clear of my intention.

She comes closer, a hand resting on my chest, over my heart.

“Cardan?”, Jude calls me, and I wilt.

I had hoped that Jude desired me like I desire her, but if I want to keep by her side, then I have to accept the possibility that Jude does not possess the same inclination, and move on. Taking a deep breath, I finally meet her eyes. Jude evaluates me, and my hope returns in a blink of her eyes, flooded in lust. What is she doing to my heart? 

“Jude, you are being no fun”, I sigh. Jude bites her lower lip. It is turning into purple, out of cold. “Do you want a ride back to Madoc’s estate?”

“No need”, Jude starts to swim idly to the shore, facing the sky. I watch as Jude dresses up fast, her teeth chattering. “Do you miss me already?” she manages a wry smirk.

My heart skips a beat.

“I do” I whisper.

“What was that?”, first I think she is making fun of me, but Jude honestly did not hear me.

“Go, you are shaking so much from cold that I pity you”

Jude scoffs, then leaves me behind without looking back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cardan knows now that he is in love <3
> 
> Thank you for your kudos and comments, I love to read what you are thinking about the story, and I always try to reply!  
> :D


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter beta-read by the awesome Aida <3
> 
> Suggestion: listen to the sweetest version of “La Vie En Rose” that you know! (if you don't know this song, it is okay. It is from Edit Piaf. I like her version, but there are sweeter versions, and the one that I kept on repeat for this piece was with Daniela Andrade singing it)

[Jude’s POV]

The other night Cardan had helped me, once again, relax after running from Taryn’s visit, and I ended up losing a bet. What Cardan implied that he wanted, made my heart beat fiercely, and perhaps at that moment I felt relief that I had to go back and meet the Bomb so we could train in archery. Fear had stricken me, of what would happen if I had let Cardan hold me, how it would make me feel. I could see his embarrassment, and it washed away my fear - I desired him completely. Nonetheless, I had to leave, so I did. The next night Cardan came to spar with me and Madoc, and after that, he collected my debt by making me serve him food from a tray while we played with Oak and his toys. With that, Cardan got to annoy me and seduce me at the same time, as he carefully took a bite from a piece of fruit, or licked the juice of it sliding down my fingers. 

There is no doubt, I love Cardan. I had returned to Madoc’s estate after sparring with the Ghost tonight, took a bath and was ready to throw myself into bed. Instead, I came here. Climbing through Cardan’s balcony was not an easy task, I even got cut from a thorn. I should go, I shouldn’t spy on him sleeping. The sun is rising, a beam of light invades the room because I left the curtain to the balcony slightly open. Cardan is laying on his chest. He must have rolled a lot before falling asleep, since the sheet covers only up to his thigh, exposing his pale skin.

Cardan’s black curls fall over his face, and I feel an urge to pet him. His lips are parted, making me assume he is sleeping deep to be breathing through his mouth. I stand there, processing how I got to this point. Cardan was good at being cruel, mistreating anyone for the fun of tormenting. I remember all those times that I dreamed of putting him into his place, teaching him a lesson. Many of those dreams I had ended up kissing him, I had made him desire me – the human he despised so much.

My wish for him to desire me still remains. I close my eyes so my lips recall the touch of his lips, that tenderness that I had not expected from him. Recently, I learned that Cardan was good at being good, too. It turns out that every side of him attracts me, engulfing me in this pool of feelings that I have never experienced. With a sigh, I turn to leave through the balcony.

“Stay”, his sleepy voice freezes me in place. “If you are a dream or not, stay with me”

“Did I not scare you ?”, I ask in a whisper.

Cardan gives me a soft chuckle. I meet his eyes through the curtain of his curls.

“Well, you realized that invading my room to watch me sleep without consent was not something appropriate, since you were leaving. But now I give you consent, so stay. Unless you only like to be a disturbing pervert, sweet villain”

He always knows how to steal a smile from me.

“You ruined my fun”, I pout, making him chuckle again.

“Come closer”

I do. Cardan pulls my hand, making me sit by the edge of his bed, and bends his body so he can put his head to rest in my lap, while hugging my waist.

“My beautiful spy”, he murmurs.

I start petting his smooth hair, and Cardan purrs. His tail softly brushes the bed. Can he hear my heart beat? It sounds like thunder to me. I trail a fingertip up his pointy ear, over some earrings that he never seems to takes off. Cardan nudges his head into my thigh, and steals a glance at me. A puppy asking me to keep petting him. I brush a knuckle over his cheek bone, and Cardan purrs approvingly. Cardan’s purring is a calming sound, a cuddle to my heart.

“Oh, aren’t you being sweet now?”, I mock him tenderly.

“I do enjoy your affection”, Cardan tightens his hug.

My fingertip trails his delicate nose up to his brows, his forehead, and back to caress his hair. I feel his hand sliding underneath my shirt, to start fondling my skin at the base of my back. His touch produces a tingling feeling, that turns into something warmer and tantalizing. My hand reaches the nape of his neck, with a light touch, and Cardan sucks in a deep breath. I find his simmering gaze for a moment, then he decides to close his eyes again.

My fingertips draw lines from his nape to his shoulder blades. And from the tips of my fingers to my whole body, I start to feel tingling. My cheeks flush. I trail all his back, feeling Cardan shuddering under my touch, and change his purr to light gasps. His hand on my waist stops moving, all his focus turned to my fingertips on his skin. I keep caressing with a deliberate slow pace, feeling some kind of power over him. Cardan’s breathe hitches, and he digs his fingers on my sides.

“Do you want more?”, I ask. “I could let you get back to sleep now”

“Do not dare stopping now”, Cardan gives me a low growl. Then looks up to me, afraid that I would be mad with his growl. It makes me giggle.

“I won’t stop, but could you let me lay beside you?”, Cardan narrows his eyes, and I keep my smirk on. “I want to kiss you, you fool”

Cardan rolls further in bed. I take off my boots, and lay beside him, immediately receiving kisses, as he cups my cheek with a hand. Cardan nips my lower lip, sucks on it, then our tongues meet again. Involving me in an embrace, Cardan’s hand strokes through the length of my hair. My fingertips get back to work, provoking him. I am not trying to be gently anymore, instead, I wish for Cardan to burn in desire for me. His member is hard against my thigh. All this tingling through my body is a plea to feel more of him. Our legs tangle together. Cardan steal glances between kisses, his dark eyes are moons, melting with lust. My face probably shows the same sight.

He caresses my back passionately, his hand finds its way inside my shirt, and he growls when he finds my bra. I laugh in his mouth. Cardan holds me tight, and I arch my back. I want him, desperately. I pull back, assessing him, we are both panting.

“Jude...”, Cardan tries, but I put a finger over his lips, shushing him.

Stepping off of the bed, I strip for him, piece by piece at a dramatically slow pace as he watches me, devouring me with his intense gaze. Instead of feeling shy, I straighten my back, inviting his gaze to my breasts. Having Cardan’s eyes flooded with desire upon me makes me feel special. I get up on his bed, sitting over my knees. My heart is racing. Cardan’s tail waves back and forth in excitement. He sits in front of me, over his knees, and holding my hands, Cardan pulls me to sit on his lap. I look at our parts touching, then meet his gaze. The obsidian eyes that I always look for, they are wandering my lips. Leaning forward, I kiss Cardan’s mouth. My arms drape over his shoulders, a hand in his hair. Cardan’s fingers skim my back, while he kisses me gently.

“Kiss me until you are sick of it”, I whisper to his mouth.

Cardan meets my eyes with hunger. Oh no. _I love him too much already_. I devour his mouth, moving my hips to create friction against his member between my legs. It heats me up, pulsing from my core to my whole body. Cardan groans approvingly. He cups my left breast, rubbing his thumb over my nipple. Cardan traces his nose down my neck, breathing me in, making me shudder. I wonder what he feels, I wonder if my body pleases him.

He starts nipping my ear, licking, sucking my earlobe. I keep rocking over him, as he trails his tongue down my neck to my shoulder. Cardan bites my chin, then take my breast in his hand to his mouth. I groan at the sensation, arching my back. My heart is racing, out of passion, out of happiness. Does he know what he is doing to me? I lean against his head, to moan in his ear, lick it, and Cardan increases his pressure, sucking on me harder, his arms holding me in a tight embrace.

His hands stop my hips, squeezing my ass. I like these alternating soft and aggressive touches. Cardan lifts me and throws me to the bed, so I lay on my back. He kisses my mouth again, licking my lips, then our tongues sweep around each other, while I trail my fingers over his sides. He shudders. Cardan licks my collarbone, my right nipple, circling it. This wet sensation is arousing, and then he bites it. I let out a loud moan, and put my hand over my mouth to muffle my sounds, feeling his smile against my skin. He bites me again to tease me, and it makes me chuckle between my gasps.

Cardan trails his tongue on my belly, my navel, his hands part my legs, greedily gripping my thighs. He bites my left thigh and suck on it, giving me goose flesh. Suddenly, his tongue sweeps between my legs. I roll my eyes and bite my finger, my mind going blank with the pleasure. Cardan circles his tongue on my clit, licks my folds, then sucks on it all. I cannot control my body trembling. I grip his hair, just to hold him somewhere, and Cardan moans approvingly. He bites my thigh again, and I feel his finger sliding inside me. To keep me from moaning loud, I choose to bite my hand.

Getting up to his knees, Cardan watches my every expression, while his finger moves in and out with a steady pace. He gives me a smug smirk, and I can’t get back at him, weak in pleasure. He inserts another finger, and I swirl my hips to his rhythm. I need more of him. I feel drunk, burning for him.

“Won’t you... Don’t you want to be... inside?”, I manage to ask in a whining voice.

With a grunt, Cardan falls over me as if he lost all his strength. He takes his fingers out of me slowly, kissing my mouth, closing the distance between our bodies. Cardan uses a hand over his member to help it find my entrance. I caress his chest reassuring him, he takes my hand and kisses it.

“Jude... You are magnificent”, he tells me in a soft tone.

I feel him piercing me, a painful sting takes over in place of pleasure, and I bite my lip. Cardan stops inside me, waiting for me to relax. At least one of us looks taken by pleasure. His breath hitches, and Cardan part his lips, with eyes half open, his long lashes as curtains. To see him like this helps me relax my muscles. He kisses my mouth passionately, as the first time he kissed me, making me fall in love with him once more. As if I had not already fallen for him, desperately. Cardan makes me feel as if he wants me, as if he desired me for so long that he has to make this moment last. I skim my fingertips through his back, appreciating his smooth skin and a few scars, because I want to feel it. As a reaction to my affection, Cardan shudders, and it makes me happy that he likes my touches.

Cardan kisses my throat and I embrace him, filling my lungs with his scent in the silky curls of his hair. His skin is soft and warm against my chest. Cardan’s tail is brushing its furry tip on my calf, every part of Cardan is working to give me affection. He starts moving again, without stopping his kisses. As I relax, the pleasurable heat comes back. I suck on his neck, and Cardan’s moaning arouses me, so I pull him asking for more, and he thrusts deeper.

Feeling him deeper heats me more, a different and intense sensation. My legs are over his waist, caging him. Cardan gets on his hands, thrusting into me harder and watching my face. His mouth is open, letting gasps escape him, his eyes flutter in pleasure. Then Cardan watches my breasts jumping, and bites his lip.

His eyes lower to where he is thrusting into me, and he goes harder. The heat is pulsing inside me, increasing. I move my hips to get more of him.

“ _Jude!”,_ he grunts, and falls over me as his arms fail to sustain his weight, weak in pleasure.

Cardan is aroused with me, aroused _by me_. It feels incredible!

“Cardan”, I try to moan, but it comes out almost inaudibly. Nonetheless, he hears it and his reaction is obscene. He opens his mouth as if he almost reached his climax, and was trying to contain himself from doing so. But Cardan does not increase his pace, making it last longer. He bends to lick my nipples, kiss my mouth, breathe on my neck.

“You are absurdly delicious, Jude”, he whispers in my ear.

I cannot formulate words, feeling delirious. Cardan stops his thrusts, and before I complain, he is licking the apex of my thighs, his hands pushing my legs up so he can access every inch. His tongue sweeps my rear entrance, and I had no idea it was allowed. I had no idea that it could send waves of cold and heat through my body, and make my center pulse desperately to have his length back inside. My eyes are still shut under the intensity of this feeling, when I feel Cardan back on top of me, kissing my mouth and thrusting into me, reaching a sweet spot, deep within.

My body doesn’t care that it is going to end soon if I keep making him move fast, it is selfish, so my hips try to increase the pace again. I cry out for him, with no sense of what I am muttering, feeling his cock pulsing inside me in response, and he moves harder _._ My mind is close to being lost, there is only Cardan and pleasure. I want to tease him more, and at this particularly perverted thought, I manage to choose exactly what to moan into his ear: I beg him, asking _please_ honestly, because Cardan is all I want.

“ _Fuck Jude!_ ”, he grunts heavily.

I lose reason to his thrusts, and suck on his neck as we both reach our peak together, bodies trembling in heat. Cardan keeps rocking our bodies together, kissing me, calming down. When he stops, he carefully pulls his member out of me, and lays, hugging me with his nose skimming my neck.

“I do not believe I will ever be sick of it, Jude”, he speaks against my skin.

And my heart is painfully happy, I almost cry. I hate him. _I love him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I have melted your hearts!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter beta-read by the awesome Aida <3

[Cardan’s POV]

More than once I was told that I did not deserve love, to feel it or to receive it. What is love, after all? Why would I need it? Life could be fun without this word, and it was so fun to make others suffer! My heart would beat, even if it ached frequently. I could still breathe, even if it felt wrong. Their eyes would drown in tears, their faces would contort with fear – here comes the cruel prince. Feel pain for me, run from me, do not bore me. The years passed me by, as I fed the monster within me. I grew up to be admired by my cruelty. All the young gentry wanted to be my friend. They desired me, envied me.

Loneliness, that was my true friend. I could have all the fun that I wanted, but this dear friend of mine would not leave me. Not when my father wouldn’t look at me, unless it was strictly necessary; not when my siblings would be praised by their great achievements, while I was the incompetent prince. No, loneliness would come to bed with me and embrace me. Tonight my friend left me. All the holes and cracks in my heart remain, although now there is something else – a feeling – strong enough to keep it together without pain. It tastes like hope. It warms me, and it sounds familiar. I can hear it, my heart beats for this feeling. It named the feeling. _Jude_.

Sex has been part of my fun since puberty started. Besides being cruel, I was a great partner in bed. Now, sex is something else. It _is_ fun, but there is more to it. It is about how my name sounds in her sweet voice, it is about the way she touches me, and the way she lets me touch her. Jude arouses me if she acts stubbornly, if she punches me during our training, if she mocks me, or even if she just gazes at me for long enough. We have sex almost every night, some nights more than once. Jude’s body is addictive, I want more of it even if I have just touched her. We have had sex all over my room, Jude sitting on my lap facing me, Jude sitting on my lap with her back turned to me. We have done it in the tub and over my desk. With Jude on all fours her ass up, I had buried my face between her legs, gripping her buttocks enough to leave bruises. We had sex in her room, we had sex in the palace, and I am not tired of it. I can’t think of having anyone other than her.

Nicasia has told me to be careful, that someone may think that I am in love with Jude, and I believe that I am. Deeply. Jude is an incredible girl, strong and intelligent, and brings out sides of me that I thought I was not capable of having, nor allowed to express. She makes me think about life, and not just let it pass. I have even come to trust her. And the glittering in her beautiful chestnut eyes, the change in her breathing when she sights me, all her touches and smiles... I think Jude is in love with me as well. I hope so.

We are lying on the floor of her balcony, stargazing. Our hands together, my thumb caressing the back of her hand. I turn to look at her. Marvelous Jude.

“Tell me a lie”

Jude giggles, it lightens up my heart. She turns to look at me. Her eyes meet mine in a meaningful gaze.

“I hate you”

What a blow! A magnificent lie, making me close my eyes to absorb it. I did not know one could be this happy, I did not know that I was allowed to feel it. There are so many things that I wish to tell Jude, first of all, that I love her. That each beating of this wicked heart is for her. My eyes meet hers. Jude’s cheek are slightly pink, the embarrassment of her lie, but there is something else, lust I assume.

She does not let me answer. Jude kisses me, rolling on top of me. She lowers my trousers just enough to pull my member out of them, stroking without patience so it hardens. It is not a difficult task, given my feelings for her. Jude takes the skirt of her yellow dress out of the way, and sits, taking me in, as we grunt together. I am never going to get enough of this. My hand kneads her breast over the fabric of her dress. The censure to my touch is another kind of arousal. Jude grabs my shirt and rides me, controlling the pace. My tail goes underneath her dress, coiling itself around Jude’s waist, my hands skim her thighs to reach her buttocks, grasping them, putting more pressure to our thrusts.

Jude falls over me, kissing my mouth, allowing my hips to move. It feels incredible, the warmth of her core, pulsing over my length, all drenched in lust for me.

“Tell me again”, I ask her, embracing her closer so my mouth invades her dress to graze my teeth on her nipple.

“ _I hate you!_ ”, it comes out in a low whining. “I hate you, I hate you!”

I lock her in position, my grip on her buttocks, and my hips move faster, deeper. Every encounter of her parts with the base of my member increases my heat. It is producing obscene sounds as I go harder. Jude takes the fabric of the skirt of her dress to her mouth, muffing her moans. I suck on her nipple, hard, it will probably leave a bruise, but Jude reacts more aroused by it, shuddering. She is trembling out of control, in orgasm, her core pulsing more intensely, making me feverish. Jude mutters a swear, as she stops moving, and takes the clothe out of her mouth. It makes me chuckle.

Jude sits, with me still inside her, her chest heaving. She runs her hands over her hair, twisting it to make a low bun in the back of her head. I love her like this; with crimson cheeks and swollen lips. I sit up, embracing her with one arm. Breathing her scent on her neck, I start rocking our bodies together, and hold her hand, lacing our fingers.

“My sweet villain, I shall work hard to keep you hating me like this”, I smile against her skin.

“You have a natural talent, you don’t need to work hard for that” Jude giggles in my ear, giving me goose flesh.

I nip her ear, “It seems that I am a fast learner”, my mouth on the shell of her ear, “and now I know what makes your blood rush in your veins, what makes your blood boil”, I brush my lips on her earlobe. “Tell me, am I doing it right?”

“Yes”, Jude whispers weakly.

It makes me chuckle against her ear, and Jude shudders. As a chain reaction, a groan escapes me. Our mouths meet, and I feel Jude swirling her hips

“You are a fast learner as well”, I cry out.

Jude starts to move up and down slowly, almost letting my member escape her, just to sit back, taking all of my length inside her, using one hand on my shoulder and my hand that she is holding as a support to help her move. I let Jude have me, until it gets painfully slow. So I take off my shirt, and pull Jude’s dress up, away from her, as she keeps her pace. Now that I can see our bodies meeting, it makes me roll my eyes in pleasure. Holding Jude’s thighs, I roll over her, letting Jude lay on her back on the ground, and keep my arms under the back of her knees, to thrust into her. Jude quickly takes the fabric of her dress to muffle her moans again, as my member meets her sweet spot, deep inside. I make it harder, biting her calf, watching her come undone by me.

“ _Cardan..._ ”, her voice in a whining, warning me that she is reaching her climax again.

I am moving as fast as I can, burning in pleasure. I feel her core pulsing violently, and I lose it, succumbing to her trembles, grunting her name as low as I can manage, so no one may hear it outside the room. Our breath calms down as we watch each other.

“I should also have used your dress to muffle my voice. Smart girl”

We laugh together, and I cradle her cheek with a hand, a thumb stroking her warm skin.

“Will you sleep here? The sun is rising”, Jude asks.

“Do you want me to?”

“Yes”, there, a smile out of fondness. I smile back.

“Lets clean ourselves, then”

\--

Breakfast with Madoc is a suicidal attempt on my part. If he did not suspect before that I was kissing his daughter, now that I had slept in her room without anyone knowing it, Madoc was sure that I was more than kissing Jude. And by the threat in his eyes, he thinks I am playing her. Did Jude lose Madoc’s trust when she fell victim to Locke’s games? Does Madoc not trust her judgment?

“How come Cardan is here so soon? Did he sleep here?”, Oak asks beside me on the table.

My dear friend who knows _exactly_ when to ask questions, the same questions that should not be asked, ever.

“He did”, Madoc answers.

His calm voice gives me an uncomfortable chill, and I start eating.

“Why did no one told me?”, Oak pouts, “I would have tried to keep awake, so we could play more games!”

“You are not his only friend”, Jude answers her brother, showing him her tongue. Oak shows his tongue back, and Oriana doesn’t know what to do, glancing at me as if trying to apologize.

“Does this friendship involve making Jude sad, scared or anything of the like?”, Madoc stares me.

“Not at all”, I answer. I want him to see that Jude is important to me. “I hope this friendship to last, and to bring happiness to Jude as she does to me”

I feel my words were quite intense to digest so early in the evening. Although I am not ashamed, I feel embarrassed to state such a declaration to Jude’s family. All their eyes are on me, Oriana has her mouth open in surprise, Oak is looking satisfied, Vivienne has a cheeky smirk, Madoc is evaluating me, and Jude is as shocked as she is embarrassed, face bright red. It makes me grin, and this time I am not afraid of Madoc’s glare.

We finish eating and since it is a day off of lessons, Oak is already pulling me to play with him. We are in the middle of the hallway to his room, when Vivienne jumps on me from the side with her arm forming a hook on my neck. Even if she is older than me, she is smaller, so her weight on my shoulders makes me bend to my side. Oak laughs at his sister’s attack.

“What about that talk that Jude was not the same as what you had with Nicasia, or what Heather and I have?”

She doesn’t free me, and I sigh, annoyed.

“I think you misunderstood me”, I tell her. “I loved Nicasia, but what I had with her was not what you have with Heather”

“And you love Jude now, the way I love Heather”, Vivienne is not asking.

“I won’t say the words to _you_ ”, I snarl, and Vivienne finally releases me.

“Why not? Aren’t we friends?”, she gives me a spirited smile.

“Vivi, you don’t know a thing!” Oak rolls his eyes. “Cardan has to tell Jude _first_ , of course!”

Oak’s perceptive senses has its uses. I give Vivienne a last look, then leave with Oak to play card games in his room. Jude comes to joins us an hour after, she took a bath and still has wet hair. We play until lunch, and when I sit with the family again, Madoc turns to me.

“You are still here”

I grin at him, firstly out of habit of annoying people, then secondly because I am nervous again. Madoc barks a laugh at me. It feels like he is welcoming me into his family, and it makes my heart stutter. This time Jude is the first to reach me after eating, and Oriana calls on Oak to do something before he complains. We walk around the gardens while talking, and I steal kisses from Jude. She asks me if I never really thought about the possibility of being King.

“I am not a good option to be the High King, Jude”, I tell her. “We both know it”

“I don’t think that. I think you never thought about it because of your family hatred, but it does not mean that any of them could be a good ruler. Balekin and Dain are most likely to be the next king, but do you think either of them are going to be a good ruler? You see, Madoc lent me all these books about strategists, rulers and generals. What does it mean to be a good ruler? To be at war after war and win them all?”, Jude looks at me, and smiles, taking a curl of my hair out of my face. “I bore you with this talk, right? I just have read too much of Madoc’s books lately”

“You do not bore me”, I take her hand in mine, and look at her with a smirk on. “If you come to bore me, I will let you know. I will probably kiss you so you will stop talking”

“So, will you talk to me about your answer to Madoc? Or am I supposed to accept that and move on with life?”, Jude struggles to look me in the eyes. She is afraid to ask for more than a declaration of friendship.

I brush a knuckle down her cheek, just to touch her, just because I cannot keep my hand to myself.

“I spent much of my life guarding my heart”, I tell her. “I guarded it so well that I could behave as though I didn’t have one at all. Even now, it is a shabby, worm-eaten, and scabrous thing. But it is yours”

Jude’s eyes are wide open, as if I had magically learned how to tell a lie, and lied to her face just now. I hold her close, an arm on her waist and a hand cupping her cheek. Jude is still trying to figure out some trick in my words. I understand why she would doubt me, but it still pains me. As long as she does not leave me now, I can bear it. I kiss her soft lips. She must feel it, Jude must realize now that my kiss means ‘I love you’. We hear riders and turn to see who is arriving. It is Balekin and three knights following him.

My brother looks at me disgusted. It does not surprise me that he would not like to see me kissing a human girl, but it still makes me _furious_. They enter the house. Jude touches my arm to try to regain my attention, and I growl. She steps back. Did I just try to scare Jude? After I declared that my heart is hers to keep? Oh Cardan, you deserve loneliness as a friend. I lower my head to avoid Jude’s eyes, and leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [listen to “Sweet dreams” / Marilyn Manson]


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter beta-read by the awesome Aida <3

[Jude’s POV]

It is him. It is Balekin’s spy.

It has been four months since I surprised Cardan in his bedroom. I thought he would toss me aside after the first time, or any time after, but he stayed. He even approached me during our lunch break, of our lessons, with all our classmates watching. I could hear them saying things behind my back; that I was after some position at Court, which was why I tried to have Locke, and now I was after the prince himself. They would say that I had to be good in bed, or Cardan wouldn’t come after me like that. Valerian glared me more often, probably planning my death. Nicasia ignored me. And I still am not talking with Taryn.

All these rumors stop bothering me as soon as I see Cardan. I love him, and he seems to be in very good humor lately, which makes me feel happy. Then it started, about a month after our first night, I realized I was being followed after leaving Hollow Hall. Was it someone that had discovered my identity as Dain’s spy? Was I putting Cardan in danger? This person would follow me frequently, and I didn’t know if they were trying to be secretive about their presence and I was too good noticing them, or what.

Last week I was returning home from a particularly adventurous romp that I had with Cardan in the woods, and I saw this man up in the tree branch. Perhaps he was too distracted from what he had just watched, which led him to be spotted. Cardan was already gone, heading back to Hollow Hall. The spy had white straight hair, long enough for some strands of hair fall to his face. His skin was dark beige, in contrast to his almost transparent eyelashes and brows. Green eyes, that kept staring at me since I had not screamed nor done anything at all at his sight. He was assessing me, judging me. When he decided it was long enough, he left, jumping branches, and I went back to Madoc’s estate.

He is here, as Balekin’s Knight, but I bet it is just a disguise, and he is actually Balekin’s spy. I see Balekin is going inside my house, to talk to Madoc. Is he going to ask Madoc about me being a spy? Balekin take a last glance at Cardan, full with disgust. Is it because Cardan is with me? A human girl? And a spy. Oh, Balekin would punish Cardan for being with Dain’s spy, and bringing me to Hollow Hall, where I could get any information! What should I do? Maybe Cardan could sleep here again, that would give us time to think about it. And Cardan just said... My heart flutters with his words. He just told me that his heart was mine! Cardan! And I didn’t say that my heart was his, for a long time now.

I reach my hand to Cardan’s arm, and he growls at me. A terrifying guttural growl, with so much hatred in his eyes. Involuntary I take a step back, with a shiver running through my body. I have no idea what face I am making, but his eyes change to sorrow, his face contorts in pain, and he lowers his head to avoid me, then leaves. As much as I want to run after him and embrace him, I am still frozen in fear of my cruel prince. So I let him go, and it hurts to do so.

It must have passed some time, since Balekin is coming out of the house. A satisfied smile plays in the corner of his mouth as he sees that Cardan is no longer here.

“Jude?” Madoc calls me.

Does he know? Am I going to be punished for being a spy? I follow Madoc to his study, and close the door behind me. I try to breathe normally, but Cardan’s growl and love words are suffocating me.

“Are you sick?” Madoc asks, sitting behind his desk.

“No”, I lie, and sit in the root chair in front of his desk. “What did you want? To share Balekin’s secret plans?”

Madoc laughs. That is a good sign, I think. At least he is not shouting. Yet.

“Between the things that Balekin said to me, he was angry that I let my mortal daughter get close to prince Cardan. So I wanted to ask if you truly want to keep this relationship with the young Greenbriar, because heavens, that boy is in love with you”

Cardan’s growl was not very loving, but his words... I don’t know what to make of the situation. I remember Cardan telling me that he used to turn to me when he felt anger because of Balekin’s actions. Will he always be like this? Should I keep fearing him? Knowing the reason of his anger does not change things, if he were to keep scaring me.

“I do love him, Madoc”, I tell him. Speaking out loud makes me want to cry, but I hold it in. “And I want him close. But you... You loved my mother and we know how that ended. He told us over breakfast that he wanted to make me happy, but he cannot control every little thing that surround us. What if he gets angry at me, as you got angry with my mother?”

I was not expecting to have this kind of conversation with Madoc, telling him my fear of loving someone that could turn out to kill me in the end. We hated each other once, it was not like Cardan could not go back to hating me again. Madoc fingers play distractedly with a piece of paper as he chooses his words.

“You know, I didn’t like Cardan” he sighs. “But you made me give him another chance. No, you did not ask, you didn’t have to. Cardan was trying to be your friend, even before what had happened between you and Taryn. Faeries don’t usually try to befriend humans, even less the Greenbriars. It made me curious about him, that is why I offered to train him with you. Would he be afraid of me? Would he stop coming to our home after taking a blow right on to his face from a human? As you have seen, Cardan kept coming. I don’t know if I can say that he has changed, or if he was a good boy and no one gave him the opportunity to be good. Except, you. Does it mean that he won’t try to kill you? I still don’t know him enough to answer that. However, I think you do”

Wow.

Woooow.

Madoc was acting like a caring father and giving me love advice. But he is right, I do know that Cardan is not a killer. I am. Nonetheless, Cardan can still hurt me. If we love each other, as it seems to be the case, we will just have to learn how to love, since we both grew up with dark hearts.

“You said you didn’t like Cardan... Does that mean that you like the brat prince now?” I laugh at Madoc’s face.

“Don’t you have a book to read, a game to play with Oak now?”, he glares me.

“OH! You do like him! We cannot let him know, his ego will be beyond Elfhame to get a hold of!”

Madoc laughs and I leave for my room. I am still laughing as I close the door, when a chill down my spine makes my laugh die. I turn to see a shadow on the balcony. It is Balekin’s spy. The curtains fly with the wind, allowing me to see his face. He is not wearing his Knight armor, but his dark green cloak, the hood is down. He does not need to hide, I already know his face.

“I am going to call the guards!”, I threaten him, remembering Dain’s words to look weak in my enemy’s eyes. “I am going to scream for Madoc!”

“Shush girl”, his low voice crosses the room, deep, creeping me out. “I came to warn you, Jude Duarte. You ought not continue your relationship with Prince Cardan, or Balekin will have you killed”

“Cardan decides who he wants to be with”, I return.

“But you don’t”, he takes a step closer. “You may call me Skull, if you wish. If you are after sex, you could have me and leave Cardan. You can ask some of his old partners, they will tell you that I am good. Prince Cardan will tire of you, so why persist?”

“If Balekin was so sure that Cardan would tire of me, he wouldn’t have sent you after me”

Skull is closer, by my bed. Now I can see he is taller than Cardan, slender, and looks a bit older. Since he is faerie, I cannot tell how much older he could be.

“I have heard it before, that Prince Cardan became interested in you because you try to not show fear, and you do not know how to keep your mouth shut or your head down”, the cold in his voice wakes something in my head that is telling me to run.

“I told you that I will scream, so stop approaching!”, I tell him, but my voice fails me, which brings a devilish smile to the corner of his mouth.

“Stay by Prince Cardan’s side, and you will scream”, Skull holds my face in a tight grip with just one hand, then bends so that his face is close enough that our lips almost touch. Even his breath is cold. “I will make sure of it”.

Skull leaves through the balcony, and I am shaking with his threat. Perhaps I had received a great deal of threats tonight, and it was too much to process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you thought that Madoc didn’t like Cardan in the books, well, I kinda agree. But in this fic, as Jude found out, I made Madoc approve of Cardan. Please don’t hate me!


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter beta-read by the awesome Aida <3

[Jude's POV]

Was Cardan doubting himself? I suppose it is not easy to love a human. Perhaps he had come to his senses after Balekin’s glare, perhaps they had a serious discussion, listing reasons why the Folk do not usually fall in love with humans. Cardan has not come to lessons for two consecutive days, and I fear I have lost him. At lunch break, Valerian storms after me in the courtyard, grabbing me by my wrist so I can’t run.

“What have you, _filthy human thing_ , done to Cardan?”, he hisses.

Nicasia approaches us, she does not seem approvingly of Valerian’s action, but she is curious, her eyes look to his grip on my wrist with repulsion, and she lifts a brow as she meets my eyes. Locke and Taryn are right after, and I see that Taryn is struggling, trying to think if she could help, or if she _should_ help me at all.

“If you think I can do anything to Cardan, then you are underestimating your precious prince”, I try to pull from his grip, but he tightens it. It is hurting me.

“We all know you are a tricky liar”, Valerian scoffs. “Cardan wouldn’t miss lessons out of the blue, while you get to show your face here, after pretending that you are in love with him”

“Let go of me!”, I try to pull back again, failing. “Are you implying that I schemed, making everyone think that I was in love, and suddenly avenged myself? It is a good plan, sure, but I was never conceited enough to think that Cardan would fall for me”

“Oh Jude, please”, Locke says mocking me. “I bet you always knew that Cardan looked at you differently. I bet you even kissed _me_ thinking of him!”

Valerian is confused by Locke’s words. Apparently, only Locke suspected that Cardan felt something for me that was not hate. Perhaps that is why he approached me to begin with – taking Nicasia from Cardan was not enough, Locke wanted to steal anyone that could love Cardan. And _I_ am the one being called filthy.

“Let her go, Valerian”, Nicasia says in a monotonous tone, as if she is bored. “We can go to Hollow Hall after lessons and find out for ourselves, if you are so worried about him”

“And you are not worried, Nicasia?”, Valerian keeps glaring me. “Even if Cardan is absent because he has drunk too much before going to bed, this is a good opportunity to get rid of this girl. After all, she should have never been close to Prince Cardan”

“Tell him that”, Nicasia sneers. “Tell that to Cardan’s face”

Why is she helping me? No, she is not. Nicasia is Cardan’s friend, and I see that she does care for him, unlike his other ‘friends’. Valerian loosens his grip, and I rip my hand away from his hand. There is a purple bruise where he was holding my wrist.

“He will grow bored of you”, Valerian says with disgust to my face. “And I shall feast on your humiliation when he does”

Taryn is the last to leave, eager to talk to me, but not daring to.

\--

The third day Cardan is absent makes me worried that something has actually happened. None of his friends glance at me. Just Taryn, trying to give me a consolation look. Did Balekin really beat Cardan because he was kissing Dain’s spy? I have to see him. Even if Cardan does not wish to be with me anymore, that would be better than having him hurt and broken. I go home, first. Perhaps Cardan will come to spar with me and Madoc. Only, he does not. Madoc gives me a supportive look before going to his study. I take a bath, change into black breeches and brown shirt, with boots and a cloak, then I leave for Hollow Hall.

As I sneak into the yard and arrive at the front door, I crouch behind a shrub to hide from a knight. I watch him walk away, and I am ready to run to the servant’s entrance, but the front door startles me.

“My prince’s lady, Jude Duarte. Do you wish to come inside?”

I look around, and it doesn’t seem that anyone is near.

“I do”

The door opens, pleased with itself, and I run through it, sneaking into Cardan’s room. There is a man servant with a rigid face changing the bedding set, and no sign of Cardan himself. I take a step inside, and clear my throat, but as I expected, the servant ignores me.

“You are no smart girl, coming here after I have warned you” his cold voice gives me an unpleasant thrill, and I jump further in the room to get away from him.

“Skull”

“So you _can_ remember something”, he sneers, taking a step closer.

The spy is wearing his knight armor, and the only weak spots are from his neck to his head. It would be wise to not fight him.

“Where is Cardan?”, I ask, trying to keep my voice steady.

“Not here”, Skull is expressionless, showing nothing, not even sarcasm to his statement.

It might not be wise to try and find Cardan either. What if things get worse for him? What if either Balekin or Skull ends up hurting him? Or what if Cardan does not care what happens to me? No, I have to run away. I glance to the balcony, and suddenly Skull punches me in my stomach. I didn’t see him moving, but I see him raising another fist, and I dodge it. Fist after fist, Skull tries to hit me, I dodge and he uses his elbow, I dodge to a side and try to kick out his ankles. There is no way I can beat him in this armor. With a surge of brilliance, I leap onto Cardan’s bed, and jump, bringing my leg across his face in a vicious kick.

As Skull falls down, he manages to grab my ankle, and pulls me down with him. I try to kick him again, but he gets up, keeping his grip so I can’t run, and Skull kicks my stomach. My mind goes foggy, I cannot breathe straight. Skull crouches, leaving my ankle to grip my hair. Coughing and squirming, my hands try to free me from his torturous grip. The servant is still here, humming to himself, starting the bed all over again as if nothing was happening. I am scared. Skull’s nose is broken from my earlier kick, bleeding, but he maintains his blank face. He lifts my head closer to his, and it hurts, I grunt in pain. Then he brushes his lips against my ear as if he were my paramour. His cold breath brings fear to my skin in goosebumps.

“Sweet dreams, Jude”, he bashes my head on the ground, and I pass out.

\--

It must have been hours since I have been thrown here – wherever _here_ is. It looks like a well, but not deep. I can reach the grid above me that is keeping me imprisoned, but I cannot see a thing, it is too dark. Nevertheless, I can hear my neighbor weeping. My knifes and dagger are gone from my pockets, my stomach hurts from Skull’s kick, and I have a bump with a cut in my forehead. Rubbing my arms to build up heat, I walk from side to side thinking of possibilities. A door opens above, and there is light. I stop moving, perhaps I even hold my breath.

Whoever brings the lamp, does not come closer to my cell. The person lays the lamp somewhere fixed, and I hear more steps until, what sounds like, water is being thrown over my neighbor. It seems like it is an old man, crying out more openly now.

“Have you made up your mind?”, it is Skull’s cold voice. “Tell me how you are sorry to be alive”

“I am! I am!” the old man mutters between sobs. “ _please!”_

“What are you begging for?”, I hear Skull walking, he is moving things, and I fear I know what it is. I fear it is something that will cause pain to my neighbor.

“Please, have mercy!”

_Smack._

A loud slap silences my neighbor, and I realize that I am shaking in fear.

“No! You trash of a being, lousy mortal! You shall be punished again!”

I know that sound as well. It is the same from when I watched Balekin having Cardan beaten by his servant. I count them, thirty times. Silent tears run down my cheek, sad for this poor old man, and afraid of suffering the same destiny. Will I ever see my family again? Will I die of torture without ever giving Taryn another chance? And Cardan... Will he miss me?

Water is thrown over me, and I look up to meet Skull’s gaze, unreadable.

“If you survive the cold, we shall meet again, and I shall fulfill my promise to make you scream”

He leaves with the lamp.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter beta-read by the awesome Aida <3

[Jude’s POV]

Torture is an art. One must learn how to keep emotionless, and must know all their tools to control how much longer the victim shall last. The first beating that I took was to test how much I could endure it. After that, Skull came to visit me to throw more water over me, and old food to keep me alive. I don’t know how much time has passed, it must have been a few days. What was my family thinking? And what about Cardan? Maybe he has not looked for me since our last encounter.

I keep thinking of him. It helps me to keep scheming to get out of here. I think my neighbor is dead. There was enough time to plan, so once Skull takes me out of my holding cell for my next beating, I give him what he deserves. I use the last of my strength to throw him to the ground, and run, because I know I cannot fight him yet. Running up the stairs with Skull right at my heel, I find myself out of Hollow Hall’s dungeon, and I am not that surprised by it, since Skull is Balekin’s spy. My plan of not involving Cardan in this remains, I do not want Cardan harmed.

The fastest and best way to get out of Hollow Hall is through the servants entrance, and once I am out, I have to keep running without being seen by the guards. I am close to the woods, but I am failing to keep my pace, out of breath and in pain. Skull catches me, and we stumble over each other, falling to the ground. My entire body is aching, and I feel furious at myself. There is movement, between the bushes, and I jump out of Skull’s reach. It could be another knight.

“Jude!”, Cardan’s voice brings a storm of feelings to me, and I almost lose it and start crying. “I saw you running- What happened to you?”

“Stay back, my prince”, Skull tells Cardan, stepping closer to me with a knife in his hand. Cardan looks for the first time to Skull, and I can see he is having trouble choosing what to feel. “This filthy human was using you, but do not worry, I am going to take care of her”

“What?”, Cardan tries to step in, but Skull puts himself between me and Cardan.

“I believe Jude Duarte is a spy, and that is why she approached you, so she could have more information on the Greenbriars”, Skull doesn’t take his eyes from me, with his inexpressive face. I don't know how much longer I can last standing.

Dizziness blurs my vision for a moment, and my body feels heavy. A bead of cold sweat runs down my back, and I am conscious of my uneven breathing. I shake my head, trying to keep focused. 

“So you think she is a spy and in some kind of conspiracy, planning my family’s fall?”, Cardan asks. Maybe he is trying to draw Skull’s attention enough to let me run away. His eyes look from me to Skull, continuously, waiting for any subtle quick movement.

“Yes. Think, my prince! General Madoc is training it, it can lie, and _it_ is mortal, which would not mean a great loss if _it_ were caught”, Skull answers.

It. A human being called ‘it’.

“She could be Madoc’s spy...”, Cardan looks like he is trying to plan something, but he is struggling with it. “Did you tell Balekin already? My brother will be furious at the general...”

“I still do not have enough proof to tell Prince Balekin, my prince. I didn’t even tell him that I was keeping it as a prisoner”

“And what if Jude Duarte is not a spy? What if you are trying to kill her just because my brother does not like to see me with a human? What should I do to you? Am I not your prince?”

Something dark crosses Skull’s face, but I cannot discern if it is fear, anger, or repulsion. What I can tell, though, is that Skull does not like Cardan.

“You may ask your brother, my prince. He will tell you what you should do”

“Balekin likes to tell me what to do often, does he not? Now, I am asking you. Did you hurt Jude because she is human?”, Cardan lifts his chin with a scowl.

It was not _just_ because of that, but Skull is faerie, and can’t lie. He is conflicted, and at that, Skull turns slightly to take a glimpse of Cardan. This is my moment. I advance towards Skull with no hesitation, a quick movement to steal his knife, and before he has the time to react, the blade is buried in his throat. His blood drenches me, and I watch him try to reach Cardan, but Skull falls to the ground, trembling, dying. His eyes on mine, so many expressions passes through his face now. Until there is only death.

I look up to stare at Cardan.

“Are you going to growl at me again?”

He flinches.

“Can you still give me your heart after watching me kill? It was not the first time, and probably not the last”, I dare him to walk away and call on his guards.

Cardan’s face contorts in sorrow. He closes his eyes to inhale, then lets out a heavy breath.

“Jude, I love you. Although, it does not mean that I make it easy to love me, I do wish that you will stay by my side, even with my flaws. I would never raise a hand against you out of hatred, Jude!”

“Good”, I tell him. I cannot manage much, I am still processing things. I have been through a lot. “I have to get rid of his body. Can you bring me a shovel so I can bury him?”

Cardan nods and leaves me. He returns with two shovels, and we start digging in silence. The act of digging clears my mind and it helps to put things in perspective. I push Skull’s body to the hole, and we bury it. Cardan covers me with his cloak, and I follow him to his room. He calls on a healer in secrecy, that comes to treat me in silence, while a servant starts preparing the tub so I can bathe. I have to undress, and Cardan is horrified by all the bruises that I got. The healer gives me a couple of bottles to drink a cup each six hours, to help me heal and endure pain, and a pot of some sort of paste that will also help the process. He leaves the room with the servant, and I watch Cardan, afflicted.

“Jude, you could have died!”

“I am mortal, one of these days I will die anyways”, I shrug. “But I am tough, so it might not be so soon”

“Jude!”, Cardan looks like he is about to cry.

I touch his face, just to feel he is real, and that I am not in the dungeons dreaming of him. He _feels_ real. Cardan takes my hand to kiss it. There is still Skull’s dried blood stuck to my hand, but Cardan does not seem to care. He takes me to the bathing chamber, helping me to get inside the tub. The water is hot, and I had forgotten that I was cold. I wash my face, and silent tears start running down my cheeks. Cardan takes off his shirt, folding it and leaving it in the shelf. He takes the root chair closer to the tub, and sits. Carefully, he pours water over my head with a basin, then takes a pot which contains a cream that smells like roses, and passes it through my hair, untangling each knot, massaging my head. He uses the basin again, to rinse off the excess of the cream in my hair.

With more care, Cardan uses a brush to scrub my skin, cleaning all the dirt from being a prisoner, and all the blood stains. I can’t avoid the flinches, since it hurts. He scrubs even my toenails, but he lets me take care of my private parts. Cardan helps me out of the tub, and covers me with his robe, using a towel to dry me off and not let me be cold. He makes me sit on the root chair, while he brushes my hair, then he uses the healer’s cream over my ugliest wounds. Wearing a clean black shirt from his wardrobe, Cardan makes me sit at that table by the corner of his room, and I eat a tray of food, while a servant cleans the bathing chamber.

“It has been six days since I last saw you”, Cardan tells me. “I was not trying to avoid you, but I didn’t go after you, nor attended lessons. Nicasia came to see me, telling me that our classmates thought that you had killed me and ran away, and when she left, I was planning to go see you at Madoc’s estate. But I saw you running from Hollow Hall, and thought that you had come to see me... And well, you know the rest of it. What should I tell your family?”

Since it is six days since he last saw me, then discounting the three days that I was fine and at home and had not seen him, I have been in the dungeons about three days.

“I can write them”, I tell him. “But can I stay here for a couple of days? It would be enough so I can walk without looking like I am going to pass out in pain”

Cardan gives me a kind smile.

“A couple of days, or more. Your presence here warms my heart. I hope Balekin doesn’t put another on the task to take you away from me”

“Let him, I can bury another body”

Cardan’s smile vanishes.

“I could not bear burying _your_ body, Jude”

I reach out to touch his cheek, and Cardan closes his eyes. How beautiful he is, afraid of losing me, taking care of me, loving me.

“I love you, you know?”, I tell him. Cardan opens his eyes, and keeps his cheek in my hand, leaning his head to maintain the contact. The golden rim of his eyes shine, he is happy. “I love you, Cardan”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there :)  
> It turned out to be fine, with Skull dead. He was a made up character to heat things up.   
> Some may wonder where was Cardan when Jude was captured in his bedroom, well, as Skull said - not there. He could be at the palace or even in Hollow Hall but in another room that didn't allow him to hear Jude struggling, it can happen to visit someone and the person is not there. So that is it, Cardan was not there for the dramatics. 
> 
> And Jude says 'I love you' YAY


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter beta-read by the awesome Aida <3
> 
> A song, just because: Of Monsters and Men | “Wolves without teeth”

[Cardan’s POV]

When Balekin saw me kissing Jude by the gardens of Madoc’s Stronghold, he was as furious with me as I was with him. The difference is that Balekin has power over me, and I ended up taking another beating. It was so nasty, that I couldn’t attend lessons the next three days. And as I was laying about, recovering, I felt ashamed for growling at Jude. Turning my hatred to her again out of habit, it was not even because it was Jude – my sweet nemesis – but because she was the nearest around me. How could I face her after being so contradictory? Giving my heart to her, confessing my love, and moments later I was growling, scaring her. Thankfully, we are past it now, Jude is safe again, even if her wounds are far worse than mine.

Jude has fully recovered, faster than I thought. Now she has a few scars like mine on her back, but I think that what the healer gave her was strong enough to help most of her skin recover, first by healing wounds and bruises, then erasing scars. Jude had lied to her family, saying that she fell somewhere, and that is why she had a big cut in her forehead. She never told them about all the other injuries. It angers me, and pains me to remember her body from the night we had buried Balekin’s spy. I have been doing all that I can to help her heal and rest, but Jude has already gone back training with Madoc. It made me furious, at first, that she wouldn’t take a break for her body. Anyhow, it is Jude. We have to learn to bear each other’s stubbornness.

Ever since I realized that I love Jude Duarte, I kept thinking about Vivienne’s words, on how she wishes to live with Heather in the human realm. Balekin’s attempt to take Jude from me helped me decide on the life that I want to live from now on. I still cannot compromise to great efforts, however, I do plan on taking measures. If I make the right arrangements, it is possible to keep a life of revels and acquire a certain amount of power. It only takes the mind of an undeserving and lay about prince for this plan to work. Instead of surrounding me by knights that are only after bloodshed, I start approaching those who are good fighters and know how to enjoy life as I do – with wine and sex.

I order people around to organize parties at Hollow Hall, with the purpose of making allies or bonds. Jude attends some of my parties, although not all of them, since she has spy duty to fulfill. Besides, Locke comes often with or without Taryn. Jude is still not talking to her twin, but does not run from her anymore, and Locke is always good to have around at parties, since he is a good entertainer. I listen to my guests fighting stories, and as they get used to Jude as my partner, some guests start enjoying her presence. Jude knows more about combat than I do, so her commentaries over their stories are better than mine. I love to watch her excitement as they talk. And I like to pay attention, so I can learn new tricks.

It was hard, but I had convinced The Roach to teach me how to use a dagger. He scrunched his nose at me when I asked, however, when I offered a few bottles of wine, The Roach agreed. We train three times a week for one hour, after I sparred with Jude and Madoc. The Roach was impressed that I had skills, and I found myself enjoying this new way of combat, and his company. Sometimes after training we drink together, and the Roach tells me adventures from his old times. I tease him, calling him an old man, and he snaps back at me, calling me a brat.

As I had thought, Balekin does not interfere with my parties, not thinking much of it, since it does not seem much different from what I usually do. Rhya suspects me, asking me what I am scheming.

“I am growing up, dear sister”, I tell her. “It might not be exactly as you all wished for, nonetheless, here I am”

We are dining together at the palace, since we had a visit from another Court, my father had all the family reunited for appearances. They are laughing loud and talking ill about the Unseelie Court, not paying attention to me and Rhya. The table is rich with food and wine, we have been here for a couple of hours already.

“Are you now?”, Rhya sneers, and I roll my eyes at her, taking a sip from my acorn cup. “Would you be interested in joining me in battle? Or perhaps in a formal visit to the lower Courts?”

“I could accompany you to the formal visit, and try out their wine”, I answer her with a wry smile, and this time Rhya rolls her eyes to me.

From what she asked me, Rhya knows about my approaching some promising knights, and that is all of it. Good. I do not want her telling me what I should or should not do, as Balekin does. I have been corresponding with other Folk through letters. With Valerian’s help, I convinced his friend Linnet to trade different kinds of alcohol, including Nevermore bottles. That was another reason for my parties at Hollow Hall, so my guests would know about my endeavor. Now Linnet is my partner in business, and we were inspired by a drink from the human world, so we try to brew other fruits besides grape, producing other kinds of flavored alcohol. Politically, I think it is good to have Nicasia as my friend, given she is the princess of the Undersea, but Nicasia is also good for business, since she knows a lot of people.

I received a letter from the Alderking, inviting me to his revel. The letter said I could bring someone, and I invited Jude. I took a carriage to Madoc’s estate, and I am waiting for Jude in the living room, with Madoc and Oak keeping me company. My heavy dark clothes contrasts with the warm feeling the decoration of the room gives.

“Does your father know that you are going to attend the Alderking’s revel?”, Madoc asks me.

“You know my father does not bother himself with me, Madoc”, I shrug.

Madoc is wary of me, but does not ask for more. Jude comes to the living room, and I feel my cheeks flush. She is wearing a dark blue gown which deepens to black by the end of the skirt and the end of her tight sleeves. The bodice is tight, and from her waist down it is loose, with a kind slit exposing her left leg as she walks. The sleeves start at chest height, inviting me to trail my mouth from shoulder to shoulder, and ends by her wrist. Her hair was made elegantly by Tatterfell in one of my favorite styles: a part of it is loose, cascading in auburn waves down her back, and a part of it was made into two braided horns.

“You are breath taking”, I tell her.

Jude gives me a genuine smile, and my heart flutters. I rise to take her hand.

“Oh, she _is_ beautiful!”, Vivienne comes after her sister, her cat eyes glittering in happiness.

“Well, you must already know it, but you are looking marvelous tonight”, Jude tells me. Oriana nods approvingly by Jude's side.

“It is good to hear it”, I smile.

Madoc rises with Oak in his arms. “Oh, stop flirting in my living room! Don’t you have a revel to attend to?”

We laugh.

“Shall we?”, I ask Jude, and she nods.

We travel with ragwort steeds carrying the carriage. It does not take long to arrive at the Alderking's court. My coachman leaves Jude and I by the brugh’s entrance, and I take Jude’s arm in mine. They have more humans participating than we do in Elfhame, and they don’t seem to be torturing any. Eyes start turning to me, even if we do not know each other, they can see my golden circlet and guess the rest of it. A girl in knight’s garment stops in front of us, evaluating us.

“We heard rumors that the youngest Greenbriar was favoring a human, but we still didn’t believe it”, she tells us with a smirk. Then curtsies, making me feel more comfortable.

“She doesn’t look much older than us, Hazel!”, a changeling talks to the knight.

“Let's not start interrogating them, Jack”, Hazel returns. “At least, not yet”, she gives Jude a mischievous smile, which Jude returns with a cunning smirk. “Follow me, I shall guide you to the Alderking”

The crowd part as we follow Hazel to the dais. I don’t know if I can call Severin a ‘boy’, since he is older than me, although he looks younger. Jude gives him a polite curtsy, and Severin quirks a brow. The human boy standing by his side has a kind smile, and I look from him to Hazel. They both have red hair, and a few resemblances. Are they brother and sister?

“Twins”, the boy tell me, as if I had asked aloud. “But not identical. I am Ben Evans and the Knight is Hazel Evans, we are from Fairfold”

“And who is this lovely girl?” Severin asks.

“Jude Duarte”, she simply answers.

“I was first interested in your wine, Prince Cardan, but I must admit that what made me invite you here, was my curiosity about this peculiar consort”, Severin rises from his throne and steps closer. “Is she under a glamour?”

“No”, I narrow my eyes to him. Is he defying me? I thought of the possibility of being invited to amuse the Alderking, but I was hoping Severin would be more interesting, given his history. “I do not find it exciting to have a partner that does not truly desire to be with me”

“Perfect!” Severin smiles satisfied. “Ben told me that I should try to befriend princes and kings, since I am the Alderking and do not possess a good reputation”, his honesty brings me relief, and I can breathe again. “Oh, I must say that I enjoyed the bottles of wine that you sent us, and tonight we are reveling with a few of those. I hope the revel is to your liking, my prince”

Severin takes us to a table, where we eat and talk. Ben is the first to throw question after question to Jude, excited about a human favored in Elfhame, but when Jude gives him answers about how she trained with Madoc and I, it is Hazel’s turn to interrogate Jude. Severin almost does not talk about politics with me, telling me even some of Ben's stories from when Severin was still imprisoned in the human realm. We all dance together, and I get a few dances alone with Jude.

“You look happy”, she tells me as we waltz.

“I am”, and I kiss her. “Should we leave?” I trail my nose on her neck, inhaling her scent. “I want to fuck you in this dress”

Jude gasps, and I meet her eyes, melting for me. She recovers her senses with flushing cheeks, and a wrinkled nose.

“How _vulgar_!”, she teases me.

I give her a smile full of teeth, and Jude laughs. We say our goodbyes to the Alderking, and find our way to the carriage. As soon as the coachman closes the door, I pull Jude over my lap, covering her in kisses. Passionate kisses inside a flying chariot is a first for me. Every time the carriage dives in the night sky, it makes my belly freeze. And each turn the carriage rises, it increases Jude’s pressure on my lap, heating me up. I am holding Jude’s waist with her back against my chest, her hair over her shoulder, exposing the nape of her neck.

“What did you think of tonight?”, I ask against her skin.

“They were fun to talk to”, Jude tilts her ass, making me grunt. “I was interested in the sword Heartsworn, it was beautiful!”

“Oh, you were so cute having fun talking to Hazel about combat techniques”, I nip her ear. “Maybe you can be friends”, Jude gives me a soft chuckle. “I have been wondering: are you wearing your hideous undergarments?”

Jude takes my hand from her waist, guiding it through the slit of her dress, letting my fingertips draw a line against her thigh up to her femininity. I bite my lower lip, aroused by her. Jude lets go of my hand to grip my hair, arching her back, as I slide my finger over her slippery curls.

“Were you anticipating it?”, I ask on her neck, brushing my lips over her skin. “Were you desiring me this whole night, as I have desired you?”

Jude gasps, and grinds over my cock. What a temptation she is!

“I was in lust the moment you devoured me with your eyes in the living room”, Jude whispers.

We reach the ground and we stumble to our sides, laughing at each other. I had previously told the coachman to drive us to Hollow Hall, predicting how I would want to end our night. Jude runs through the gardens to the front door, and I run after her, taking her by her waist, pinning her to the wall. I crash my mouth on hers, yearning for more of Jude. My heart beating violently, glad for this moment. Jude’s hands invade my shirt, scraping my back, and I love it. I love her. I nudge my nose on hers.

Our eyes meet and I feel loved back. We kiss again, softly. One of my hands cup the back of her head, while the other caresses her neck. Jude’s breath hitches, and I feel her fingertips softly running down from my chest to my stomach, making me shudder. I step back and smile at the naked desire on her face. We lace our fingers, getting inside Hollow Hall, and going straight to my room. Jude doesn’t wait for me to close the door to take my cloak off of me, and as I lock the door, she throws the cloak over the chair by my desk, and hugs me from behind. Her palms pressing my chest, caressing me over the fabric. Jude reaches for my cock over my trousers, torturing me. 

“Undress me”, I command with a hoarse voice.

Jude obeys. She plants her fingers into my skin wherever she touches me, aggressively peeling off my clothes. Jude throws my shirt over my head, standing in front of me and kneels, kneading my thighs, then takes off my boots. She bites the waistband of my trouser, pulling it down like a beast, making me want to be a beast myself. Jude faces my member, taking it in one hand pressing her tongue on its head. I gasp, feeling the heat running in my body, growing inside her mouth. She squeezes my ass, then pulls my body, swallowing all my length, and I am hers. I want this woman for my life, even if I know Jude is mortal. Jude spits on the tip of my cock, then sucks on it.

“ _Jude_ ”, I moan, and she glances at me with a smile, my cock still in her mouth. This sight enchants me. “Come here!”

She gets up and I kiss her mouth, leaning forward, making her sit on my desk. I wrap her thighs on either side of my waist, and kiss her neck, entering her. We groan together, too enamored, too sensitive, yearning for more. I brush my lips over her ear, and whisper “Tell me how you like it”.

“Deep”, Jude grazes her cheek on my hair. “I like to feel you deep”

I press further into her, and Jude embraces me tight. I feel her melting over my member, pulsing, and it increases my heat, but I keep a slow pace. Deep, and back. I kiss her neck. Pumping, deep, and back. Again, and again. Jude is whining in my ear, her body shuddering.

I move my hips with more strength, and Jude cries out in pleasure. Her sweet voice sends goose fleshes over my body, leaving me feverish in adrenaline, and I keep the pace. Jude moves her hips, and I bite her nipple over the fabric of her dress. My name in her voice makes my body weak, the beast taking over me. I stop our dance, turning Jude and I make her bend over the desk, using my leg to separate hers. Jude pulls her skirt up, and I like what I see: her firm ass with smooth skin. I cannot resist the impulse, slapping a cheek. Jude chuckles, and glances at me. I don’t know if she is daring me to slap her again, of if she is simply asking for more. Putting a foot over the chair, I find my way back to Jude’s heat, a hand on her shoulder.

Jude arches her back, lifting a knee over the desk. My eyes are seduced, fascinated by her shape. I slap her buttocks again, and Jude moans my name as a swear. She rolls her hips, making me feel my blood burning through my veins, and I thrust into her harder, gripping her ass.

“Slap me again, my prince!”, Jude grunts.

She glances at me over her shoulder, and I almost lose it. My body is in a frenzy, and I slap Jude’s ass again. I bend over her, biting her shoulder. Jude starts trembling, surrendering to orgasm. It takes control over me, my hands tighten on her waist and I roll my eyes shuddering with my lover, calling her name out just to savor it. It ends, and we are panting. Slowly, I take my member out of her, turning Jude to face me. She is drunk with me, a silly smile playing in the corner of her mouth. I take her palm to kiss, and make it cup my cheek.

“You make my foolish heart so happy”, I tell her. “I wonder if I am still dreaming”

“You are not so creative in your dreams to get me the way you just did”, Jude’s smile shies.

“Do you think I have never dreamed of giving you a few slaps?” I lock her bottom lip between my teeth, pulling it. Then I sweep it with my tongue. “Oh sweet Jude, are you underestimating my feelings and creativity?”, she laughs. “But I must admit, I could not fantasize the intensity of anything that I felt”

“Good”, Jude kisses me. "The real me is still better than the one you have imagined".

"Never doubt that", I return her kiss.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter beta-read by the awesome Aida <3

[Jude’s POV]

After a long hunt for a spy from a lower Court, we from the Court of Shadows gave ourselves a night of rest, playing cards and drinking. The Roach even brought me human drinks, not that it does not get me drunk, but at least I get to join the fun. I thought it would be easy to win, since they cannot lie, but they all know how to trick me.

“Let’s not bet money now, let’s bet information”, the Ghost suggests with a mischievous smile. He winks at me, making me laugh.

“I am not sure I want to play like this”, the Bomb answers, stealing a glance at the Roach.

“Are we not friends?”, the Ghost insists.

“What is it that you want to know?”, I ask with a quirked brow.

“No, that is not how it goes”, Ghost shakes his head enthusiastically. How much wine did he drink? “You all have to agree first, the winner gets to ask for information, and the losers have to find a way to tell the information”

“Lets try four turns, this way we each get a chance”, the Roach leans over the table to take the deck.

All agreed, and I am the first winner. I laugh.

“I don’t know what to ask... Do any of you have an information that might interest me?”

They avoid my eyes. Oh, they all have. What could it be? The Roach stretches his back, the Ghost takes a sip on his wine, and the Bomb doesn’t find an evasive gesture right away.

“Tell me, Bomb”, I demand in a steady voice.

“Balekin is not the only Greenbriar upset about your relationship with Cardan”, she blurts out.

I feel offended, and not because of me, but because another one from Cardan’s family thinks to know what is best for him, all the while neglecting him.

“It is not like it is a big surprise, though”, the Ghost pours more wine for everyone. “You are human, you can get pregnant easier than any fae. What if you bear an heir? They will definitely kill you”

I don’t know if I feel angry at the threat, or embarrassed for people thinking about my sex life.

“I know means to prevent pregnancy, if you must know”, I tell them, and drink the wine.

The Bomb is the second winner. She asks the Ghost if she was right about a question that she had asked earlier.

“What question?” I am curious.

“You didn’t win”, Roach cuts me off.

Th Ghost sighs. “Yes, you were”

The Bomb seems surprised, and I am even more curious about it. The alcohol is making me sleepy, and the Roach wins the last two rows, asking in riddles to the Ghost, and I don’t understand either of them. I have trouble getting home this drunk, stumbling through the stairs until I reach my room. It is not like I do not wish to have a family someday, sometime in the distant, distant future. There are so many things I want to do, so many adventures I want to have; to enjoy a life of my own. Thinking about it brings me nightmares of a Cardan kicking me away with a crying child in my arms. At least it was a beautiful child, with his pointy ears and silky dark hair.

\--

“I can’t believe that Madoc allowed you to live with Heather in the human realm”, I tell Vivi, sitting over a suitcase, as she pulls the zipper to close it. “I can’t believe you are leaving!”

“I can’t believe that you accepted having a girl’s night that includes Taryn without complaint!”, Vivi grunts as she finishes zippering the bag, and falls back sitting on the floor. Our eyes meet, and she gives me a cheeky smile. “Madoc cried”

“What? You never told me!”, I feel amazed.

“He told me he did love mom, and he was hurt when he discovered that she did not love him back... Then Madoc told me that he was glad that Heather loved me back. Still, he does not agree that I have not told her about me being a faerie”

“I agree with him on that”, I give her a censor look.

Vivi scoffs.

“I told you that I am going to tell her, and as you have advised me to not shock her, nor scare Heather, I am going to do it bit by bit!”

A knock on the door sounds, and Vivi rises to open it. Oak enters the room and looks at her, with watering eyes, and Vivi pulls him into a tight hug. I approach them to take part on the embrace.

“It is not like Vivi will never visit, Oak”, I tell him. “She is still our sister, and we can visit her as well”

Oak sniffles, and I feel it too. Happy that Vivi is going to live with the one she loves, to build their home together as a family, but missing her already.

“Taryn is here”, he tells us, stopping his sobs. “I think she hesitated because of Jude”

Since I got out of Hollow Hall’s dungeons, I didn’t mistreat Taryn again. Although I couldn’t bring myself to speak to her, I did not wish to keep hating her. Now our relationship is just awkward. We say our goodbyes, Oriana gives a surprising tender hug to Vivi. With ragworts steeds, Vivi, Taryn and I leave for the human realm, to Vivi’s new home. Heather opens the apartment’s door with a great smile, and hugs us all.

“Come in, come in!” She says, pushing us inside.

It is a small complex, but it is cozy. The small table has four different styles of chairs surrounding it, in front of a wall painted as a blackboard. It already has doodles over it. We take Vivi’s bags to their room, and there is another room with a desk, a chair, and a shelf full of comic books. I love this place already.

“So, pizzas?” Vivi asks us.

We all agree. Heather tells us about her new contract with a magazine, where she is going to publish a chapter of a comic each month, while Vivi found a job as a secretary for a friend. I give my sister another censorious look, since her real job is about assisting someone, but it is a faerie. Vivi shows me her tongue, and I roll my eyes. Heather asks about me and Taryn, what we have been doing, and it is hard to lie to her, since she is so nice. Vivi helps us tell truths, like telling Heather that I am good at fighting, similar to martial arts, and that I am taking lessons on that.

The pizzas arrive, and we drink alcoholics drinks that Heather and Vivi prepare with vodka and juice. It is fun to be with them, to tell jokes and laugh together. Then Heather asks us about our love lives, and Taryn’s smile turns into a forced one. At first I think it is because of me, but when Taryn speaks, it is not about me.

“I love Locke, but sometimes he thinks he can control me...”, she looks at her drink as she talks. A fond smile crosses her face. “I like to play with him, we do some daring things together, and we have fun. But then he tells me over and over that the way he loves me is different from the way I love him” her smile vanishes again.

“You know you are beautiful, and smart, and an amusing person, right?” Vivi asks Taryn.

Taryn’s cheeks flush, and she smiles at Vivi.

“If he keeps making you feel down, you should break up with him”, Heather says. “You can find someone that truly appreciates you!”

“Thanks” Taryn smiles timidly, then turns to me. “But Jude is living the dream, right?”

“Yes”, I feel my smile widen, “I am in love, and I feel loved back”

“Wow, look at her face!” Vivi points out to me, “you are in deep trouble, Jude!”

We laugh together.

\--

It has been so long since I saw the human world in daylight. I wake up around midday to the smell of coffee. I cross the living room where Vivi is sitting on the couch with her mug, and I go outside, just to watch them, other humans living their lives. Vivi comes outside and starts walking with me.

“Tonight is my first shift. I start at six o’clock”, Vivi tells me. “Although my employer is afraid to open business, since there is a murderer on the loose”

“What?”

“Yes, can you believe it? A cannibal fae!” Vivi stops walking, looking at me with a blend of awe and denial. “Tell me you’re not interested, are you? Jude, just because you are curious, it does not mean that you have to jump in a fight just for the thrill! Oh, I should’ve kept my mouth shut!”

We get back to the apartment, to find Heather working and Taryn sleeping on the couch with the TV on. Later, I walk with Vivi to her new job, even if she is angry with me that I convinced her to let me tag along, because I wanted to hear more of this cannibal. Jude’s boss is a woman with moth wings, and curly brown hair. The woman is pleased to tell me all about this cannibal – a banished redcap. She tells me that there is a reward for whomever defeats the cannibal, and my interest in this case grows. Perhaps I could spy on this redcap and collect information, and if I see that I could beat them, then maybe I could keep the reward for myself. Before Vivi tries to scold me, I remind her that she has a job, and I say my goodbye.

“I will meet you back at the apartment!”

I can still feel her glare as I walk away, and turn the corner.

\--

It just so happens that the redcap is a general in exile, Grima Mog. And it happens that I should have listened to my sister, and should have not come after the so called cannibal, since I found Grima Mog attacking a man with deer legs, in a closed park surrounded by woods. They both had swords, but the man was terribly weak. I jump into the fight before I realize what I am doing.

“Let him go!”, I snarl at her.

“Alas, he was the one who came after my head first. I am just taking advantage of it, girl!”

I take a glimpse at the man, looking tired and injured.

“Go!” I tell him.

He growls at me, but flinches in pain, then finally leaves.

“Are you after my head as well, girl?”, Gimma Mog asks me.

Assessing her, I take a few steps as if I were to circle her. She has a sword, and I have a dagger on my calf, underneath my jeans. Could I beat her? I feel the thrill down my spine. I cannot lie to myself – I love fighting. It is part of who I am.

“Lets make a bargain”, I tell her. “If I beat you, you shall not eat human or fae meat again”

Her eyes sparkle with excitement.

“Fine, I won’t eat human or fae around here. If I win, then you shall be my dinner!”

I put all of my training at use, strategies and blows. She underestimated me for being human, and I take advantage of that, surprising her with my strength and speed. Even so, she was a general once. A redcap like Madoc. Her sword draws fine cuts on my arms and thighs, her fists hit me hard enough to make me dizzy. But I keep surprising her with the Ghost’s tricks and my human body, and her sword flies from her hand, then my dagger kisses the skin of her neck as I stand in front of her. We stare at each other, panting. Then she laughs and I step back.

“Who are you?” she asks me.

“Jude Duarte”, I tell her.

Grima Mog’s eyes glitter with malice, and I take an involuntary step back.

“I know your name, child. The favored girl of the youngest Greenbriar.” She laughs with mockery, “you are a tough one! I enjoyed this”

“You are a tough one yourself”, I give her a cheeky smile, and Grima Mogs laughs again, more openly. “I hope you keep your promise”

“You know that it is not something I can break”, she shrugs.

With that, I leave her behind, and go back to the apartment, scaring Heather with my wounds, and later on receiving a great scold from Vivi.

The doorbell rings, and Heather answers the door. All of our eyes widen. Cardan enters the living room, carrying a green pixie in his arms. They both are covered in injuries and behind them comes The Roach. I have no idea where to begin questioning.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter beta-read by the awesome Aida <3

[Cardan’s POV]

At one of my revels, at Hollow Hall, I overhear something interesting from one of the courtiers. It was about someone threatening the Lord of the Unseelie Court, Roiben. I had seen him before, he was a man of few words, but he was a fine man overall, and my father did not like him very much, which made me find Roiben interesting. Out of curiosity, I kept digging for information regarding this threat, and suddenly I found myself involved already, exchanging letters with Roiben. He told me that Elfhame was not in danger, that I did not need to help him with anything. I let it pass, and kept writing him about other matters, one of them was to sell wine.

Last night I had dinner at the palace, boring as usual, but I overheard my father talking to his guest about the success of an enemy capturing the Lord of the Unseelie Court’s consort, and threaten Lord Roiben’s throne. I left a note for The Roach, and he met me near Hollow Hall, by the forest.

“Jude is having a night out with her sisters and you have the brilliant idea to go to the human realm, and save Lord Roiben’s consort?” he was exasperated. “Better yet, you want _me_ involved in this! Are you out of your mind?”

“It is a good chance to test my fighting skills”, I argued. “And I don’t wish to always depend on Jude...”

The Roach complained a lot, and tried an incredible amount of arguments to get the idea out of my mind, but he could not do it. I heard the location from my father’s conversation, but I didn’t know the human realm, so The Roach had to guide me. I was wearing dark clothes, as simple as I could find, thinking of Jude’s spy clothes. There were no rings or circlet, not even kohl under my eyes. I had two daggers, and The Roach made me promise him that I would flee if things got too dangerous.

It was a mess. We found Kaye in tatters, already hurt. There were two men and two women in the house, none human. I didn’t know any of them, and by the look in their eyes, they did not recognize me either. So we fought. Putting all of my battle skills to use; what I learned from Madoc, Jude and The Roach, and even from Balekin. Dodging, kicking, throwing punches. I knocked out one woman, and managed to cut the back of the knee of one man, so he wouldn’t run after us. As The Roach kept fighting, I released Kaye from the chains, burning the tip of my fingers on the iron.

I took Kaye into my arms, and was ready to flee, when the man that I had hurt lunged at me with his knife, tearing my pockets as I dodged. All of my ragwort flew to the ground, and we suddenly heard noise – someone else was coming from the other entrance of the house. The Roach kicked the man he was fighting with in the face, and we ran away. We kept running, until Roach hailed a taxi, and we got inside even though the iron made us all ill. The Roach glamoured the driver, I told him Vivienne’s new address, that Jude had told me, and while the driver was enchantingly focused on his task, Roach explained to me what a taxi drive was.

Now I am sitting in a chair, drinking tea in Vivienne’s apartment, while Jude listens to my story. The Roach is on the couch, Taryn went to a room, to treat Kaye’s wounds, and Vivienne and Heather are having their own discussion about the existence of the Folk in their bedchamber.

“Oh my goodness, Cardan!”, Jude shakes her head in denial. “What if your father finds out? What if your siblings find out? Cardan, you are not supposed to go out fighting people and helping a Court that your father does not like! And you”, she turns to Roach. “How could you let him? And how do you know each other?”

“This last matter is better for us to discuss alone” I answer her, and nod to the back of the apartment, insinuating that her sisters might listen. Jude nods, but clearly remains angry. “And where did you get these wounds? You were not supposed to be working tonight”

“I had a duel” she tells us, and proudly lifts her chin. “I beat Grima Mog”

“The redcap general?” The Roach asks, his mouth open.

“She is here, in exile, and was eating other faeries”, Jude explains. I catch myself admiring her.

Taryn comes to the living room with Kaye. Jude immediately serves tea for the wounded pixie, that looks scared and confused.

“Twins”, is the first thing she says, looking from Taryn to Jude.

Taryn smiles fondly, and Jude takes a seat by the table.

“I am Prince Cardan Greenbriar, from Elfhame”, I sustain Kaye’s gaze. “Have you heard of me?”

“Yes, you were corresponding with Roiben when he started receiving threats from scum”, she answers.

I frown at the word ‘scum’, but she does not seem to care.

“I found out where they held you captive by coincidence, and by my own selfishness, I went after you”, I tell Kaye. It is not like I want something in return, it was really a selfish attempt of my part. Everything could have gone wrong, and instead of saving Kaye, I could have made things worse.

“You could have died, Cardan! They could have caught you!” Jude hides her face between her palms, her chest heaving in angst.

I like it when Jude worries about me, but I don’t like that right now it seems that her worry may hurt her. I hold out my hand over the table, and use my thumb to caress her arm.

“I am here now, Jude” I tell her.

I wanted to impress her, not to make Jude stressed.

“I can take Kaye back to Lord Roiben”, The Roach tells us. I turn to look at him, while still soothing Jude, and nod in agreement. “Since you are with Jude, I am sure you can return to Elfhame safely”.

As he rises, Kaye gives her mug of tea to Taryn, and rises as well.

“Lord Roiben will appreciate your gesture, Prince Cardan”, she tells me.

Taryn leads them out of the apartment, and I turn to Jude. She looks at me, tired, and sighs.

“Madoc would be proud that you fought and survived”, Jude finally smiles at me, lighting up my heart.

Taryn returns to the living room, and the three of us look awkwardly at each other as we listen to Heather and Vivienne’s fight.

“Let's leave them?” Jude suggests. Taryn and I nod.

They take their bags, and Jude leaves a note over the table. We leave the house and walk around the neighborhood, until we reach the woods.

“I fought Grima Mog around here”, Jude tells us. She turns to me, pulling more of my hood, as if she could hide me better like this. I take her hand and lace our fingers together.

“There!” Taryn points out. Ragworts. Now we can go back to Elfhame.

We leave Taryn at Locke’s estate, and I take Jude to Hollow Hall with me. We bathe together, and I lend her a clean robe. I sit on my bed, with my back leaning against the headboard, and Jude resting between my legs, her head against my shoulder and my arms holding her in an embrace. Jude might have been worried, but the thrill that I have felt was something as excited as when I used to torment her, and the strangeness of it all, of helping someone instead of hurting to be cruel, it is making funny things to my heart.

“So where did you meet the Roach?”, she asks me.

“The same night when I discovered you were a spy. I saved him that night as well”, I tell her, stroking her arm. “I made him promise not to tell you”

She keeps silent.

“Are you mad at me?”, I ask.

“No”, Jude gives me a soft kiss on my jaw, and leans back on my shoulder. “Not about keeping Roach a secret. But you know that I am still upset about you risking your life... You could have sent someone else to save the girl, you could give orders” she sighs again. “But I think I understand you”

“How so?”, I am intrigued.

“I suppose you wanted to test your training, and have an adventure of your own”

She saw right through me. It makes me chuckle. I think about all our secrets, the ones that are understandable to keep, but there is one that I remember being curious about for quite some time now.

“Jude”, I lift her chin so she looks at me. “You know that I am not the one to go after fighting and danger like tonight, you know that I’d rather revel drinking wine, and feasting on lust... How come you never asked me about my scars?” Her pupils dilate, and I narrow my eyes. She knows something. “Please, don’t lie to me”

Jude inhales, disconcerted.

“Because I know how you got them”

“How do you know of it, Jude?” I feel shame, anger, and as if Jude just punched me hard. My head is dizzy. “For how long have you known it?”

“I knew it from before we became friends” I feel her shrinking. “Cardan... I... I didn’t want to bring up the matter, because I thought it would upset you. It actually upsets me”, she cups my cheek. I don’t know what face I am showing her. “I hate him for doing this to you! And I imagine that the last ones that you got was from when Balekin saw you kissing me at Madoc’s Stronghold. I am so sorry that you have been through this, I-“

I grab her wrist, but not a tight grip, and I glare at her brown eyes. Wide, and pitying me. She knits her brows together, and I meet my reflection inside her eyes. A monster, not a lover. I avert my eyes.

“I don’t want your pity, Jude”

“And I don’t want the love of my life hurt”

It takes me aback, and I turn to her. Jude is serious, trying to reassure me with her gaze.

Old voices haunt me.

_“A cruel child that does not deserve love.” – my mother._

_“I don’t want you here!” – my father._

_“Go play elsewhere, Cardan. You are a brat” – Caellia._

_“You are a nuisance!” – Elowyn._

_“A waste of time!” – Dain._

_“A failure of a person!” – Balekin._

_“You are lazy, Cardan!” – Rhya._

_“You ruin things!” – Nicasia._

Perhaps it is because of the adrenaline of my night fading away, or how Jude declares her love for me while I was ashamed of being who I am, ashamed of ever thinking that some times I thought that I deserved Balekin’s punishment. Something warm rolls down my cheeks, my eyes are blurry, my throat hurts. I feel Jude’s mouth on mine, soft, and I turn my head to bury my face on her shoulder. Hugging her tight, crying. Jude holds me, soothing my back.

“I love you, Cardan”, her soft voice keeps telling me. “I am here for you”


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter beta-read by the awesome Aida <3

[Jude’s POV]

I didn’t know that Cardan could get so emotional, so defenseless in my arms. He must have been suffering for a long time, all by himself, and it makes me happy to see that somehow I am helping him not feel so much pain. At least Cardan is not alone anymore. A couple of days have passed, and we received an invitation from Lord Roiben to one of his revels. He wishes to talk to Cardan in person, and find a way to thank him for saving Kaye. Cardan accepts his invitation, and once more we travel to a different Court to meet someone dangerous.

Lord Roiben looks older than Cardan, and is a quiet man. Kaye does almost all of the talking for the night. She is spontaneous, and easygoing. It is intriguing to hear about how she lived a life as a mortal completely unaware that she was a faerie herself. I cannot help but feel a sting of envy, to imagine how wonderful it would be, to miraculously be a faerie instead of human, and belong with them. Cardan laces our fingers together, as if he saw through me and is trying to reassure me that he likes me the way I am. It works, my heart lightens with his touch.

\--

By the end of lessons tonight, Taryn approaches me by herself, and walks back to Madoc’s with me.

“So Vivi and Heather are still fighting, but are still together”, she says.

“Yes, Vivi wrote me an angry note, stating that she is mad that Cardan showed up out of the blue with a goblin and an almost dead pixie”, I shrug and Taryn chuckles.

“She wrote me that they had great angry sex, which was one of the reasons they are still together”

“I could have kept on living without knowing that, thank you very much!”

After our laughter dies, we keep walking and the awkward silence comes back. Until Taryn stops, and I turn to see why she has stopped. She is blushing, shoulders tensed.

“What is it?”, I quirk a brow.

“Jude, I... I am sorry”

I roll my eyes. It is bad enough to try to talk to her again, I don’t want to keep bringing up the reason why I was upset with Taryn to begin with.

“No, listen!” She holds out a hand to try and reach my arm, but thinks better, letting her hand fall back to her side. “I was awful, I know that. And I felt good when Locke told me that he liked that I was enduring all those things for him. I wanted to belong, and he made me feel like I did... I am sorry that I hurt you, I shouldn’t have accepted that deal with him. Can you... Can we try to be friends again?”

Anger and pain brings a sour taste to my mouth. However, I don’t want to keep feeling like this, I don’t want to end up in another dungeon without forgiving Taryn, or at least trying to understand her. I sigh.

“I want to be your friend”, I tell her, and her eyes widen with relief and hope. “But we will have to learn how to do it. We will have to be patient”

“Can we be patient after I tell you one more thing?” Taryn bites her bottom lip, anxious.

I fear what she wants to say already.

“Say it”

“Locke proposed for us to marry next month. We will have a celebration at Locke’s estate, and I really want you to be there with me”

I still can’t see why Taryn loves Locke. A manipulative boy, that revels in other people’s suffering. Does she think that she can’t find anyone better? Does Taryn think that she deserves a painful love like this one?

“Yes, I can do that for you. I really hope that you are happy with him, Taryn”

She gives me a tender smile.

\--

Even if I had told Taryn to have patience to build back our friendship, it is as if I had not mentioned it at all. She keeps coming to Madoc’s estate, spending hours talking about her wedding arrangements. How the ceremony shall be held in the maze, how the musicians will be placed at the center, how the tables shall be arranged and the tricks that Locke and Taryn were planning for the guests. We visit Vivi and Heather by the middle of the month, and have a sleep over. Vivi makes me promise that I will not go looking for a fight as I did with Grima Mog, so as not to scare Heather again. It is not like I am _always_ looking for a good fight.

Heather drowns us with questions about the Folk and how we truly live. She is accepting the answers without panicking, which I take as a good sign. Vivi is excited because Heather accepted Taryn’s wedding invitation. And once the matter is brought up, all that Taryn talks about is about her wedding.

“Since you told us that you like sex games with your... fiance”, Heather tries, unsure of the term “Why don’t you surprise him with a sex toy?”

“What do you mean?” Taryn is intrigued. I am curious as well.

Heather blushes, and Vivienne chuckles.

“It is a device that is made for pleasure”, Heather’s face is crimson, and she is avoiding looking at Vivi. “there are tons of different kinds, that stimulate different places. You can have those that vibrate, there are substances like massage oils and lubricants that are edible and flavored...”

“Oh, I am going to fetch a few so they can understand it better!” Vivi leaves us to retreat to their room, and returns with a wooden box.

We are all sitting on the floor in the living room, and when she opens the box, I feel my face burn with embarrassment. There are toys with specifics shapes that I cannot keep looking at. Vivi takes a tube, and reaches for my hand. With caution, I let her. Vivi rubs a bit of this lotion on the back of my hand, and I feel the place getting warmer.

“It is good because it provokes a stimulating warm sensation, and because your partner can lick it off of your body” Vivi nods her head so I can lick it, while she rubs the cream on Taryn’s hand so she does the same.

It tastes like strawberry. It gives me an idea, and I avoid meeting their eyes because I don’t know what expression I am making. They show us how the one that vibrates works with a battery, so it could work in Elfhame for a couple of hours. Taryn’s eyes are fascinated by everything, but she confesses that if she wants to impress Locke, it would not be wise to keep using human accessories. Vivi shrugs and puts her box away, changing the subject to how Heather’s first publication was a success. 

\--

I have been caught up with task after task as a spy. Prince Dain has become anxious, and we suspect that King Eldred is going to announce his abdication soon.

“Soon, as in a couple of months, I think”, Liliver tells me while we drink in the Court of Shadows chamber.

My feet hurt. I had spend the last two days and nights pretending to be a servant in a lower court to investigate their allies. I only came back to attend lessons. Now they are my only scarce moments with Cardan, and we don’t have much time to kiss each other.

“You will have your night off”, The Roach throws himself onto the couch, holding a bottle of wine and drinks from it. “Tomorrow your twin will marry, and you will be there, so perhaps you can escape to take a nap somewhere”

The Ghost is in a terrible mood. Drinking quietly, he is already on his third bottle of wine, sitting on the floor with his back against the wall.

“If Jude finds free time, she is going to be busy with Cardan”, he sneers.

I cannot argue that.

“As much as I enjoy drinking with you”, I rise, “I need to sleep. You should sleep as well, try to be in a better mood”, I smile at the Ghost, and he scoffs.

\--

Taryn is beautiful in her glittering wedding gown, and she is already using the earrings that I gave her as a gift. I bought them from the exiled blacksmith Grimsen, that I met on one of my tasks as a spy. I can see Taryn is genuinely happy, a smile as wide as her face allows it to be. Locke seems happy as well, holding Taryn’s waist whenever he has a chance to do so. I am in a corner, watching the guests from afar, with no one paying any mind to me, while I drink wine from an acorn cup.

A cool breeze brings me a familiar fragrance, of a forest and sweet apples. Cardan stops by my side, with his own acorn cup filled with wine.

“Jude dear, have you not tortured me enough? Letting me live through a whole month barely receiving a kiss from you, and now you wear this alluring dress... Do you wish for me to lose my mind in public?”

I turn to smile at him, but I also missed him this past month, and his sight leaves me astounded. Cardan has silver powder over his cheek bones, matching the circlet of silver vines. How long would it take to have his powder smeared on me? His grey spider-silk shirt has a neckline that exposes his collarbone, and almost his shoulders. I swallow at the urge to trail my tongue over his skin. Cardan has not done anything, and I am already breathing unevenly. I lower my eyes, to see his hardness impressed on his black breeches, and I meet his gaze while biting my lower lip. I am wearing a silver gown that Oriana had given me, and I am aware of how much my skin is exposed, feeling Cardan’s gaze burn my skin as he feasts on me with his eyes.

“I can clearly see how your body feels about me in this dress”, I take a step closer, enough to feel his warmth without touching him, and whisper “can you imagine how my body is reacting to you, _my prince_?”

Cardan grunts, letting his eyes close slowly. He bends his head, his mouth hovering over my ear.

“Please Jude, elucidate me”, his low voice a croon, sending a wave of heat through my body, and I gasp.

“I want you so bad, Cardan, that I might have an orgasm if I take a seat while fantasizing about you”

“ _Fuck_ ”, he gasps lowly, and I feel the heat pooling in my center. “Come with me. I shall let you return to this celebration in half a hour. Or less... I am feeling so sensitive under your touch Jude, that I might not last at all!”, he chuckles nervously.

Cardan takes my hand and leads me out of the maze. We leave our empty cups on a tray a servant is carrying, and walk towards his carriage. The coachman approaches, but Cardan shakes his head, and the man understands quickly, leaving us. We enter his carriage, and Cardan kisses me, deeply. I missed him. I missed his taste and his soft lips. We are desperate for each other, two hungry beasts. His hands stroke my whole body, gripping, grazing. I kiss his neck and all that the neckline of his shirt allows me. Cardan makes me sit over the cushioned leather seat, and lifts both my legs, taking the skirt of the dress out of the way. He grunts at my sight, then buries his face between my legs.

My eyes roll back, and I am pretty sure that if anyone passes near the chariot, they will certainly hear me. Cardan swears, then let his tongue sweep my clit, circling it, sliding thoroughly my slit. I am lost already, shuddering in orgasm, gripping his hair to press more of him against my feverish heat. He does not stop. Cardan licks my folds and past them, then circles his tongue stimulating me more. I want him!

“Please Cardan!”, I try to talk lowly, and it comes out as a whining. “ _please!”_

He lowers his trousers to finally give me what I want. We moan together. Cardan bends over me to kiss my mouth while he thrusts.

“ _Jude_!”, he murmurs against my mouth, over and over. “My sweet nightmare!”

There is no telling how I grew addicted to his body, the effects of his scent filling my lungs, the the sureness of his touches, it all overwhelms me. I feel him pumping in and out, deliciously. It doesn’t take long for me to reach my peak again, and I feel him trembling with me, pulsing inside, melting. We laugh at each other, fools in love. We return to the maze, and I don’t care that I have silver powder all over me. I am happy to be with him, my family is happy, I can tolerate Locke for my sister’s sake. The world seems right, and I drink and dance the night away with Cardan and with my family.

By the end of the festivities, Cardan takes me to Madoc’s estate in his chariot, and I invite him in. We all sit in the living room, tired from the party. Even Oak is quiet, sitting on the couch with his legs over Cardan’s.

“In two full moons time, the High King Eldred shall abdicate from his throne”, Madoc tell us, and stops his gaze on Cardan. “The coronation will be followed by a revel, and we must attend it. Now, we all know that Prince Dain is King Eldred’s favored, but there are those against the throne that might try to sabotage the coronation, and even Cardan has to be more cautious”

“Yes, Balekin told me the same speech”, Cardan takes my hand in his, and start rubbing his thumb on the back of my hand distractedly. “That is why I had knights with me, following from afar and accompanying the carriage to your home”

I recall the four knights that were guarding Cardan tonight, and recognized Brokk, one of the knights that doesn't avert his eyes when I take part in Cardan's parties, and I enjoy talking with him. He was bald, dark skin and grey eyes, and was as charismatic as he was a good fighter. I was glad to see that Cardan chose a nice knight to follow him. 

“I saw it”, Vivi says in amazement. “And from what Rhya has told me, they are your own knights, not Balekin’s”.

“Good, you are being responsible”, Madoc says, and I can feel Cardan straighten up beside me, proud of himself.

“Since you are favoring Jude now, perhaps Jude could grow more responsible as well”, Oriana says. “Someone might use her to threaten you, Prince Cardan”

“Let them try”, I give her a wry smirk, and Madoc barks a laugh.

“So what did you think Heather?”, Madoc asks her, narrowing his eyes. “Scary place?”

“I had fun”, she answers hesitantly, “but I also heard disturbing stories and received a few scary looks”

“Like the one he is trying to give you?”, Cardan asks, smiling at her.

It is hard to believe how at ease Cardan seems to be. It is like he knows he conquered Madoc’s stone heart, and is not afraid of him, as he were the first time he came here. Heather shrugs.

“It is alright, Heather”, I tell her. “I know what you mean, and you are right to fear the Fae, this way your instincts shall keep you alive. But also, don’t worry too much, if you are with one of us, you are safe enough”, I give her a sympathetic smile, and she smiles back.

“I wouldn’t agree with that...” Cardan grins at me. “Jude may be dangerous, you see”

“What about Vivi when father tries to forbid her of something?” Oak says, leaning over Cardan, towards Heather, “She turns into a monster!”, and he giggles, covering his mouth with his little hands.

We all laugh, and Vivi rolls her eyes. Madoc rises, and says “I hope you feel welcomed here, Heather, enough to not fear Vivienne. If anything, I hope that learning about her like this makes your love for her grow”.

I feel my mouth open. Madoc clears his throat and leaves to his chambers. Oriana takes Oak, and says “sleep well, children”, then leaves with him. I turn to see Vivi fighting her tears, emotional with Madoc’s unexpected words.

“You can say whatever you want about your father, but I liked him”, Heather says.

But Vivi looks at me, and I understand her, the conflict about liking Madoc as a father, when he was the one who murdered my real parents, and Vivi’s mother. She gets up, angry, and leaves for her room.

“Did I do something?” Heather looks at me with widened eyes, surprised, maybe a little hurt.

“No, Madoc did”, I tell her. “You should go, be with her. And please, have patience when it is about Madoc... It is a delicate matter”

She nods, and leaves. Cardan pulls me to lay my head on his lap, and starts petting my head. He smiles at me, kindly, and I smile back. Even after dancing, laying down with me in the carriage, and feasting at the wedding, Cardan’s messy hair and smudged make up were only another version of his beauty. A wild attractive man. My hand holds his free hand, lacing our fingers together.

“You are happy”, he says. “Am I part of the reason that you are happy?”

“Do you still doubt me?”, I quirk my brow.

“I like to hear it”, Cardan smirks.

“You are my happiness even in the most boring of my days, my love”, I love his smiles, but this one full with teeth and rosy cheeks is my favorite.

He bends to kiss my forehead, then says “You are my happiness at each beating of my heart, Jude. You are my everything”

I could cry out of happiness, but I prefer to kiss him, so I do.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter beta-read by the awesome Aida <3
> 
> I would call it 'the beginning of the end'.

[Jude’s POV]

A couple of months pass by fast, and Prince Dain’s coronation is going to be held tomorrow night. All the Gentry are excited, speculating how Prince Dain is going to turn out as the High King. Our professor finishes lessons earlier, to gossip with a few students sitting by the left side of the room, and I overhear them talking about some Courts that are going to present themselves, to see if they will form alliances with the new High King or among themselves. I feel Valerian’s glare as usually, but he says nothing as Cardan kisses me. Nicasia scoffs and turns to leave, Valerian following her.

“I know you don’t have time between tonight and tomorrow”, Cardan holds my hand as we walk out the room, to the hallways of the palace, “I wanted to give you a gift, but I will leave it by Madoc’s estate later"

“What is it?”

“You see, I have been in love with your body ever since I discovered puberty”, he glances at me with his presumptuous smirk, “so when I heard of the coronation ceremony, I had an idea. I knew you would have to attend because you are the General’s ward, and because of your secret work. Surely you shall wear a fancy gown. Well, your gift is a gown, that I designed myself”

I find no words to describe my happiness. Cardan is giving me a gift, that he made specifically for me.

“You are wonderful!”, I tell him.

Cardan smiles satisfactory. I could crash my mouth on his and roam my hands all over his body, if it were not for his guards following us. At least now he is not _that_ easy of a target. I hope we can find time for us after tomorrow’s revel. We say our goodbyes with a brief kiss, and I watch his chariot leave the palace.

The anxiety about Dain’s coronation is also contaminating me. I wonder how he is going to allow me in his Court publicly, so I won’t depend on Madoc anymore. The palace is buzzing with movement, servants walking fast to prepare for the revel. The corridors are exceptionally clean, the decorations are being taken to the brugh, and food is being brought to the kitchens. I find my way to the Court of Shadows as fast as I can, worried that in this rush to prepare for the revel, someone might spot me and suspect something, as a human girl that should be working with the servants. The Ghost tries to startle me in the darkness, but I felt him approaching me, and we arrive at our usual room laughing.

“Good, we are all here”, The Roach says, rising from the couch. “Dain wants to talk to us”

Liliver winks at me friendly, and we follow Roach to Dain’s secret study. Prince Dain is sitting behind his desk, writing in a scroll. He finishes his writing as we stand in front of his desk in a row, waiting in silence. I wonder if Madoc was right, that Dain is not after wars. Is he going to be a fine King? Dain rests his crimson quill on its recipient, then lifts his head to look at us. Sometimes I am unsure about his actions, and I still cannot discern him as a decent man or if he is heartless. However, after all we have been through to secure him, I feel proud of our work in the shadows.

“You have done well, so far”, Dain tells us. “I believe that Balekin shall try to murder me at the coronation, so you will pay attention to his every move”. He rises, slowly walking to us, stopping in front of the Bomb that is by the opposite end of the row. “If Balekin tries to strike me, you shall kill him without heed”

“Yes, my prince”, she answers with no emotion.

Dain takes a couple of steps to stop in front of the Roach.

“You must keep an eye on Orlagh and Nicasia. If the Undersea tries something risky, you shall punish them, you might as well capture the princess so I decide her punishment later. Queen Orlagh will not try to harm me if I keep her daughter a hostage”

“Yes, my prince”, Roach answers.

Cardan wouldn’t like to see Nicasia being harmed. If The Roach acts on that, I will have to find a way to calm Cardan during the coronation, and later help him free his friend. Even if I don’t like her, I still remember that she helped Cardan to orchestrate the plan to let me out of Locke’s play. Dain is in front of the Ghost now.

“If Balekin succeeds in killing me, do not let him become the next High King. Even dead I shall keep my promise with the Folk.”

“Yes, my prince”, The Ghost answers.

“Are you aware of what I am asking, Ghost?”, Dain quirks a brow. The Ghost nods. “It means that if any of my other siblings tries to put the blood crown over Balekin’s head, you must put them down”

My heart sinks, and I can’t suppress my discontent, but Dain doesn’t turn to me yet, and I try to recover the stability of my breathing.

“Yes, my prince”, The Ghost repeats, with a hoarse voice.

Before I have time to question myself about following Dain, and giving him my oath, I find him in front of me with a cold gaze.

“I let you have your fun with Cardan for quite some time now”, Dain reaches a hand to put a curl of my hair behind my ear, and it sends an unpleasing chill down my spine. “But I have other plans for my young brother” I narrow my eyes, but it is a mistake to do so. To defy Dain is to ask to be tossed aside, and lose my place at Court. I feel his glamour over me. “You shall end your relationship with Cardan, I give you time until the blood crown is placed over my head. Use whatever lie you need to convince Cardan that you don’t love him, that he is not what you thought he was, and if necessary, you can even tell him that you were Balekin’s spy and were just using Cardan to have an excuse to be closer to Balekin, working for him in plain sight. You are my creature, Jude. If I wish for you to bed someone in the High Court, I will tell you. Do you understand?”

“Yes, my prince”, I answer in a whisper, clenching my fists on either side of my body, burying my nails in my palms, to hold me back from trying any more stupidity.

“You are dismissed”

We return to our usual room in silence, and immediately after The Roach closes the corridor’s door, Liliver holds my hand, making me turn to her.

“I knew he was not happy about your relationship with Cardan, but I didn’t think he would do something like this!”

I feel like crying, but I won't cry. There must be something, a way to escape the glamour, a flaw in Dain's words.

“How can I not do it?”, I ask, looking at each one of them. “Should I tie myself until the ceremony is over?” Then I think again, and look at The Ghost. “No, if I do that and Balekin actually kills Dain, Balekin might turn to Cardan. Make him put the blood crown over his head, and you... You will kill him!”

I clench my fists again, ready to start fighting Ghost.

“We can knock out each other down, but then we will not be able to secure Dain’s coronation. What if The Bomb fails to kill Balekin? What if they hold Balekin’s coronation another night, giving me time to recover and run after Cardan anyways?”

“I will not let you have the chance to kill Cardan”, I snarl at him.

“I can find a way to keep Cardan busy so you can keep an eye on The Ghost, Jude, if the coronation goes wrong”, The Roach suggests. “I don’t want to see you broken, girl”

“Are you sure?”, relief brings back my tears, and I hold them in.

“And try to be more positive, Jude”, The Ghost smirks. “We will secure Dain’s coronation”

“Yes. And if something goes wrong and I meet Cardan... Well, Cardan alive and broken is better than Cardan dead”, I shrug. “I appreciate your gesture, Roach. I hope it works. But we know that if all of these plans work, Dain will command me again, and will have the end of my relationship in one way or the other”

Suddenly, I feel my hands tied together, and Liliver makes me sit in a chair.

“Since you know the plan, you will try to find Cardan. Dain gave you until the end of the coronation, so you could do it right away”, she tells me. “We will take turns watching you”

I smile at her, glad that she saw the possibility.

“Can I ask another favor?”, I laugh at their faces of incredulity. “I know, I owe you a lot now. But Cardan gave me a dress to wear tomorrow night. Can one of you bring me the dress? It is at Madoc’s estate”

“Since I might kill him, I will do this one for free”, The Ghost winks at me, and I am not sure if I liked his joke.

\--

I felt the glamour making me itchy, nervous. Then it started making me do things that I had not intended to do, such as punch the Roach and try to escape; my arms forcibly trying to free me to the point of hurting my wrists; using the excuse that I needed a private moment to relieve myself, and running from The Bomb. She helped me clean myself and dress up before the revel.

“Perhaps you should stay here”, The Ghost suggests when Liliver finishes my usual horned braids.

“And let you try to kill Cardan? Certainly not”

The gown is a dream. An ombré ball gown, its color deepening from white near my throat, through palest blue to deep indigo at my feet. Over that is stitched the stark outlines of trees, the way I see them from my window as dusk is falling. The seamstress has even sewn on little crystal beads to represent stars. I feel all of Cardan’s love. I am wearing gloves to hide the bruises of my tied wrists.

“Are you sure you can make it?”, Liliver asks.

“As I said before, I’d rather break Cardan’s heart than let him get killed”, I shrug. “But I am strong enough, I can manage it!”

I lie with confidence that I don’t have. They exchange a look, then shrug at each other. At some point I knew we would go separate ways, but the thrill of trying to find Cardan was more intense than I had expected, reaching the deadline of Dain’s command. It makes me dizzy, as if I were drunk and poisoned. I find my family, and act as if everything was fine. Taryn is not in a good mood, but Locke besides her is smiling just fine. Madoc pulls me aside, taking me to the courtyard to have a moment alone with me.

“You look lovely, Jude”

“Are you getting emotional with me?”, I tease him, and Madoc chuckles.

We stop and turn to each other, then he takes a sword out of his belt, and I admire the vine pattern that etches the blade.

“It is yours by right, from your father, Justin Duarte. He named it Nightfell”, Madoc gives me the sword. He talks about my parents, how my father was a blacksmith and how my mother was as daring as me. “There is little good in me, Jude. But I owe you a debt, and I have sworn to do the best by you that I know how”.

We get back to the brugh, and I show Taryn my new sword, placing it on my waist, then she tells me she gained a set of knives. I find Cardan too fast, too soon, by the entrance of the great hall holding a goblet of wine. My heart aches, he is smiling so happy to see me wearing his gift. I hate myself for being in this situation.

He is wearing a black suit of clothes, with raven feathers covering the upper part of his doublet. The boots finish in excessively pointed metal toes, that brings to mind a fond memory of the first night that I came to him for a dance, desperate to run from Taryn.

The glamour is taking control over me, and Cardan frowns. He is still far. I have to act, to do something, but _I have to end things with Cardan. I must tell him that I don’t love him, that I am Balekin’s spy and tried to approach him to disguise why I would be so_ _frequently at Hollow Hall._ I dig my nails into my palms again. So I use the power of being human, and lie to myself. _If I dance with Locke, it might hurt Cardan, and it will be easier to end things. Yes, I will do as Nicasia did_. This way I can buy more time, this way I can keep Cardan away a while more.

“Locke, won’t you dance with me?”, I ask him.

He narrows his eyes, but within his suspicion, Locke wants to play this game. Taryn lifts a brow to me, and I answer with a cheeky smile. Locke takes my arm in his, and I don’t turn to see Cardan’s face. While dancing with Locke, I look through all the room to find Balekin drinking with courtiers. I don’t know how much time passes, as we waltz.

“I was not expecting your friendship, Jude”, Locke tells me.

“You were right to do so”, I show him a knife hidden in my glove, and before he tries to escape me, I place my hand over his neck, as if it were part of the dance, but I could kill him with the blade. “It is a reminder that if you try any tricks on Taryn, I might make Madoc happy and dispose of you myself”.

“What has she told you? It is Taryn that has lost the joy to be with me, when I warned her that fae don’t love like humans do”, Locke says between gritted teeth.

“She said nothing to me, but now I begin to suspect things. Why don’t you explain it to me?”

He grins.

“Taryn didn’t complain to you about me? That is another unexpected thing. I do find her fascinating”, Locke looks at my sister, then leans closer to me to whisper in my ear. “Perhaps I should use you again, to please her. For instance, I know it would not please Cardan, and that is already a win for me”

A hand over Locke’s shoulder pulls him away from me, and Locke flinches in pain. I had pressed the blade against his skin, enough to cause a superficial cut. He takes his hand to cover the cut, then looks at the faint blood on his palm. With a satisfied smile, Locke licks his hand and turns to Cardan, the one who had pulled Locke away from me.

“Are you so drunk that you are mistaking your wife for my lover _again_?”, Cardan asks Locke, smiling.

Is Cardan drunk? He seems a little off.

“I always knew how to distinguish the twins when we were all together”, Locke shrugs. “Jude would be the one you were looking at”. Locke gives Cardan a light bow, and leaves us.

Suddenly, I am in Cardan’s arms, and I allow myself to rest my head over his shoulder, to breathe his scent and hold him. It might be the last time.

“Why are you avoiding me, my sweet villain?”, Cardan caresses my back. And I cannot answer him. The glamour is too strong to fight, if I talk to him, it will be to hurt Cardan. “I am starting to worry, Jude”. I tighten our embrace, and bite inside my cheek to keep my mouth closed. “So _it is_ that bad”, Cardan kisses my shoulder, and balances our bodies slightly, changing the weight in his legs to sway with the music. The sound seems to be so far, muffled with my thoughts and the dizziness of the glamour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we have it, Dain being cruel as a true Greenbriar. He didn't make Jude prove her loyalty by stabbing her hand, but he is making her feel pain here all the same.
> 
> I hope you guys like it :)


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter beta-read by the awesome Aida <3

[Jude’s POV]

Cardan kisses my shoulder, and balances our bodies slightly, changing the weight in his legs so we sway with the rhythm of the slow music. The sound seems to be so far, muffled with my thoughts and the dizziness of the glamour. Someone stumbles beside us, separating us. The Ghost.

“I am sorry, my prince”, The Ghost performs exaggerated bows, excusing himself.

 _I have to break off my relationship with Cardan, I have to make him believe that I don’t love him_. My heart thunders in my chest. _Finish it now. Jude Duarte, you are Dain’s creature, you MUST FINISH IT NOW!_

With a strand of love, underneath the weight of the glamour in my chest, an impulse makes me turn on my heel and run, pushing people aside and not stopping to apologize. If I stop now, there will be no strength left. I run to the courtyard, gasping. My head could crackle any moment now, with all the fighting that I am going through. I stumble, falling into a shrub and cutting myself on thorns. The pain helps me keep on fighting the glamour, a few Gentry give me a disdain glare, and I bark a hysterical laughter. Why did I think that I could be strong enough to keep Cardan safe? I am _human_ , I would never have a chance to be strong against a prince’s glamour. I need to run from here, I cannot help my shadow friends if anything happens. But Cardan’s life is at stake, if Balekin kills Dain... I mumble around the palace, foot after foot. What to do?

A sudden crash on the back of my head makes everything go darker. I remember Skull’s voice echoing from a distant memory: “Sweet dreams, Jude”.

\--

There is this sound of someone digging near me. The glamour pulses strongly in my head, which means that I was not passed out for long. I turn to look, and see Valerian grunting as he digs what I suppose to be my grave. His eyes meet mine, and he growls.

“You are a shitty mortal, that should remain dead!”, Valerian lifts the shovel, ready to hit me with it again, and I roll, kicking him to make him fall on his back.

I get up to my feet, and he is already up, his hands choking me.

"Cardan will come back to his senses, he will not be bothered by your absence!", Valerian keeps repeating. “He will even thank me for putting you in a grave!”

I search for the pockets that my so smart lover designed in this gown, and find a knife. Without hesitating, I stab Valerian’s chest. He releases me from his grasp, stumbling back, falling into his knees as I cough to recover my breath, seeing his blood in my hands and over my dress.

“I curse you”, Valerian whispers. “I curse you. Three times, I curse you. As you’ve murdered me, may your hands always be stained with blood. May death be your only companion. May you-“ he breaks off abruptly, coughing.

Valerian dies and I feel empty, numb. I roll his body to the grave he was digging, and use the shovel to bury him. Lost of will, the glamour takes over me, and my feet drags me back to the palace. There are people screaming, making a big commotion by the entrance, but I manage to sneak in, as they avert to be near the bloodied girl. Somewhere deep inside my mind, there is horror with the scene that I front. All the Greenbriars are by the dais, except for Dain. Balekin is finishing killing his father, his sword crossing the High King’s torso. All the sisters are dead, laying beside him. I meet Cardan’s gaze, a flawless statue standing beside Taryn, that strangely has blood over her gown.

A hand takes me by my elbow, gripping tight, pushing me to walk until we are near enough the dais. As we walk, I can see all those who stood behind to see the outcome of the crown. The Alderking is looking at Cardan, his grip over the sword Heartsworn, ready for a fight as his knights are. Lord Roiben is not far from him, Kaye looking at me with a quirked brow. I see other known faces, friends of Cardan, some of our classmates, such as the friendly Fand. But there is no strength in me, nothing to yell searching for help, to tell Cardan that he is in danger. I turn to see Balekin releasing his dead father, letting the corpse fall to its side, and his cold gaze assesses me, then stares at Dain beside me.

“Is this what you wanted? All our family dead?”, Dain asks. “Did you send the girl for me?”, she shakes me, showing whom he is talking about. “Tell them, lousy human”

There is no need to glamour me again. My eyes meet Cardan, and without emotion I do what I was told to.

“I used you as an excuse to be so often at Hollow Hall, to be near Balekin. Locke was right, I knew that you looked at me, desired me, and I took advantage of it. You look like him”, I glance at Balekin. “That is what made it easier for me to kiss you”. 

Cardan's expression doesn't change, still shocked over all the bloodshed. His black eyes so open, without blinking, terrified. 

“The girl was a puppet, Cardan!”, Dain states.

Oh, I see. That is not a lie.

“What are you muttering about, Dain? Have you lost your senses?”, Balekin answers. “As if I would have anything to do with a human!”

“I saw you looking at her sometimes, don’t deny it, Balekin!”, Dain sneers.

Cardan slowly turns to Balekin, still stunned.

“It is alright, Cardan”, Dain continues. “I shall finish the girl for you, and you can give me the blood crown!”

Dain takes Nightfell from my waist, but misses his killing blow, cutting my side. Madoc caused Dain to miss it, piercing his own sword through Dain’s heart from behind. He pulls back his sword and let Dain fall, dead.

“Cardan, watch out!”, I hear Taryn shout, then she screams painfully.

Dread overtakes me, I turn to see The Ghost by the ceiling first, then see Taryn and Cardan fallen, but the arrow hit her arm, and Cardan is still alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you just read, Madoc was not plotting with Balekin, but even so, he ended up killing Dain. I hope you don’t find it boring.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter beta-read by the awesome Aida <3 
> 
> [Listen to Eva Cassidy - Time After Time]

[Cardan’s POV]

This is what it means to be a Greenbriar: selfish, spoiled and cruel. Drunk as I am, it is all a slow process to understand what is happening. I must confess that I only feel sorrow for Rhyia, her corpse lays, not far from me, her blank face fixed on the ceiling. The memory of her laughter pains my heart, and now I am less drunk. Not that I wish to be. Locke says this joke to Taryn, about her pretending to be Jude and comfort me. He is drunk, but Taryn seems angry enough to kill him, and she does, with a sword from one of my guards. I hear Balekin asking his knights where Dain had gone, then Jude arrives. Finally, my sweet Jude is here and it is going to be alright. However, Jude is covered in blood, and looks far from the safest person to be around.

Dain brings her closer, and I see Balekin smiling. Jude’s words do not make sense. I try to see the lie, but she looks emotionless. What has happened? Was this really Balekin’s plan all along? There is no time to process, Dain takes Jude’s sword. He is going to kill her! I start walking, but it is Madoc that saves her. My relief is short.

“Cardan, watch out!”, Taryn pushes me aside, and screams in pain, stumbling a few steps, then falling over me, near my dead sister Elowyn. “I won’t let you kill him!”, she shouts, turning to look up.

I follow her gaze to meet a face that I have seen before. The man with sandy hair and hazel eyes who separated Jude from me before, when we were dancing. He has a crossbow aimed at me, but with Taryn in the way, he is not willing to shoot.

“Why are you covering me?”, I ask her.

I don’t remember Taryn liking me.

“Because Jude loves you, and if you die, it will also kill her”, Taryn hisses at me.

“But Jude just said...”, I try to put pieces together, but everything is a mess in my head – in my heart.

“Cardan, Jude was under a glamour! How could you not- Oh, whatever. Put yourself together, Elfhame needs a king, and are you going to allow it to be Balekin?”

“Rise Cardan”, I feel a hand taking me from under Taryn, and guards build a wall around me to protect me from any shot. Balekin puts the crown in my hand. “Now it is not the time to disobey me, Cardan. Crown me the High King!”

My head hurts and I am growing thirsty. I find Jude’s chestnut eyes. Her skin is pale, but weak as she looks in her father’s arms, Jude manages to curve her sweet lips in a smile. “ _I hate you_ ”, she mutters as I read her lips, “ _I love you_ ”. Dain. Jude was Dain’s spy. He used her, and was willing to kill her to make me give him the blood crown. What is so good about making an oath to a crown, and depend on the descendants, without ever knowing them? I remember Jude asking me if I never wondered about being a king. I answered that I would not make a good king, but that does not mean that I did not think about it. In my childish questionings, I did.

“My Folk, listen to me”, I walk away from the circle of guards, from Balekin’s reach. “Vows should be to a ruler, by your own free will. You have a choice between Balekin or I, as Queen Mab's descendants, or you could have one less Greenbriar, enough to break the thread of ascension, and find another ruler. However, I stand here. You know me", I meet their eyes. Those who have reveled with me, those who thought poorly of me. I feel that it is my rightful place, as I feel magic running in my veins, as though the world is choosing me. "Folk of Elfhame, will you accept me as your High King?" I call them. 

Lord Roiben is the first to approve of me, followed by the Alderking. As the crowd accepts my offer as their new High King, bowing to me, I take the circlet out of my head and stare the blood crown in my hand. The ritual was supposed to be a blood relative placing the crown over my head, that is why Balekin needed me. I turn to him, a disdainful smile plays on his mouth, because he thinks I am going to ask him. I smile back. There is power filling my veins, from being chosen by the Folk and being a descendant. Somehow I know that I don't need him because of this exact combination, so I place the crown on my head, and since I am still breathing, Balekin's smile vanishes, turning into dread.

My body is tingling, though. I gaze at my hands, full with fingers, and feel that it is the first time that I have seen them. I pinch my cheeks, graze my neck, run my tongue over my teeth. Was this me? I look at my father’s dead body, his skin cracking, giving place to roots that start growing. The land claiming his body. It served him once, now Eldred needs to serve the land himself. I feel it, I feel the Land judging me with wonderment. I lift my head.

“Guards, arrest my brother! Arrest Balekin!”, I command. “I shall punish him later”

“He is gone, my king”, a knight says, and I turn to see that it is true.

“Then pursue him. Find him, and have him arrested. He murdered my family, he murdered our previous king. Balekin must pay for it”.

The knight bows, and leaves with others to fulfill the task.

“My Folk, with the unhappy events that preceded my ascension, I shall call off tonight’s revel”, I look at their eyes with a firm gaze, a confidence growing within me. “We shall mourn for our losses, for three days. Then, we must revel together, to build up our alliances and strengthen our reign!”

I call on servants, to give them orders about where to bury my father and siblings, by the center of the courtyard. Their bodies will turn into beautiful trees, paying the land with their lives to continue the circle of life. Also, I give orders to have Locke buried in his maze, the place he loved most. I have servants and guards taking Taryn to a guest room to be treated by a healer, and I have Jude in another guest room. I give orders for servants to prepare me an official chamber, one that was not my father’s, and Madoc approaches me, putting a hand on my shoulder.

“Have Jude healed. I will find Balekin for you”, then he bows, and gives me a wry smirk. “My king”

Madoc lifts his chin, as if he is proud of me. It is the first time tonight that I feel like I am breathing again. I nod, and Madoc leaves me. I give a few more orders of arresting Balekin's accomplices, and the man who had shot Taryn. Then I turn to a guard to ask where they had taken Jude. Before following the woman, I call on Brokk, one of my most valued guards, and Flint, that was not far behind Brokk. It is like I am inside a dream, watching everything from a body that is not my own. As we turn into a new corridor, I spot the goblin that tried to have me plastered, giving me wine whenever my cup went empty. He is turning into a corner and I call on him:

"Roach!"

He startles, stopping. I look at my guards significantly, so they stop following me, giving me space to talk to the goblin. He has a woman in his arms, with cloudy white hair stained in blood, and there is also blood running down her forehead.

"Who is she?", I demand.

"A friend", he answers, avoiding my eyes.

"Did either of you try to kill me tonight?", I ask him.

"No", he finally looks at me. "I have to treat her, I cannot lose her", Roach presses his lips together. He is suffering.

I turn to the guard named Flint, "Take them to a guest room, and have a healer sent for them". 

The Roach manages a stumbling bow, then follows Flint to the opposite side he was walking. I am taken to where Jude was sent. I open the door to find her being stitched, sitting in a wooden cushioned chair, wearing only her human undergarments. I see bruises on her neck, on her wrists and tiny cuts over her arms. There is a lot of blood, however, I think that some of it does not belong to her. Jude finds my eyes, and my heart races. I want to embrace her, I want her to pet my head and tell me that everything is going to turn out absolutely fine. 

"My king", it takes me a moment to understand that they are calling me. I turn to see a Councilor, Randalin. "The Living Council awaits you"

"Of course", I nod. 

My eyes search for Jude again, her lips slightly curve by the corner of her mouth. Is she mocking me? It could be just a sign that she is fine, reassuring me. But I have strong reasons to believe that she is mocking me. For instance, I was the lazy prince. I feel myself smiling back, then I turn to follow Randalin to the strategy meeting room. There is irony in being here, since my father never liked to have me around. I choose a seat, and they start talking about procedures, about who stood by me and who flew away. Madoc arrives when the sun is already rising, telling me that Balekin had made alliances with Queen Orlagh, and was there in the Undersea with her protection. I hope Nicasia is not suffering under her mother, taking her freedom to be here in Elfhame, assuming that I could use her with ill intent. Dismissing the meeting, I walk back to Jude's chambers, trying to make no sound, since I don't want to wake her, if she is resting from her wounds. 

"You came back", her low voice is followed by a yawn. 

Jude sits in the bed, leaning her back against the headboard. She has bathed and is wearing a silky brown nightgown that displays her cleavage marvelously. My beautiful villain. Although, is she really mine?

"I just wanted to see that you are alright. You may rest now-"

"Don't leave me", Jude cuts me off, sorrow crosses her face. "Please".

It is hard to feel, with everything that has been happening with me since the beginning of my father's abdication. His dead eyes flash in my memory, causing me an unpleasing shiver. I take the wooden chair closer to the bed, and sit. My feet throb, tired. I want to undress, bathe and sleep, but I cannot do it beside Jude before having a talk.

"Tell me everything", I meet her gaze. "No lies."

And she does. Jude tells me about when she had made her oath to Dain; when she sneaked into Hollow Hall for the first time, that she saw me being beaten; about the geas that allowed Dain to glamour her; about the Ghost, The Roach and The Bomb; of how the Ghost had to kill me if Dain died and how she was glamoured to finish things with me; and that she had killed Valerian after he had tried to kill her. I imagine him choking her as I watched him choke a girl by the lake, Jude's dead eyes. Another unpleasant chill runs down my spine. 

"I am sorry about your family", Jude comes closer, standing in front of me. 

She reaches to touch my face, but pulls her hand back. It hurts me that she is unsure about this light gesture. I bring her hand to my cheek, pressing it against my skin, desperate to feel her love. It must have shown in my face, how she is making me vulnerable and bringing forth the turmoil of my feelings that I had no time to process, so Jude kneels in front of me, and embraces me, so firmly, that I feel protected. My arms cage her back, as I cry on her shoulder. Jude keeps petting my head, and hugging me until I calm down. I feel the need to wash my face, and when I return, I find her standing, using a towel to clean my mucus and tears from her shoulder, then drapes it over the chair. It makes me laugh.

I take her hand in mine, and my other arm wraps around her waist.

"I love you", I tell her.

Jude smiles.

"I love you", she answers.

"You know why I started business with Linnet, and was recruiting knights, right?", I kiss her cheek, and lean back a little, enough to meet her gaze. Jude quirks a brow, making me grin. She had not thought about it.

"Was it not something to do as a prince's duties?" 

"Well, I could do all of that because I was a prince, indeed", I kiss her other cheek. "Nonetheless, I was thinking about the future. You see, I would not have you as a wife and still live with Balekin in Hollow Hall", her face changes to a frown as she processes what I am telling her. "so I started business to build an estate of my own, and build a family with you there. Can you imagine me taking care of an estate? I suppose that being king is a far more complicated matter. But now the palace is my home, and I don't have to wait to build an estate" I take my hand out of hers, and with my teeth, I pull off her ring that I had stolen earlier when we attended Lord Roiben’s revel. I was so proud then, to succeed at the Roach's teachings.

"How did you?", she mutters, trying to take her ruby ring back, but I close my fingers around it, not letting her have it - not just yet. 

"Jude", she looks up at me. "Will you marry me?"

She is stunned. Then her eyes water. She looks confused.

"You can't, you are the High King now!", Jude argues. It makes me smile. 

"I can. Kings and queens don't often marry for something other than political alliances, true, but there are exceptions. I was chosen as king, and not just earned it because of the Blood Crown", the words come easily to me. "You were the one that allowed me to be me, and not only the cruel prince that Elfhame knew about. If it were not for your love, I would never believe in anyone's trust, and find the confidence to use their trust to rule. You are the reason that I can be king, and it is only fair that you become my queen as well".

Jude flushes, and shrinks timidly. "Yes, I will marry you", she answers, nodding her head. "How do we do it?"

"We can have a fancy ceremony... Or we could marry right now. We just need vows, Jude"

Her eyes glow as they look at me, happiness overflowing her. I kiss her forehead, unable to express my joy after so much misery. 

"I will marry you now", Jude answers in a whisper. 

Our eyes meet, and I can see her love flooding there. I hope she sees it in my eyes as well.

"I, Cardan son of Eldred, High King of Elfhame, take you, Jude Duarte, mortal ward of Madoc, to be my bride and my queen. Let us be wed until we wish for it to be otherwise", I slide her ring on her finger. A mortal gesture that I had heard of. "Your turn"

"I, Jude Duarte, take Cardan, High King of Elfhame, to be my husband. Let us be wed until we don't want to be anymore"

I feel the Land accepting her, and we shudder together under its bond. A yawn escapes her, and as a chain reaction, one escapes me as well. Our foreheads are pressed together, and I close my eyes, in love. Jude Duarte is my wife and my queen. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, I abused Cardan’s magic blood, his connection to the land and gave power to the Folk choosing him so that he could place the crown on his own head. I thought it would be nice making him choose to be king for once, for Cardan stepping forward after the connections and alliances and friendships that he built.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter beta-read by the awesome Aida <3

[Cardan’s POV]

This is not my room, but it matters not. It was a long night, and the daytime was not enough to absorb it all. I still feel like a stranger in my own body, and it seems that the Land agrees with me that it is too much to process at once. However, I am not alone. There is sorrow and confusion, but mending my heart there is Jude. She loves me, she married me. Jude is in my arms, sleeping deeply, her head over my bare chest. This happiness overflows me with a hum escaping me. This is where Jude belongs, with me, my queen. I can imagine how the Living Council will react to it, and I grin at the thought. They will learn to admire Jude, they shall see how wonderful she is, and I bet that Jude will also scare our enemies.

Her breathing changes as she awakes, and she wraps me in a tight embrace. I graze my fingertips over her arm, feeling her soft skin and a few scars.

“How are you feeling, _wife?”_ , I am tasting the word, and it feels like home.

“How long have you been awake, waiting to call me that?”, she chuckles softly, and kisses my chest.

“There is no need to know that”, I feel my embarrassed smile, as my cheeks heat. “But I do want to know how you are feeling”.

Jude looks up, and I can see the cleavage of her nightgown kindly exposing the fullness of her breasts.

“I see that _you_ are feeling quite well yourself, _husband_ ”, she teases me, and I bite my bottom lip. The word has the most beautiful sound leaving her lips. “My wound hurts, and none of this quite feels real”, she flushes, “being your wife, being the High Queen. I feel anxious... And you? Truly”.

“It is all hazy”, I confess, and Jude nods.

A knock on the door sounds, and I can see Jude’s anxiety in her eyes. I lean forward, cupping her cheek to kiss her tenderly. The knock sounds again, and I smile against her mouth, the monster within me that relishes on the slightest signs of Jude’s discomfort, at least she smiles back. Jude rolls over out of bed, and I take a moment to appreciate her in this nightgown before she covers herself with a robe. We married, but we were too tired, so we ended up sleeping right after. Although, for now I can live through the night with only the thought of Jude being my wife, and set matters of passion once we are back to _our_ bedchamber. Am I being foolish to be happy with these thoughts? Possibly. Is this how a king behave? Well, I am king, and I say that I am allowed to be in love and act however foolish I desire to do so. I rise, and she smiles at my nudity. Covering myself with a robe, I say aloud: “Come in!”.

Randalin enters the bedchamber looking confused at Jude, then turns to me.

“My king, the Council wishes to speak with you”.

“Alas, we were in a meeting until the sun rose!”, I frown. “What is the urgency about?”

He glances at Jude again.

“It is a matter of secrecy, my king. You must understand that it would not be wise to discuss things in front of... outsiders”, Randalin was unsure of which term to use about Jude. He knows my brothers despised humans, and I had been called ‘the cruel prince’ more than once. So Randalin must have been wondering which word he could use to please me.

“Jude Duarte is my wife, Randalin”, I have to hold myself to not bark a laugh at his stunned expression. “Hence, you can speak of secrecy matters to your High Queen as well”

Randalin stumbles back. A human as the High Queen might be worse than watching Balekin killing the previous king.

“High Queen?”, he asks, as if he heard me wrong.

I take Jude’s hand, and pull her closer to hold her waist. The crimson of her cheeks melts my heart.

“Do you have something to say about it as well, or are you going to keep it a secret and run your mouth behind your queen’s back?”, Jude glares Randalin, daring him to say all that she already knows.

Radalin remains silent.

“Go”, I tell him. “You must go now, tell the Council the News and we will meet you back in the strategy room within one hour. Send for Brokk once you are out”.

Immediately after Randalin is out the room, my knight enters and bows.

“How can I assist you, my king?”, his grave voice full of obedience. It helps me to feel more like a king.

“I presume the room I had asked for myself is ready”

“Yes, my king. The servants even brought a few of your garments from Hollow Hall, while you have not chosen your new wardrobe as the High King”, Brokk says promptly.

“Good. Take us there, and send a servant to have a few of Jude’s clothes sent to my chambers as well”

Jude is fascinated by the richness of our new apartments. We have different sets of rooms: a bedchamber where a large bed covered in black silky sheets stands right in the center, with two big root cushioned chair, which parts of the roots were bathed in gold, a matching low root table in front of them, near the fireplace. And there is a golden ottoman in front of the bed. We have a changing room, filled with wardrobes, chiffoniers and a big mirror. Jude opens a few doors to inspect the contents, and finds some of my clothes there, but most of it is empty. There is a bathing chamber, with a tub big enough for a king and his consorts to enjoy their time. A vine shelf with clean towels and clean robes, beside a basin with water in front of an inclined mirror, and there is a wooden partition to offer privacy. We also have a living room, and a study. I can already imagine having sex with Jude in each one of these rooms.

After we dress ourselves properly, I have Jude’s hand in my arm, and we walk side by side to the strategy meeting room. With the others in the Living Council, Randalin finds courage to question my decision of marrying Jude. Fala sings a mischievous approving riddle, Baphen states that the Folk never had a human queen. They tell me that if I want I queen, that I should try other options.

“Enough!”, I growl at them, and they shrink in fear. “You are disrespecting me and the High Queen. If I hear of it again, I will have whoever speaks ill of my wife punished. If you want to discuss this matter further, it is about how we are going to hold Jude’s coronation”

They are silent. Good.

“What about Taryn?”, Madoc asks me.

“Yes, I had her isolated, secured by guards”. Jude turns to me, confused. “Taryn murdered my friend, Locke, so we have to hold her inquiry”

“If you saw her murdering him, you should not show mercy, my king”, another general talks, and I can see Madoc’s anger.

“Taryn also saved my life”, I tell them. “You should be thankful to her, unless you’d rather have Balekin here. If so, you are free to leave the Council”

I lift a brow, and the man keeps silent. We discuss Balekin’s whereabouts, and the possibilities of his alliance with the Undersea. It seems that the urgent matters were only Randalin’s curiosity about me sleeping with Jude Duarte. We agree to hold Taryn’s inquiry after the days of mourning that I imposed pass, as well as any traitor that helped Balekin murder my family. Madoc was only holding his position after killing Dain because there was a lot of witness on how he was protecting his daughter.

As the meeting finishes, I take Jude to another guest room, to meet The Roach sitting in a chair, talking with that woman with a cloudy white hair and small wings. She has her head bandaged, but Jude doesn’t care about it, and runs to hug her friend. Jude also didn’t know that I sent for the man who had shot Taryn, trying to kill me. I tell the three of them, since they were all working together, and they exchange concerned looks. I tell them that I would speak to the man, and Jude accompanies me. The Ghost, as she calls him, looks relieved to see that Jude is fine. Since I was not planning on giving Balekin the crown, The Ghost’s glamour was off.

“If it is of any use for you, King Cardan, I can give you my name, and pledge my oath to you”, The Ghost offers.

“To us”, I correct him. “Jude is the High Queen, now”

He barks a laugh, and I see Jude embarrassed. The Ghost must have teased her about me before, to be laughing at her so openly.

“Did Dain know your name?”, I ask him. He looks at me with humor lingering his lips.

“Yes, he did. Locke did as well, and Taryn knows”, The Ghost looks at Jude.

“How?”, she asks him.

“Dain made me kill Locke’s mother”, now there is no humor left, and he walks idly to lean against the wall. “I thought that if I gave the boy my name, it would redeem myself. However, Locke was a wicked child, and used me for many things. Taryn knows it because Locke has told her”

“That is why you hesitated to shoot me, when Taryn shielded me”, I assume. He says nothing. Perhaps there is more to it, but it seems that it is their business, not mine.

I agree to his proposal, and now Garret is under me by oath and by name. With this, I let him visit The Roach and The bomb. We visit Taryn next, and she has a bandage over her arm where she has been shot. She runs to hug Jude, then curtsies to me. I start laughing, unable to hold myself, and Taryn looks troubled.

“You see”, I say, still laughing. “You are so noble to curtsy to me, because I am king now, but you just went on ahead and hugged your queen!”

“Queen?”, she looks at Jude with mouth open.

Jude gives me an elbow to my side, and I try to stop laughing.

“We married before going to sleep”, Jude tells her.

“And you are dressed like this?”, Taryn’s shock over Jude’s garments are better than her shock over Jude being queen. I am in stitches now.

Jude takes Taryn’s hand, pulling her so they sit in the bed. I recover my breath, and walk closer, pulling a chair to sit in front of them.

“Tell us what happened”, Jude asks, with a serious face.

Taryn tell us how Locke was abusing her emotionally, how he used her love to test her limits. She confesses that she had fun with him, but Taryn was growing tired, numb. After the bloodshed at the coronation, Locke was drunk enough to keep abusing her.

“He wouldn’t stop talking!”, Taryn says, exasperated. “Then I saw the knight’s sword near me, and I made Locke stop”

There are no tears, no fear in Taryn’s eyes. Locke had broken her in a dark way, and he payed for his bet on his own game. She meets my eyes, uncertain if she will tell me more. I lift a brow, daring her to hide something from me, and Taryn sighs.

“There is one more thing. Locke knew about it, and even then, he would be out for days, at parties and in other’s embrace...”

“What is it?”, Jude asks, frowning.

“I am pregnant”

I am taken aback.

“Oh”, Jude says, clearly missing words.

I let Jude talking to her sister alone, and start fulfilling my royal duties, like freeing Hollow Hall’s human servants, for instance, and taking care of my wine business with Linnet.

\--

Madoc and Oriana had come to congratulate us for our marriage over dinner, and Oak was quite happy for us. I visit Locke’s estate alone, to find the crepe myrtle tree growing from where he had been buried. Nicasia must have heard, and I wonder how she is feeling. Not great, I suppose. It is strange to have Valerian and Locke dead. We were terrible together, they fed the monster that I used to be, and were the few that dared to be close, even if I was putrid, a fallen apple left to rot. We were good at being bad. I feel a smile play in the corner of my mouth, and leave. The next grave to visit are from my family. They made the garden more beautiful, colorful. At least, even now as part of the Land, they are together. The High King Eldred and his children, the ones he was so proud of.

As the days to mourn are over, the night of revels comes. Jude is elegantly dressed in a golden gown that I designed for her. It has long sleeves but her shoulders are exposed, as they should be. The neckline is not that kind to me, but I know she prefers a bit of modesty, and the skirt has thin brown vines, as if Jude were a flower of her own species. A slit kindly exposes her leg up to her mid thigh, and since she is my villain, there are hidden pockets for her knives, dagger and a vial with an antidote to most poisons. She has Nightfell on her waist, and her hair was made in a single braid, resting over her chest. I am matching her with golden powder on my cheekbones, and a golden embroidered doublet. We rise from our thrones, and I see white flowers blooming between the vines, my power over the land exposing my happiness, as my tail does, waving back and forth.

"Folk of Elfhame", I call them, and the crowd goes silent. "You have chosen me as your king on an exceptional night. We have made history, changing how a king must ascend. Well, I am not much different from most of you, and for the horror of some, there is a heart beating inside me", I hear laughter through the brugh, and smile at them. "It happens that I was in love with Jude Duarte for longer than I ever admitted to myself, and it only grew as I learned more about her." I turn to meet her eyes, glittering in joy and love. Her cheeks pink, and a stunning smile plays on her full lips. "I chose Jude to be the woman of my life - my wife and queen", I spot Oak where we had planned for him to be, and gesture with my hand so he can approach us, holding a delicate golden crown, matching my own. "I know it is unusual to have a human queen, but if you know Jude, you know that she is capable of such deed. And if you do not know her, I ask for your trust again, and I assure you that I trust Jude with my life", I run my eyes over theirs, and take a deep breath. "Folk of Elfhame, will you accept Jude Duarte as your queen?"

For a moment, I am afraid that they will refuse her. Then their answer echoes through the brugh and reverberates in my heart: "Yes, we will". 

I take Oak in my arms, and he places the crown over Jude's head. Oriana promptly takes him over as I take Jude's hand and we face our people, kneeling at us. I take a goblet of wine and Jude takes one for herself. 

"I am glad of your loyalty, grateful for your honor", I tell them as they rise. "To you, I offer honey wine and the hospitality of my table. But to traitors and oath breakers, I offer my queen’s hospitality instead. The hospitality of knives!" and we all drink to that.

The music starts over, and the Folk feast again. The Alderking Severin comes to greet us, with his knight Hazel and his consort Ben.

“You were not taking your relationship lightly”, Severin teases me.

“I told you that Jude was not glamoured”, I grin at him.

Lord Roiben and Kaye also come to meet us, congratulating us on our marriage, and wishing best regards, as such other courtiers do the same. Taking Jude’s hand in mine, I lead her to the crowd dancing, and we dance together, as husband and wife, a first of many that may follow. 


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter beta-read by the awesome Aida <3  
> Thank you again Aida, for making the reading better and for the tips and conversations! It was a nice experience :)
> 
> The end of the end.  
> Suggestion:  
> Aerosmith – "I don’t wanna miss a thing"  
> .

[Cardan’s POV]

Madoc wants to go to war with the Undersea, but thankfully, Jude agrees with me that we should try all others strategies before having a bloodshed. Jude takes me to the Court of Shadows’ chambers, and we organize our own web of spies, starting by Liliver, Van and Garret reciting oaths, pledging themselves to us, with their real names on their knees, and rising as the Bomb, the Roach, and the Ghost. We hold the inquiry of the traitors and Taryn’s. As a conclusion, Jude sentences the traitors to turn into Falcons, and only return to their original form if they decide to follow me as their king and live through a year without hunting. Jude lets Taryn’s judgement for me, since Locke was my friend and she does not care less about his death. If anything, Jude is glad that her twin is free from his manipulating games.

I know how Locke could control a person’s action. There were times that I would let him use me in his plays, and we would have fun together as we broke other people’s heart and mind. And Taryn had saved my life, thinking about how Jude would feel if I were to die.

“There is a great irony in that”, I tell the Folk during Taryn’s inquiry. She is standing in front of the dais, in a plain pink gown, surrounded by guards. Her bandage still covering her wound. “Since it was a _mortal_ saving _my_ life because another _mortal_ could not bear to lose me”, I see some of the Folk smiling at the irony of that. “Some would think of it as shame, to be saved by a mortal. However, I find myself thankful to have the opportunity to keep on living. As a debt payed, a life for a life, you are free, Taryn Duarte. And as you bear Locke’s heir, you may keep his estate to yourself and raise his child”.

Gossip and judgement spread through the brugh as Taryn curtsies, and walks to be by her family’s side. I turn to Jude sitting on her throne, and she rises to stand beside me.

“As we all know, the revel shall go on!”, Jude tells the Folk.

I raise my acorn cup with wine for a toast. “May your night be delightful!”, and we all drink to that.

\---

I am getting used to life as the High King, reconnecting with my body and learning about my connection with the Land. However, I miss Jude. She is here with me, and it is incredible that the Land has welcomed her fully, allowing her to have power as well, letting the High Queen belong. Jude is magnificent sitting on the throne, as if she was ready for it her whole life, and she takes the lead during most of our meetings with the Living Council. Having her by my side from the moment I wake to when I lay down to sleep, to watch her dreaming, and observe her knit her brows together as she schemes, my life is wonderful now. Except, since she is still human, she tires more easily than I do. And I have not made any more attempts than kisses, because of her wounds from my coronation’s night, and all our work as king and queen, I thought she needed time to rest.

She is elegantly and sensually dressed in indigo, with crystal beads, a gown adjusting to her curves as if it were only another layer of skin. It is tied with a knot on the nape of her neck, exposing all of her back. Her auburn hair loose, cascading over her shoulders to her chest, and I feel an urge to graze my hand over her back. Jude is talking with courtiers, and I walk to stand beside her, placing my palm by the end of her bare back. She looks up to meet my eyes, and gives me a dazzling smile.

“Would you excuse us? I need to discuss something with our queen”, I tell the courtiers, without looking at them.

My hand stays on Jude’s back as we walk to our chambers, followed by our guards. As soon as we close the doors, I kiss her lips, lifting her chin with a knuckle.

“Jude, I know you are tired from all our duties”, I move her hair away from her shoulder, cupping the back of her head to brush my lips on her neck. “However, I am in constant reveries about your body. I cannot stop thinking of you, sweet villain”, I kiss her jaw, softly, and she exhales sharply. “Tell me: do you miss me? Because I miss you”

I trail my fingertips over her back, and Jude arches, as if asking for more. Her hands rest over my velvet doublet, and she tilts her head allowing me to plant a kiss on every inch of her neck to her collarbone.

“I do”, Jude answers sweetly.

Every time she accepts me my heart flutters. Perhaps I am always waiting for her to dissolve into a mist, a dream reaching its end, and I would wake up elsewhere but her embrace. Jude steps back and her chestnut eyes are drowning in lust. She bites her bottom lip, and the corner of her mouth curves into a mischievous smirk. It is inevitable, a smile plays on my lips back at her, trying to lure her more, like a monster seducing its prey. Jude parades to the table where a bottle of wine rests, and clean wooden cups with silver adornments await to be used. She pours wine in only one of the cups, and I lift a brow to her. Does she intend to share the cup, or is she playing with me, not giving me wine and drinking it by herself? Jude takes a sip.

“Did you know that humans have sex toys?”, she asks me.

“They play while having sex? I can not imagine that”, I feel my frown as I try to imagine such nonsense.

Jude giggles, and I find myself fascinated by her.

“The toys are not a child’s object to play with”, in a deliberate motion, Jude takes a step closer, and it occurs to me that I might be the one playing the role of a prey. “They can be objects with specifics shapes, as a male or female private part. These objects can move, vibrate. They are very creative, you see”, her cheeks are pink, embarrassed, but not only that. I can see her desire growing; certainly, it is how I feel within my breeches.

“So you have been doing indecent research about the human realm”, I tease her, and Jude chuckles.

“While learning about all those sex toys, there was one that gave me an idea; it was a lotion, actually. A type of a oil, that stimulates your partner. And it has been quite some time that I have been wanting to try it with you”, she takes another sip.

“By all means, I am yours”, I tell her in a whisper.

Jude is heaving, anxious. She takes two fingers inside the cup, dipping in the wine, then she draws a line in her neck with them.

“Drink from me, Cardan”, the cadence of her voice is soft, and her eyes dares me.

I am already loving this game. Closing our distance, my hand rests on her waist, as my tongue sweeps the wine from her skin, and Jude gasps. She repeats the procedure, coating the places Jude wishes to feel my mouth; her ear, her mouth, from her throat to her neckline, she lets a drop run down her back, and I gladly lick it all.

“Take off your clothes”, Jude commands me. “Let me drink from you as well”.

She watches me as I undress for her, and as I want her badly, in two simple moves, I take her dress down, pooling it by her feet. Jude offers me the cup, and I start painting me in wine. We keep taking turns, she sucks bruises on my skin, and I lick her with passion, but with heed about her wounds. She playfully takes my member and dips it in the cup, then swallows me. Heat pulses through me as my member meets the back of her throat, and I let my head fall back with a groan. Jude stays on her knees devoted to me, and I watch her, muttering her name, gripping her hair. Her tongue pushes against my skin as if she were kissing my mouth, the warmth and saliva are a perfect combination, she pumps her head up and down aware that I am hers to command and to play as she sees fit. My painful ceaseless desire in her mouth while one of her hands uses the saliva sliding down to stimulate me below my length, and I am starting to feel my legs weak with pleasure.

I pull Jude up, and she carelessly let the cup fall, the wine drenching her front. Jude curses, worried about the mess, but all I see is an opportunity. I start licking the wine over her breasts, grazing my teeth at the hard tips, suckling them. She shudders a moan and my name, a surrender to her paramour. I kiss Jude’s mouth, pushing my tongue against hers, sucking her lips, while walking Jude backwards until she falls onto the golden root chair. She runs her tongue over her swollen lips, and looks at me like a starving beast.

“If you wanted me savoring every inch of your body, wife”, I kneel at her feet, and grab her right calf to bite, “There was no need to spill wine to the ground”.

My mouth tastes the wine of her legs, and Jude’s breath hitches. I let the back of her knees rest over my shoulders, gripping her thighs and circling my thumbs on her firm muscles.

“Are you upset about the spilled wine, husband?”, she asks, letting her head tilt as her eyes are those of a queen looking at her subject; a presumptuous expression that Jude might have learned from me, and it is arousing.

“You know I don’t like to waste wine”, I bite her knee. “Perhaps I should hold an inquiry for you. What do you think would be a fair punishment, my queen?”.

I take one of my hands off of her thigh to caress her belly teasingly, then I slide it down until my thumb rests over the apex of her thighs, there, without moving.

“Are you trying to torture me, my king?”, Jude gasps. “This way you are going to let the wine dry on my skin”.

“A valid argument, sweet Jude”.

Bending towards her, I take my hand that was resting by the end of her belly to a more useful task, cupping a breast and rubbing her nipple between my thumb and forefinger. I lick her navel and down to her slit, letting my tongue sweep her flatly, then circle her clit. Jude swears my name, and puts a hand over mine on her thigh, while she bites her other palm to keep her from moaning aloud. I kiss her femininity, pushing my tongue against her folds, feeling Jude circling her hips to have more. I missed her taste and her sweet voice. Keeping my tongue on her clit, I take my hand from her breast to slide two fingers inside her, and we grunt together. The pressure on my fingers makes my member throb, but I want to take things slowly. I lean back to watch Jude. My saliva dripping from her parts, her eyes closed to let her body focus on my touches, with her brows scrunched in a plea.

I lost track of who is in power over the other. It is clear what my touches cause within her, with her body reacting, relishing everything I do to her. All the same, Jude’s reactions make me perish, the aching heat between my legs begging me to feel Jude and give her more of me. My fingers slowly slide in and out, making her dripping lust join my saliva. I feel the throb harder, and I have to take my hand from her thigh, stroking my length to calm me down. Jude steals a glance at me, and smiles, merry with our love.

“Do I please you, my queen?”

“You have me melting, and you dare to ask?”, Jude chuckles softly, and groans. The fluttering of her eyes and parted lips emphasizing how she is falling deep into pleasure.

“I like to hear it”, a confession through a hoarse voice.

I hold her hand on her thigh, and bring my mouth back to her clit, sucking on it and pressing my tongue, making Jude moan out of control, and she can’t muffle all of her sweet sounds. Her core pulses, and the feeling of her orgasm sends a current through my veins, burning me. I don’t stop, but I slow down again, and Jude’s breath returns to gasps.

“I want to please you too”, her voice is a whisper.

I meet her eyes through the curtain of my hair, assessing her. My fingers are drenched with Jude, and I coat my member with it. Rising, I hold both of her hands so she accompanies me to our bed, and I think the best position to have her is beneath me. This way Jude’s wound won’t open, and I can control our pace. As Jude lays down first, she spreads her legs invitingly, making me suck in a breath. We kiss, her hands roaming my body. She alternates between soft touches with pure love, and aggressive groping, hungry for pleasure, and I respond with equal intensity. She reaches for my member, placing it by her entrance, then she holds me, pressing my body closer.

Our first time together was very intense, since it was Jude’s first time with a man, and since I had desired her, dreamed of how she would feel like for years; holding Jude Duarte made me feel whole, and each thrust would almost make me reach my peak, as weak in pleasure that I was. We have grown up together, learning more about ourselves and about each other. There is a great range of possible ways to give in to desire together, and I feel that we are better in bed now. Our love is stronger, more mature.

I hold Jude’s wrists above her head as I thrust into her. Jude gazes at me, then holds out her tongue to lick my chin. She lifts her legs more, allowing me to reach her deeper, provoking a fever in me. My hips move harder in frenzy, while I suck her tongue, my tail coiling around her ankle. Breathing on her neck, I release her wrists, and Jude grips my hair and my ass. Her mouth on the shell of my ear, her tongue pushing inside, making me moan her name and suck on her neck. We are both trying to please each other, and losing ourselves to it. I feel her core pulsing as her body trembles beneath mine and Jude moans louder, begging me to go harder. My mind goes blank as I give her what she wants, lost in orgasm.

Jude caresses my back as we recover our breaths. All my weight over her.

“Cardan?”

“Jude?”

“I love you”, she answers. I lift my head to meet her eyes. “I will not tire of telling you this. I love you. And I hope you won’t tire of hearing it”.

“Sweet wife” I smile at her. “You could have a blade on my throat and I would still be yours”

“You just gave me an idea”, Jude gives me a mischievous smirk.

“Of course I did, I am brilliant”, I tell her smugly, and Jude chuckles. I kiss her mouth. “I love you, Jude. By you, I am forever undone”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaay the end :D
> 
> Thank you so much for bearing with me through this fic, thank you for bookmarks, kudos and comments; you guys are wonderful, really!
> 
> I could've ended the fic on last chapter, but I wanted a last smut scene with love and with their usual provocation. 
> 
> To clarify now: If Balekin and the Undersea schemes together, if they ever abduct Jude, if Oak is heir, if Cardan ever breaks the crown... Well, this all is up to your imagination. My goal was to write a story where Cardan and Jude have more time together, becoming friends and finding love in a slow burn, then have the coronation in a more positive way for them (Cardan willing to be a king and the Folk trusting him). It is not that I think things should actually be this way in the books, no! The real story is amazing, and I love it! This was just a reverie of a parallel world, were I wanted more of Jurdan, more love and sweetness, that's all. 
> 
> Which scene/chapter did you like best?  
> I loved writing a lot of things, it was really fun to write this fic, but if I have to pick one, it is their first kiss, Jude crying in Cardan's arms as he kisses all her face before meeting her mouth xD
> 
> Thank you again for reading <3


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